What to expect when adopting?

Torrejon

How about a chapter on secrets. Adoption is full of them...from all points of view. It could end up being the longest chapter in the book.

As an adoptee, there were things I simply wasn't articulate enough to explain to my AP's. As an adult, I still haven't told anyone in my afamily that I searched.

I Love A Child With Autism!!!

* Expect that she knows that she isn't from you and she will want to seek out the people she came from. This is not meant to hurt you or belittle her relationship with you, it is just human nature to find out where we came from. Try not to internalize it and put your feelings aside you you can help her in her search! If you can't promise that, then you should not expect that adoption is the right choice for you!

Victoria

I would make sure to put something in there about adopting older children. I was adopted when I was 10 years old. I was very lucky. Many people are afraid to adopt older children and they all sit in foster homes and rot until they are 18 years old. Maybe someone should shed some light on the matter.

Mom to Foster Children

Realize and accept that the child had to loose his / her mommy and daddy to become a part of your life.

aloha.girl59

*Expect that the child's natural parents' rights have not yet been terminated. There may be court-ordered visits that you will be required to bring the child to so that he can see his parents.
*Expect that the child may not warm to you immediately. Whether or not you feel connected to him, you should show that you are making an effort and treat him as you treat your other children (if you have any) regardless of how he feels about you.
*Expect that your foster child may have experienced some things in life you can't even dream of. He will need to be treated gently and lovingly and with firm but loving discipline. He may be searching for boundaries. You are there to provide them.
*Expect that there is a possibility that the child will return to his biological family. Though that will be hard for you, it is usually what is best for the child...and that is what it is SUPPOSED to be about anyway.

If I think of more, I will ETA later. These are just off the top of my head.

IDK!!

Chapter 1.....have no expectations.....

That's as far as I could get. There is nothing anyone should have told me to better prepare me for what i was about to feel.

rachelrmf@sbcglobal.net

realize that there is always a chance it won't happen no matter how close you are.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

Amen Sisters! I could find little to add

Chapter 3

Be open to communication and know you will have to talk about this for the rest of your child's life.

MATMAN

Expect ups, downs, highs and lows and eventually total joy (even though while you are going through it that is hard to see). It took me and my wife 5 years through infertility, miscarriages, and eventually adoption. The day we brought our son home the 5 years only felt like the wait was a day. The final reward is unreal. He is now 3. The time flies.

Serenity71

I think its a GREAT question, the more educated adoptive parents become about raising their kids the better...

Chapter- Having the right attitude when your waiting to be placed with a child.

Chapter- How about to make it talking about adoption with your child normal and enabling them feel free to ask you questions relating to their adoption.

Chapter- How much should you tell others about you childs background? And how to handle ignorance relating to adoption.

Chapter- Whats a tummy mommy/mum?

Chapter- The differences between fostering and adoption. Which would be the best avenue for you go down.

Chapter- Whats involved in a homestudy and why it needs to be done.

Chapter- Why use an agency? How ro know if the people your dealing with are ethical and working in the best interest of the child.

Chapter- What a relinquishing parent will likely to feel and this chapter is looking through their eyes on adoption and the effects it will have on them.

Independ"ant"

IA chapter

Expect that you may be harboring a child that was kidnapped from their natural parents.
Expect that you child was conceived in rape due to your demand for a healthy baby or toddler.
Expect your child to find out the truth one day and may hold you accountable for ignoring and participating in the atrocities committed against females in developing countries.

Birthers are NOT mothers

Expect...the little buggers will grow up and NEVER be happy! They will blame you and everyone else around for all of THEIR pit falls. They are perfect in every way, the world has just given it to them up the ***!

jazz41

If you spoil them hostility and nastiness. read some of the postings by adoptees in this section. I am considering withdrawing my application.

yeahright

Prepare to be in awe of how grateful you will feel for getting to know this little person, prepare to have to educate other people about adoption, prepare for really off of the wall intrusive questions, prepare for LOVE of your child, prepare for pain and sadness felt on behalf of all mothers--natural and otherwise and feeling split with yourself on all of the emotions that conflict with themselves because of it.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: