When you adopt an infant from a different culture, do you teach them about it?

Corn is not dog food! No wheat!

Why WOULDN'T you teach a child about it's culture?

I'm German.
We have "german traditions" passed down from that side of the family. I also have Swedish, French, Canadian, and Russian ancestors.
They all have rich histories and traditions.

If I had a child, I'd be exposing them to all that just by going about my regular day. If I adopted a foreign child, I think it would be important to learn the language, culture and customs. It's just polite and respectful.

Same if I adopted a white kid, or a black kid (african american). I'd want to learn as much of his background as possible, and make sure he knew it.

I really object to the statement "...Aside from biology..."
Aside from biology, we're MONKEYS.
Aside from biology, we're dogs.
Aside from biology, we're bacteria.

BIOLOGY IS DANG IMPORTANT!

It's what seperates us from the animals, and it's what makes us who and what we are. You can't just toss that aside.

EDIT TO ADD:
It wouldn't be about making the adopted child seperate. The WHOLE FAMILY would participate in the cultures and heritage of the adopted child. It wouldn't be weird, it would be part of the day.
Example: (Sorry it's the only one coming to mind)
Chinese New Year.
If I had a Chinese kid, THE WHOLE FAMILY would celebrate Chinese New Year with the foods, festivals, and different things they do. They would also participate in the "Western New Year" with the ball dropping in Times Square, staying up and making noise right at the stroke of midnight, etc.

It wouldn't be about the specific child. It would be about what sorts of things our family did together, what we found to be important, what it means to be in our family.

Heather B

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child:

Article 30: Children of â€œethnic, religious or linguistic minorities â€¦ shall not be denied the right to enjoy his or her own culture â€¦ religion or â€¦ language.â€

drkangel210e

You must talk to them about their heritage. Please don't tell them they are no more (fill in the race) than their parents are. If we lived in a perfect world, race wouldn't matter. As it is, people are nasty and kids need to know about the positive aspects of their culture of origin to be able to combat it.

I am half Brazilian and half Swedish. For the most part, it's only obvious that I'm not completely white when I've been out in the sun, or if you're familiar with the facial features/hair type/body type associated with Latinas. My light skin color during the winter throws people off, and I get to hear all of the racial slurs. What's worse is that I didn't know I was half Latin American until I was 15 and saw information about my parents. I always wondered why people would come up to me and start speaking Spanish or Portuguese.
My dad used to make comments about Mexicans or Spanish speaking people that weren't very nice. When I found out I was half Latina, it upset me. He thought of me as his daughter, and never thought about how his words would hurt me later in life.
There are so many good things that go along with being half Brazilian and half Swedish. Some of the most attractive women in the world come from these countries, and they both have interesting histories. I would have loved to have learned Spanish as a child. Just be a little bit understanding of other people's feelings. You're an adult, they're a child. Leave your assumptions at the door and do what's best for them.

***In answer to your second post: no, it would not make them feel more alienated as long as you don't obsess on it of they're not interested. it's about acknowledging it and making their heritage a positive thing instead of a divisive thing. It can be something you learn about together. At some age they might become disinterested in it, and then you can drop it. They just need to have the information so that they don't feel like it's something negative or that it can't/shouldn't be talked about.

wynn

I wasn't going to answer because I adopted older children, not infants. You've got good answers why children should know about their culture, but I understand your question about "won't it make them feel more separate?".

My mom is Asian, so I'm half Asian as well. I look completely like my father's side of the family, so no one would ever guess that I've got any Asian blood. Actually, people are skeptical. And rude. I know my mother's culture. I grew up on stories of my mom's home country, I ate the food she cooked, I understood some of the language. Yet any time I mentioned it to someone who was also from that country I'd get the cold look up and down followed by the cold shoulder. I'm not Asian enough. That made me feel different, and separate from my mother's side of our family.

When I adopted a child of a different ethnicity I knew it wasn't just about him fitting into our culture, I had to make as sure as I could that he would still fit into his (first) family's culture. I will not be responsible, if I can help it, for him being snubbed by people from his country of origin. I want it to be his choice who he is friends with, I don't want him to feel like I took that choice away by neglecting to keep that connection.

We are in touch with our children's families and when we bring them back to visit, we don't want them to be complete foreigners. We want their families to know that we respected them enough to try to keep what bonds we could.

Also, the whole family is learning both of our children's languages. It isn't just one child going to this class and two to that. We all learn together and moan about the difficulty together, so I don't think it makes us separate. Actually, it's kind of neat because even though we're not fluent, we can talk privately in front of other people by using words that no one outside our family understands.

kateiskate

Well I grew up the only Korean in a white family, and I was pretty much the only Korean I knew. My parents didn't do the best job introducing me to my culture. They basically raised me the same way they would have raised a biological child had they had one. I feel that I would have liked to have them teach me a little more about my culture, but on the other hand, yes I would have felt more separated and alienated by too much of it. I think there is a way to do it right, I'm just not personally sure what it is. All of that being said I do think you should know where you came from and that your family should help you as much as they can in your journey to find that out. Yes, I am a member of their family, and I love them dearly, but I was born in Korea and denying that would be stupid. Without me being born in Korea I would have never joined the family and that deserves respect, don't you think?

Another thing my parents will never understand that people of my own race would empathize with are the racist remarks people have made to me. My mom wasn't adopted and never will know how much it used to hurt to hear people say "That's not your mom, she doesn't look like you" or people tell me to "take my slanty eyed a$$ back to where I came from" or for people to tell me I'm not American. As much as she loves me she can't understand what any of those things feel like the way I do. As much as they consider me "as white as they are" they don't hear those things from people, do they?

Sherry S

I think you should teach them about their culture. They are going to be able to look in the mirror and see that they are different, and it just seems like if you make it a point to NOT teach them about their culture of origin, you are turning that difference into something to be ashamed of. Also, schools celebrate diversity and sometimes have kids do projects on their heritage and whatnot. I think I would feel kind of weird having to explain to my classmates that, while I was born in Korea, I don't know anything about their customs or traditions.

Besides, instead of looking at it as a reason for your child to feel separated from the family, you could be looking at it as a way for the family to bond.

Angela R

We adopted both of our children from Korea, they were both 6 months old when they joined our family. We are very commited to keeping them connected to their birth culture, it's part of who they are, and I think it's very important.

I understand what you're saying about them feeling "different" from us, but I think it can be harmful to their self image to just pretand they aren't Korean and say "you're American now, your Korean ancestery and culture aren't important". We try to celebrate their birth culture as a family, so that they don't feel excluded, such as attending Korean festivals, cultural activities, celebrating Korean holidays together, and we plan to take Korean language classes together as a family when they're a little older.

I also think it's important to get them around other children and adults the "look like them", and find positive Asian-American role models. We would never say "you're Korean, so you HAVE to take Tae Kwon Do classes and eat Kimchi!", but we also don't want them to feel like their birth culture is something to be ashamed of, and feel different from every person they know. I know a few Korean-American families who's children were born and raised in the US, and their parents still think it's important for them to have a connection to their Korean culture too. Again, despite the fact that they are now Americans being raised by caucasian parents, being Korean is a part of who they are, and I want them to be proud of that.

Santa's Lil' Helper

It is ironic that most biological parents teach their children little to nothing of their ancestry. I suppose ignorance is only accepted when you have a "biological" connection.

Most adoptive parent are affluent and better educated.
Therefore they have the means and the motivation to preserve a child's culture.

.She Lyyk A Stahh.

Of course. You should definently tell them. If you don't there just going to be living a life of lies and they won't know who they are. Teaching them about where there originally from and where they are now. It doesn't matter about the difference or similarities in the countries. As long as the child knows who they are and where they came from.

Lillie

I would encourage you to read blogs by people who were adopted from overseas.

Read their words, really understand how they feel about losing their cultures.

Perhaps then you will understand why it is important to teach adopted children about the culture they were born to and to honor that, and to do more than take them to the Chinese Buffet on Thursday nights.

Linny G

Umm, yea. He IS Korean. You cannot just "erase" or forget about who and where you came from when you are adopted. These issues are even MORE important when you are a different race than your a a p's

What if the child is black? Is he "no more black" than his white a p's? That is an incredibly racist way to think. The child does not magically morph into a WASP.

It doesnt matter where the child is from, the child will always be different than his parents. Its called DNA and its a force to be reckoned with. People with an attitude such as yours should NEVER be permitted to adopt.

Gabs

I cannot talk from personal experience, but I have contemplated also the possibility of adopting a child not from my cultural heritage (Spanish). I think that if you have biological children, they would greatly benefit for learning about a different culture, and your adopted child would feel more integrated since he/her has something different and new to contribute to the family. Although, in fact, it would be you and your efforts the real contributors, because what your adopted child will know about his culture of origin is going to depend on your knowledge of it. Learning about other cultures, either you have an adopted child or not, is always enriching.

KP19633

My parents are adopting a little girl from China (they leave tomorrow morning to go to China and will be gone for two weeks, then bring her home) and they are for sure teaching her about her culture. I would want to know if I were adopted from a different Country about that country. My parents are taking tons of pictures and videos while they are there, and they aren't going to hide anything from her. (she doesn't know her mother because she abandoned her when she was bron-she is 18 months right now) and when she is old enough, they plan on taking her back to China so that she can see where she really came from. I think that this is important that she knows where she is from, and her culture. My parents even learned Chinese so that they could of course understand the language when they are there, but also so that they can teach the little girl her native language.

girl

Yes, i think you should explain to them as they get older that you adopted them. Teach them about where they were born, basic Information on the culture, country and it's people. Don't need to follow the country's religion. Teach him your morales and religion if that's what you want. treat him no differently then you'd treat a biological child or white adopted child.

*me*

I would. I would also love to adopt someday. I think they deserve to know where they came from. It will always be a part of them. They should be proud of their heritage, and know as much as possible. And also get to go back and visit some day.

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