When adopting do you get to choose the child?

Gaia Raain

We are adopting through foster care. The way the process works for us is that our social worker sends us "bulletins" which include a photo, some basic information, and a blurb about the child's needs. My husband and I talk about whether we think our family might be a good place for this child, and we pass on the information to our social worker.

After that, our homestudy is submitted to the child's caseworker. The caseworker then looks through the homestudies that were submitted, and chooses three families that might be good placements for the child. Then, those three families "go to committee", which means the social worker, caseworker, foster parent, and any others involved in the care of the child up to this point, all get together and look over the homestudies of the PAP's. This committee decides which family the child will be placed with.

So, yes you get to decide which children you feel you could parent, but no, you don't get to choose which child gets placed in your home. But the process is different state by state. You will need to check with your local DHS to find out how the process works in your state. Good luck!

Warrior Mom

Well, that's a complicated question. It's certainly not like going to Wal-mart and picking out some item that suits you. When we applied for adoption we filled out forms with every question on it you could imagine. In a way, you do get to choose. You choose age ranges, whether or not you would want a child with disabilities, that sort of thing. And, I suppose you always have the choice when a particular child does become available. But it's really not like choosing the baby you like the best. For us, we just wanted a child. We had no preferences for hair color, or anything else for that matter. And, for us the wait was years. After 4 years of waiting, we decided to become foster parents, and ended up being able to adopt from foster care. Adoption is such a very serious thing. Please don't take it lightly. Adoption is complicated as the adoptees on this site will all tell you.

grapesgum

I believe that in most cases the adoptive parents are presented with a "situation" by the case workers, and the adoptive parents are given the choice of "yes" or "no" in the case that they are presented. As far being presented with with a list of females under the age of 1 year old from which you can choose your "chosen child", I think that is highly unlikely. The demand for young children is far too great. Fortunately, we have gotten past the "How Much is That Doggie in the Window?" adoption scenario.

Heather Leigh

Sure...Haven't you heard of the store Babies R Us? Just go pick out the perfect baby. For the amount you are paying you should get too choose! *sarcasm* (in case you couldn't tell)

Heather B

I had recurring nightmares as a kid about being up on a shelf in a store with a bunch of other babies with the potential adopters walking by 'choosing'

I'd almost forgotten about it until I saw this question. Thanks.

Oh, and No.

shantastic9

i dont think you get to select but you can talk about your preferences. with newborn adoption, i think the birth mother picks you but i dont know how foster care would work. then youre involving a government office so its probably a tossup. you should call an adoption advocacy group, theyll most likely tell you more than one agency or a lawyer will. good luck!

à®áƒ¦Kellyáƒ¦à®

Yes, absolutely. Trust me, you asking if you can choose the child is much, much less worse than someone "returning" a child because it was not what they were looking for.

TotalRecipeHound

If you are adopting internationally, generally, they pick the child for you unless you have certain requirements (such as you already have a girl and want another girl, or as you say a child under 1 vs. an older toddler). Another example is if you are willing to take a medical needs child, but want to choose between different children of medical needs.

In domestic adoption, I don't really know.

stupid people make me laugh!!!

As far as I nkow adoption process involves a lot of choice. Even when adopting from foreign countries there is a lot of choice in the gender and age of the child. I don't think they would ever deny you choices as the system doesn't want kids placed in homes where they weren't wanted so they should give you all the choices you could want.

jm1970

There are NOT plenty of young white girls that need homes....sorry to burst your bubble.

Yes, if you become a foster parent and adopt through foster care you get to chose your child. You can even do a straight special needs adoption through foster care (a lot of people that REALLY want to help a child in need do this..they want to help, but don't feel they can handle loving a child and then losing it later).

You get to read the case files with a social worker and go over history, look at photos and such....

If you're looking for ANY child under the age of a year...get in line and don't hold your breath. I seldom get children that young, and when I do they generally go with family. Actually, a child under 5 without major needs takes a long time, if you want a caucasian child to boot....like a said, don't hold your breath!

I'm not being rude, and I don't think it is awful to want to have a young child, I'm just stating the facts.

There is no promise you will connect with a child. Being a mother is a connection....my mom has 5 kids and has 5 VERY different connections with all of them.

God's angel

yeah

John W

If you are adopting a child you can choose the child you would like to become your child. If you become a foster parent there is no choosing and the agency will attempt to place a child that would hopefully fit your criteria. You are doing a very brave and wonderful thing. I wish you and your husband a world of luck and may you soon have the child you have always wanted. Good things come to good people.

Mommy to 11 month old Jacob

Usually you do get the chance to meet with a prospective child and then "choose" which one you fit best with.

Arsenal FC till death do us part

yes thats kinda the point of adopting

Freckles P

I know a lot of people have to say either yes or no. But that isnt true. If you want to adopt you should go to a Chinese place, most of them let you choose. Try going onto www.lovewithoutbounderies.com. My sixth grade teachers' sister adapted a girl. She got to choose.

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