When referring to adoption, what does "having a big heart" mean?

grapesgum

Silly me - when I clicked on the question I thought that "having a big heart" was referring to the "selfless angels" who put their feelings aside to give the "gift" of another human being so others can experience the joy of parenthood. Silly me. Adoption and hearts are all about the recipient, not the giver and the gift. There's adoption for ya.

Torrejon

I'm adopted. But, I can say with great certainty that my adad was THE person who loved me most in this life. For him, fankly, the fact that I was adopted just didn't matter. So, my adad had a "big heart."

sunny

Means that the person saying it would never do what they're praising the "big-hearted" person for doing.

BOTZ

Congestive Heart Failure

That's the only "big heart" involved in my adoption (the adoption OF me).

Isabel A

I think you have to have a big heart in order for the baby to be born in it.
Adoptees are born in adoptive mother's hearts right? Isn't that how adoption works?

Yep, that heart would need to be pretty big.

maybe

It means they think adoptees are damaged goods who would have been aborted or thrown in a dumpster, but you are doing them a favor by taking pity on them and allowing them to live in your home.

Poofypoof

I would say that having a big heart means being really caring, generous, sympathetic and loving. Basically knowing no boundaries when it comes to your child, and to be willing to make any sacrifices that might be necessary and ensure that they will have everything they need (especially emotionally).

Jennifer L

Well, to some people having a "big heart" means being compassionate.

To others, it means having a self-centered savior complex.

I suppose it depends on who the AP/PAP is and the perception of the person making the reference.

ETA: Actually, BOTZ, the medical term is cardiomegaly, which is literally an enlarged heart. =D

jessica300

I really can't beat the answer above, but I will try to give you something to hang on to.

Hey, some of us here are ones who lost our babes to people like you, and your asking us????

Number one, we do expect that you will give our child far more than we ever could have - we expect that you will have gone out and tracked down the biggest, fattest, most organic-eatin' turkey you could find to nourish our child.

Number two, while you're reaching around in the "cavity" try to find the heart, give it a good look, and give yourself a pat on the back I guess, 'cause it seems to be what you're looking for.

momma again

ah...having a big heart. such difficult question. i would presume it would mean, one could love unconditionally, without fear, no matter what happens. i would imagine it would mean that although the child did not grow beneath your heart inside of your womb, the love for the child you adopt grows within your heart. it would mean you could put aside negative feelings towards adoption, even from some of your friends, to love a child who is not yours. one that you will love as your own

Mei-Ling

An adoptive parent who is willing to raise the child in an appropriate manner but is still generous to keep the links to country of origin alive.

And yes - that includes any contact if possible with the biological parents.

Indian-vision

aha !! I can't believe i agree with Sunny for once. I would say the same if some one calls an AP or PAP for adopting they simply mean they would be unable to do what the adoptive parent is doing and that is love a child that they did not give birth to as their own.

Ofcourse they mean well but have no clue what adoption is all about.

karcnr

I think this refers more to parents who adopt special needs or foster kids because they aren't sure of the history or have to deal with issues/problems. Big heart means they have lots of love (probably patience too) to bring some uncertainty into their home and love unconditionally.
Anyway, it sounds like a good thing to me.

Jill_01

There are some really cynical people on here...
A big heart means someone who is full of love, compassion, sympathy, empathy, and understanding.
None of those are bad things.
And maybe an AP can't physically know what it's like to give a baby up for adoption, but they can still show love and compassion and try to understand what the mother is going through.
All AP's aren't like what some of these bitter people are saying.

monkeykitty83

Many people not familiar with adoption think it's some kind of burden, or that you always feel like you're raising "someone else's" child. (While it's true that adopted children have two sets of parents, so in a way they are someone else's, I think the people who make this comment underestimate the extent a child can be connected with both. That it's a matter of being someone else's too, not someone else's instead.)

I think they see it as only a blessing for the child, and not for the parent. Personally I think that view is far from accurate, but when people have said that to me, that seemed to be what they were getting at.

ilovee.edward

Someone who cares a lot about something.
So basically,
you have a big heart if you're adopting. Or you should, at least.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: