What would you do if this was you?

If you had a niece who was addicted to drugs and had 2 kids (who live in separate homes) and third on the way....what should happen with the child? The nieces parents do not want the kids, nor does the father or his parents. Would you allow the child to be adopted to a couple who desperately wants a child or would you as the great aunt take custody of the child considering the following: you have a son of your own and 2 grandchildren whom are your whole world, but if you adopted the child you would not have much time for the grandkids anymore because of frequent appointments with drs, lawyers, and childrens services. So would you take custody as the aunt or would you allow the child to go to the state and then be adopted. If you as the aunt chose to adopt please answer the following: How would this affect the grandkids (4 and 7)?
Additional Details
There is no hope for the mother at all. She has been in and out of rehab for years, never staying clean for more than a few hours. If that is even considered clean. The state removed her rights to the other children. One is being raised by her sister-whose children and grandchild who live withher were so upset that 2 moved out and the rest cant wait to move out. the other is being raised by another family member.

cantstopLinnyG

It's always best for a child to be raised by his or her natural family. You obviously care about this child. If the child is adopted by you, there will not be a lot of meetings with children's services or lawyers. You would have just the routine doctor's appointments that any baby would have, unless there is damage because of drugs in his or her system.
I would talk it over with your family.
I would do it. I think at the age of 4 and 7, your grandchildren are old enough to even help out a bit with the baby, and it would be awesome for them to see you raising their cousin.

Stacey

I would adopt the kids. Neighbors of my parents adopted their niece and nephew.
I really don't think it would affect the grandkids much. A lot of grandparents have several grandkids and always find time for them.
My maternal grandfather has over 20 grandchildren.

leila

I think adoption is the best idea. this child will need someone dedicated to her without any other distractions. she may have emotional problems, and physical and emotioal delays as well as educational special needs. Possibly even medical problems. These problems may not be apparent until later and will you have the energy and patience for behavioral problems brought on by the drugs.

IDK!!

I think the grand kids would be excited to have their cousin around.

We adopted a special needs child and have lots of Dr. appointment. I still have time for our daughter and nieces and nephews.

snowwillow20

I don't think you want to adopt them and if you don't then you shouldn't.
It's a sad story all around but the childrens fathers should be responsible for them. They will be traumatized no matter what happens. They are in foster care, their mother can't take care of them, their grandparents and father don't want them, how much more can they take.
Only you and your family can make this monumentous decision and you must do what is best for the kids.

rachael

i cant tell you what to do. you know your life, but i will tell you what i would do.

my 16 year old bro is having a baby with his ex girlfriend. i am mid 30s with 5 of my own and one 'extra' living here. i have a job and a hubby and tons of different school functions. my step son is also bipolar and ADHD, so he is a handful himself.
if ever my future nephew was facing being removed/relinquished from his parents for whatever reason-that baby would come to me.

never ever will i allow my nephew to go anywhere. i dont care what i have going on in my life. he is my family.
this may stem from being adopted. from being separated from my bro and rest of the family for most of my life. but i know in my heart, i would take that baby in. family takes care of their own whenever they can.

i understand if you cant do it. but you have to understand-once its done, there is no turning back.

Real Moms Raise Their Children

I would adopt them too. Keep the kids in the family.

Shame on the mom...

23andmotherof3

WOW! if i were you i probably would try to raise the children myself. As for your grandchildren i would make sure they still have plenty of time with you. God can work miracles!

paralegalbunny

Well, this is a hard situation. Maybe if you tool custody she would straighten up. The problem is if they go to the State they are still not likely to be adopted, especially if any of them are over 2 years old. Although their are people who desperatly want children, adoption is expensive, and it would not even be possible unless she agreed to or the Judge her rights be severed (it would take more than alleged drug abuse for a Judge to do so.) The kids would just sit in foster care to be honest. If you adopted the children, it would put a burden on you and your family and would affect the grandkids. But, after awhile of chaos thing would probably calm down and you could lead a normal life. You might even enjoy having them around!

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best.

Be happy for me

I would run

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