Where do we stand?

thunderchic111

There are two ways to go about it. Even if you don't put the real fathers name on there and you go forward as soon as the baby is born then the judge will make you petition the father to sign away his rights. Which would be easy if the father consents. Or you can wait til the baby is six months old and take away the fathers rights to the baby if he has made no effort to contact or support the child. In this case, the father wouldnt even have to be notified, you would just go to court and tell the judge you want his rights terminated and the baby adopted to the other man all at one time. If you don't think that the father will contact you before six months than this would be the easiest way to go. First of all, I would have a free consultation with a family attorney to make sure of what you need to do because laws are different in different states.

julie j

Hi Poeticveins,

My advice would be to not list a different father than the child's actual biological father on the birth certificate.

Speaking as an adoptee, I know the difficulties this will present to the child over his/her lifetime. How you feel about the child's father or even how he feels about his own child will never change the fact that he is connected to the child forever. Falsifying a birth certificate can deceive a child of his/her true heritage, medical information, ethnicity, extended family, etc. Those are birthrights that neither parent should be allowed to take away from a child.

Having said that, it does not mean that your child does not deserve a father figure in his life. Every child deserves love and being cared for. It is fortunate you have somebody who can provide that for your child. I'm saying do it honestly and always be straightforward with the child as to his/her true parentage. You don't mention how long he will be in prison. A pregnancy can seem abstract in the beginning. Some men feel differently about a baby once it's here.

To answer your question, yes to be done legally, you do need the permission of the natural father. He would need to sign parental relinquishment papers. Remember, at some point in the future, your child is going to want and/or need information regarding his/her natural father. It would be in the child's best interest to maintain contact with the extended family if at all possible. Please make an effort to do that. I cannot tell you how much that will mean to your child someday. It will not take away from the love that you and your new partner give the child. It ADDS to the love. There can never be too much love in a child's life.

If you decide to allow your new partner to legally adopt your child, be advised that he will forever have the same rights to your child that YOU do, regardless of what transpires in the future between the two of you. Again, please be honest about his natural father and let the child make his/her own judgements when they grow up.

Good luck, & thanks for asking.

julie j
reunited adoptee

Possum

I completely agree with Julie J.
All children deserve to know their truth.
Please don't start making up lies even before the child is born.
Your new partner will most likely be a great dad to this child - one of two fathers that this child will then have.
That is this child's reality.
Genetics are a very important link.
Don't deny this child those links.
I wish you all the best.

Santa's Lil' Helper

Consider answering to your child when they are an adult as to why you did not tell him/her who their father was.

Evil Genius Kat

I think if the father knows he will have to sign over rights to this child if he doesn't he could fight it in court. To be sure though you may want to consult with a lawyer.

Away With The Fairies

My biggest concern here is the very short time you have been with your new partner. I realise you now think he's 'wonderful' but I bet you thought that about your ex at first eh?? Your brain is clearly addled right now as you've got a hell of a lot on your plate but I urge you to think of the future of your child and please don't rush into putting anyone on the birth certificate unless you're absolutely certain they truly will be a father to your unborn baby. I'm not suggesting for one minute that your new partner isn't a fantastic person (he certainly sounds like a good guy) but you can add him later once you know each other better, if necessary. Best of luck to you and yours.

snowwillow20

You can name your child anything you want, your last name or you baby's father's last name or your new guy's last name.

I'm not sure the legality's of lying on the BC.

As far as adopting goes, you need to see and lawyer and your ex needs to sign away his rights.

Maybe is you hadn't told anyone about your pregnancy you might have been able to get away with putting your partners name on the BC, but it would be unethical.

Everyone needs to know where they come from and who they look like.

lois_lenski88

As long as your current partner is present at the registering of your son he can be on the birth certificate but the biological father could contend this through lawyers. If you don't think him or his family would do this then you could go for that option. Considering adoption, it would probably be best as you wont be looking over your shoulder expecting the biological father to be wanting some kind of involvement, b ut he would have to sign over his rights. I think grandparents have rights but they don't seem too concerned having contacted you just once...maybe it's best to talk to them about it too...not legally but morally. Think about whether you would let them have access to the child, if they have some kind of access they should have no objections whatsoever.

Bouvier

The biological father's name needs to be on the birth certificate "if you know him". It is possible to say that you do not know that information, however, if your partner is considering adopting your child, the biological parent's rights need to be relinquished. Basically, if you say that you do not know who the father is, the court will have an agency or attorney place ads in local papers trying to contact the father (they state info/description of situation, you, child, and wait for a response. That can take up to 6 months. Meaning, once ad is placed and all is finalized. Good luck to you, you should feel blessed that you have such a great partner who supports you.

â˜†Yummyâ˜†Mummyâ˜†

Hi, as long as your current partner agrees to his name going on the birth certificate you's can go ahead and do that.

As for the adoption which will be a step parent adoption you MUST be married to your current partner, there is no point in explaining the whole procedure to you if you aren't married as the law will not allow the adoption to go ahead until you are married

Contact your local social services department and explain your situation to them, they will inform you that you must be married and to contact them about 6 months after the marriage has taken place and they will send you out the relevant forms

NOTE* If your parnter is on the birth certificate he is classed as the childs legal father, you do not need to say anything to the registrar, she will be none the wiser, problems will only occur if your ex demands to see your child in the future and this will open up a whole can of worms, speak to him and see if he has any objections to your partner being named on the certificate

PLEASE TAKE MY ADVICE........tell your child from day one that your parnter is not his biological 'father', too many children are being lied to and this will cause multiple problems when he/she is older, if they know from day 1 they grow up knowing the facts and it shouldn't be a problem

Good luck, I hope everything works out for you, it sounds like you have the perfect man looking after you

Kate x

Rose W

put your new partner on birth certificate and be happy.

De T

If you get married before you have the baby, your new husband will be the legally assumed father. Problem solved.

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