What would happen if I visited an adoption agency and had my 8 week old daughter with me?

Felicita1

At least you will be there with your cousin and not alone. They may assume that you want to surrender your baby. It would be interesting to see how they treat you (as a mother, or as a prospective "birthmother" to obtain a baby from).

Whatever happens, see if your cousin can audiotape the encounter. Also, pick up pamphlets and find out what "sales-techniques" they try -- i.e. convincing the two of you that parenting is too difficult and too expensive, offering to show you "waiting parent" profiles" to make you feel inadequate, promotion "open adoption" as if it is legally enforceable etc., offering to pay "expenses" etc.

But going in there with a baby does feel like walking into a den of lions holding a lamb, doesn't it? I am certain that the person who meets you there will automatically calculate a "price" for your baby in their heads even if they don't say anything..

Let us know how it goes.

courtney.wilson26

It's not like you're putting you're child up for adoption. Take her with you, you're her mother, no matter where you go.

shininginshadows

What would happen? You would be able to serve as a supportive family member (I hope). It's not like you're going to the DMV with a big long line and antsy people, you will be meeting with professionals who are there to support your cousin with her decision and will act in the best interest of her baby, not judge you.

At least any legitimate agency should run this way.

Philippa

As you're going along to support your cousin it would be unethical of them to question you about your daughter. If they do tell them quite firmly you are supporting your cousin and your relationship with your daughter is none of their business.

dmg

What do you think will happen? They don't just let people drop babies off there with no notice, you know. Go, it's like an office, not an animal shelter.

durdenslabs

She's your baby. You're not giving her up, so don't worry. If you were adopting they'd wonder why you wanted another child so soon after having a baby, but that's not the case.

Is your friend investigating a problem or trying to figure out what to do to adopt?

Crucio

Nothing would happen you are going there in regards to your cousin not yourself. Do you think they are going slip you something in the tea and then take your baby while your out of it? Your cousin needs your support so I would go with her and take the baby along.

I am sure there is far more to surrendering a baby/child then just walking into an agnecy and handing the baby to a staff member.

cmc

They aren't going to steal a baby out of your arms. I don't see a problem. If you're that worried you might want to check out the agency and make sure it is legitimate, but otherwise take your baby with you if you need to.

Just a Mom

Oh, that could be juicy...I really think you should do it and let us know, like others suggested.

cantstopLinnyG

Yikes. Pass these links on to your cousin. Agencies NEVER tell a young woman what surrendering her child will really be like- for her, or her baby.

Your baby will be fine. Just dont let anyone hold her.

What agencies and baby brokers will NEVER tell you about adoption:

http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html

http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index....
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/adoptedthemovie

Books:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton
The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton
The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search

C Wood

Call your baby's doctor and see how s/he feels about you taking the baby out to public places. If your doctor says this is ok, than take the baby.

NOW, if you don't feel you have the energy to do as asked, then honestly tell your cousin.

She's the one investigating adoption, so your baby and your age are irrelevant. The only thing your presence should mean to agencies is that your cousin has loving, supportive relatives, which is a good thing.
cw

grapesgum

Be prepared for condescension and lots of drooling. Take notes. Please share!

Ally A

you can go just say your cousin is looking into it not you because you happy with your baby, whats her name??

SkYkIsSeR

You will be ok. If you genuinely don't want to go just tell your cousin. But if you are just worried about taking your baby in, it will be ok. They won't take your baby away or try to talk you into giving your baby up. Not everyone that walks into an adoption agency wants to give their baby up. Good luck!

yeahright

Great project.

Lose the drama.

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