When is a family too big? Is it fair to adopt this many children?

tickled blue

Hi Freckle Face!

Hmmm....I am always skeptical when I see people with a quarter as many children as these people have through adoption. I didn't get enough info from their own webpage to make an educated opinion. Surprisingly, there is apparently nothing 'bad' to be found on the parents. I found another bio on them from CBS news... http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/07/30/60II/main633151.shtml
It goes into detail on why they are doing this, what they get out of it financially, etc.
I personally believe that--with this many children--it would be difficult to give them the individual attention that they each would need..especially given the fact that 1/2 of them have serious medical problems. However, that being said, it sounds like their children feel that they are available anytime, and that they are extremely supportive parents. They receive 26,000 per month, which sounds like a lot, but since their grocery bills, utilities, mortgage, schooling, gas, vehicles, and helpers add up to a ton of money too, I don't see that they are doing this for the money in any way.
Ugh. To answer your question, it bothers me that CPS would place children with special needs into a home with so many other special needs kids. However, it sounds like these two are doing their very best to take care of and love all of these children. I know that most special needs/disabled children age out of the system, so this is obviously an improvement over that scenario.

reneaumommy

well it looks like it works for them. it looks like they are providing for all for them. If they can handle it go for it. kids need to feel included. it also looks like they have accepted many hard to place children who might not get the chance to "belong" to a family otherwise. glad its them and not me

monkeykitty83

I don't think there's any set standard of how many is too many. It depends on the family and the support system.

I think the test of whether it's fair to adopt this many children is the same as if it's fair to adopt any one of them. Is the family going to be able to provide support, love, unconditional acceptance, and individual attention, as well as providing for basic needs? If so, then yes, it's fair to adopt them. If not, it wouldn't be fair to adopt any child.

Erica Willoughby

it's great that they are opening their hearts to help all these kids

Ka'ra

Wow, that's amazing. If they have the strength and financial resources to raise them all, more power to them!

pookiesmom

Looks to me like they are adequately caring for all these boys, boys who are the least likley to be adopted by anyone else. Would I ever be able to do that?? No way. More power to them for doing what they are.

Maureen S

When there is love in the home, a family is never "too big" or too small. Some couples are able to give love to all who become part of their lives. Adopted children, for the most part, are adopted because of the love parents have to give. I know my five babies, who are now grown adults, were loved from the first moment I held them and they returned my love a hundredth fold. I now have grandchildren and I am sure that this particular family are going to give, and get, the same joy that I had for my children. Love can overcome anything.

niels

All through the 1980's the "Celebration Family" was hailed in the national media for adopting 76 in total. In the early 1990's it all fell apart. Children had been neglected and the Nason's were convicted of racketeering and forgery.

See: http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/20182

I'm skeptical about these type of amateur run institutions.

Moni Mon

If they can handle them all then KUDOS to them.
That is way too many boys for me WOW!!!

teddy8861

If God has put it on their heart to give a family to all these boys I completely support them. Obviously the state feels they are fit to raise them.
I would feel differently if it was a foster home because its the issue of do they really care or do they just want government funding
But with adoption in most cases you pay a fee to adopt. so if they are willing to put their money up to get these kids and continue to provide for them until they a grown and move on their own they have to care. that's not just something you do with out having a passion for caring for children.

IDK!!

Honestly, if I have the money, space, and no need for a job, I think that would be me. Maybe not that many, but as many as wanted to join the family.

piperthegreat

If they have the financial and emotional means then that is great. However it makes me wonder how much individual attention and love each boy is getting. Its hard to bond with all of your kids if there are that many. But i think it is wonderful that they have opened their home to so many children.

Just me!!!

God bless your heart with all them kids and all up in their.

sizesmith

I know a family who has adopted 13 children after their 5 natural children were born. They are VERY happy, well adjusted children. The parents are way more organized than I am, and attend every parent/teacher conference, ball games, piano lessons, and events they can. They are an inspiration and beautiful family.

Crucio

I think itâ€™s really about what someone can handle obviously with this many kids there be outside help from family, church etc. Many of the children in this family may not have been adopted had this couple not adopted them. I give them nothing but praise. I could not see myself with that many kids. For one I question if they would all get adequate one on one time. Though thatâ€™s not really an adoption issue itâ€™s just anyone having numerous children. I question that with any overly large family.

That said reading their website they clearly love all their children, want the best for them and have a lot of outside help. Itâ€™s probably a positive influence for some of their disability children to have a father that is also disabled in a wheelchair. Again some of these boys would probably not have been adopted had this couple not adopted them. It seems their willing to adopt any male child that needs a home regardless of their age, race, and issues they may have.

r s

I have had a lot of mixed feelings about this family and have followed them for years...

first she started out as a foster parent/ group home provider... she met her husband online... he basically is total care himself and has been in the hospital a lot the past 2 years

many agencies would look at that alone and not place any child with them... most state, California included, actually do have limits on the numbr of children under 18 placed in a family... and most have like 4 for a single person and 8 for married couple... special needs usually count more, etc... so less kids can be placed in a home

they do get a lot of money through adoption sub for their children adopted from foster care...

she does seem to be able to get care providers lined up and services for the kids together

but most families would not be able by local regs to do what she is doing (I mean the last 3 months, she has had one kid got to residential treatment, and one get hit by a car, yet added 2-3 kids) most regular foster or adoptive homes would be shut down over any of those issues...

for the children fom private disrupted adoptions she is able to take in, she is also able to get funding for services at least, if not SSI, through going through the courts.... most adoptive families find that impossible,,,

Her cousin runs an adoption agency that keeps her homestudy up to date (that alone is a barrier for many, getting an agency to work with) and I don't know if they did all the homestudies, some of them, or what...

I think her home is better than a nursing home and a group home... and she does support the kids in some way after they move out at 18...

but just because DSS places kids somewhere isn't saying much...

but I think overall, it is not a bad situation in that particular home...

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