When will it ever happen?

michael m

My wife and I started talking about adoption in 2001 after I was diagnosed "Cancer Free" by my doctors. A life changing event that caused us both to look at our lives differently than before.
We decided to foster/ adopt through the state child protective services much as your parents probably have done. a year went by while we took classes and gained certification. another year of waiting for CPS to make a move (typical government agency). In 2003 we received a call to foster two boys which we readily agreed to. The social worker called back the next day to say " Oh yeah and there is a little girl also" Three siblings of three different fathers. To compound matters even more, None of them were legally free from their biological parents meaning that court was inevitable. We first met them in June of 2003 the youngest first He was and still is adorable in so many ways. Them we met the older boy and middle child (girl) and we were hooked. No matter what happened from that point on we could not walk away. These children needed our help and we were going to do what even we could for them until we were successful or we were made to stop. We faught in court and gained custody with limited visitation by the biological parents, then in May of 2004 we learned that the court was planning to send them back to the biological parents under the supervision of CPS. I visited the Judge and was told that there was nothing I could do and that I had no say in the matter.
I called a good friend who has connections on a state level and asked for help, (because I felt that putting the children back in the home with the biological parents would be dangerous for the kids). We were successful in getting the case moved to another court where things were less biased. The biological parents lost their perental rights by court order in August of 2004 and we filed for immediate adoption the same day. October 21,2008 makes the forth year since our adoption was final.
My final thought is this; It is not easy to adopt, no one would ever go through the things we went through if they were not commited to doing it. Just about anyone can have a child, but to adopt you have to love them very much, otherwise no child would ever get adopted it is simply to difficult. So take comfort in the fact that someone truly loves you and cares enough. More then 300,000 are still waiting.

Heather B

That sounds odd because there are some 140,000 children in the system.

It sounds as though your parents may have been a little picky or overly specific about the type of child they are willing to foster. Perhaps if they opened their hearts to any child in need of a home, the phone would ring far sooner.

Randy B

Too simple...call them and ask. You wouldn't be the first person to fall through the cracks. There should have been a support worker assigned to you and perhaps that person has changed a few times and the new person overlooked your file.

Heather Leigh

I can only imagine how frustrating this is. But maybe it is a good thing if you don't have a large need for Foster parents in the area you live in. Highly unlikely, but it would be nice if all the kids that needed a home had one.

I would suggest that your parents periodically call their caseworker tat licensed them to check and see if there are any kids in need of a foster home. Sometimes people get overlooked by the Social Workers.

sweetjane

There are MANY AP's who have waited that long. MOST are waiting because they want very specific children. MANY are waiting because they refuse to accept a child who hasn't had both natural parents fully terminated first. Since most children in the system are waiting for court dates to fully terminate parental rights, if your parents are waiting for a child who is fully terminated, they could wait for MANY months. I don't know the specifics of your case, but I DO know that we were in training with 30 potential parents.....and only 10 of us have foster-to-adopt children in our homes. The rest wanted infants or toddlers under age 1 or wanted the child to be free and clear before they took them in.
<<Foster to adopt mommy.

Looney Tunes

Have your parents specified certain ages or races? For example: white kids < 5 years old?

The more specific your parents are, they longer you will wait. There are over 500,000 children in foster care and over 150,000 that need to be adopted....but most are "older" children.

Ask your parents what they asked for?

paula r

I'm sorry, I don't know.It takes a very long time.It can take years.The system is simply broken.There are 2 million families in the US waiting/willing to adopt @ this very moment.So, the statement that there is no where for all these unwanted kids to go is a lie! There are people to take them.The proverbial red tape is the strangle hold in this country.I'll pray for you, that's all I can do.God Bless!

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