What would you do? I have had my son the last 12 yrs my ex takes care of him 100 miles away; listen to story! ?

We were married 1st year of birth she cheated on me; we divorced but since then I have never missed a child support payment; and have seen my son every two weeks with no problems; when I was making good money I even paid 3 times the child support to help and bought her a car just to be nice; i am remmaried to someone as she is; now she has 2 more kids; and 8 months ago my son got mad because he thought he couldnt take his guitar hero home; i wanted to keep something here for him to play; since then my brother killed himself and my family has had multiple problems; that I have had to deal with but for the last 8 months she wont let me see my son and she wants her new husband to adopt my son; its absolutely insane; i have never done anything but be nice and we have never had problems; i think i have had 2 arguments with my son in the last 12 years; my ex obviously is delusional; i just called the attorney and told her to shove the adoption papers up her ***; what would you do in my situation; she wont let me see my son; i mean its a hopeless sitation; i dont want to hurt my son but she has a mother who is crazy; i need legal advice and help would be appreciated
Additional Details
we have an agreemement; i have never missed one child support payment; i have never skipped a beat she is saying he doesnt want to see me; so she wont let him see me; what a load of crap

Gershom

I would absolutely continue paying your child support, continue proving that you want to be in your childs life and make it very clear. Don't give her any reason to prove to the courts that you're unfit. Never sign a single paper. Write letters and messages saying you want to see him, and take her to court for not upholding the custody agreement. If there is one, she cannot just "decide" to do otherwise.

LaurieDB

I'm assuming there is a court order that lays out visitation/custody arrangements. She is breaking the agreement. You need to take her back to court, as she has no legal right to do this.

Further, she is trying to get you to agree to termination of parental rights. I have a feeling that not allowing the visitation has more to do with trying to justify the desired adoption than anything else.

I have to respectfully disagree with the poster who suggested putting the child support money into a separate account. Here's why. Your ex is trying to push for an adoption. You do not want to give her any fuel to give the courts. Fathers have fewer and fewer rights all the time. Non-payment of support is a major issue in justifying adoptions that fathers don't want. Granted, you have to sign the relinquishment documents for the step-father to be able to adopt, but you really do not want to give the court any reason to believe that this would be in the best interest of your son. Non-payment of support can do just that.

Keep paying your support, work with your legal counsel, go back to court in the matter of her not following the custody agreement in the order.

blondie

is there a legal custody/visitation agreement set? if not, go down the the court house and file for one, simple as that! no judge will take your child away like that. and it will stop her from proceeding with adoption paperwork. they cant do it without your permission or taking you to court and having a judge take your rights away anyways, which isnt going to happen. just calm down. the process can take a while but in the end you will get to see your child again and thats what matters most!

Soon to be mommy!

If your paying child support, your aloud to see your son. I would take it to court, there isn't any reason why you shouldn't be aloud to see him.

almost human

your wife is in violation of your custody agreement.
there is absolutely no way they have any case and she MUST let you see him.

you need to fight for your rights with a lawyer, and you need to do it now before any more time passes and your son begins to feel like you don't care. and it is against the law for one parent to influence a child against the other parent - so document, document, anything that points to that. this is nasty business and you have to be proactive and above reproach.

find some way to contact your son, say the guitar hero was just a misunderstanding, let him know you still love him and that you want to see him and always want him in your life. leave him a note at school if you have to.

even if he doesn't want to see you - it's your right to hear that from him - and not interpreted through his mom.

The Thumbs Down Mean Its Working

Get off the computer right now and get a lawyer. If you've done nothing wrong you shouldn't have any problems. If you haven't violated the terms of the agreement in any way she has no right to tell you you can't see him.

TerraMere

You sound like a good dad. Don't give up on your son just because your ex-wife wants to pretend she was never with you before. Try to stay calm and focus.

- Get an attorney and find out how to best establish and enforce your visitation rights.
- Send a letter, email or text message to your son expressing your love, how important he is to you and that while things have been a tough the last few months you really want to be in his life forever.
- Lastly (this one may be hard) be as civil as you can to your ex-wife. No reason or point in picking a fight with her. That is not to say you should let her walk all over you and prevent you from seeing your son but be calm and professional with her when you speak with her. She could use your angry words with the courts or your son. Don't let that happen.

Good luck and God bless.

~T

BraxOwl

I assume you have been to court, since child support arrangements are inplace. Along with that usually comes custody and visitation arrangements. If she is not adhering to the court orders, then you take her back to court.

You are NOT obligated to sign over your rights so that her new husband can adopt your son. They can not do it without your consent, and the court will not terminate your parental rights based on the information given here.

It is not hopeless, you just have to do something! Visit the family court TODAY and get that something started. A lawyer is not always necessary, but there are ones that work on a sliding scale and ones that offer free consultations.

I hope this helps, and wish you the best!

Lori A

I have heard it done before but am no expert. Quit making child support payments until you get to see your child. That is if you have an agreement in writing. Put the money instead in a separate bank account until all is resolved and you can hand it over. When it goes to court and it will if you stop paying, you can show that the money is there and you are still being responsible for the payments.

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