Which one are you the adopted or the birth giver?

luckyturtle

I am an adult reunited adoptee and soon to be adoptive mother. I have been reunited for 20 years.

cruzgirlz3

Adopted, searching. Just got my Original Birth Certificate last week.

BOTZ

I am an adult woman (36 years old) who was adopted as an infant. My MOTHER and I have been reunited for 4 years. My FATHER and I, for 3 years. My PARENTS (the ones that adopted me) are very happy for us in our reunions and they have NEVER been so unkind as to speak unkind, hateful, or demeaning words about -- or to -- my NATURAL parents.

Mei-Ling

I'm a transracial adoptee.

Been in online reunion for 2 years.

Felicita1

"birth giver" huh? -- you must have read Marietta Spencer's "Positive Adoption Language" work as this is one of the terms she recommends (along with birthmother and gene donor) to ensure that we're NOT considered mothers.

As for your list, i am "NONE of the above" as I am a mother. NOT a "broodmare," "birthmother," "gene donor," "birther" or "birth giver" -- all of which mean a former mother or woman who was a mother for birthing purposes only and can now be conveniently cast away.

In summary, I am a mother who has reunited with my lost son and adopted him back. I never ceased being his mother and this is his opinion as well.

By using an insulting term such as "birth giver," you look like you have a huge amount of anger towards your natural mother and having been surrendered.

ETA

to take your argument to its logical conclusion: if your mother is a "birth giver" then that would make you a "birth product," "product of conception," or "unit of uterine output." That is what reducing two people's relationship to the event of "birth" implies.

Heather Leigh

Birth Giver?? Are you serious? How insulting to first mothers that did so much more than just give birth.

If that is the case, I am a "birth giver" to two children and the "adopter" to another. I am raising all three of them.

I understand that you may have issues with your own first mother, but please don't insult others out of your anger towards her.

Mary G

Birth giver? Are you serious? How demeaning and offensive to mothers of all kinds. I am a mother (always was and always will be) and have been reunited for three years now. Since you seem to not understand that the words you used are offensive (I will give you the benefit of a doubt) Call us mothers, first mothers, natural mothers if you must, but please do not use phrases such as Birthmother, or birth giver, they offend not only we the mothers, but our adult children as well. I am not trying to be mean or nasty but when you use words like that, you relegate mothers (and adoptees) to a place where we are nothing more than an incubator for others and you make our children into products..

LaurieDB

I was adopted. I have been reunited for 7 years.

Andraya

I am a reunited adult adoptee AND a first mom. Reunited with my first family 10 years ago and waiting 4 more years to reunite with my son.

ETA

I'm pretty sure the use of the term "birth giver" was meant to be inflammatory... I'd voice more on the subject but much like Stinky Pete I have to go do a few rails before I light up my glass pipe and let the droves in to fornicate with me for $$$

JennaBear

I'm an adopted birthee.
I am also an adult.

PhilM

I'm a birthee. (I mean, if you are going to demean our origins, that reflects on us, after all. So I guess we are both "birthees.")

I have reunited with my mother.

Mom to Foster Children

As I agree with the most here - the term birth giver makes my stomach turn.

My son's (who we are trying to adopt) Mother is his Mother and so am I!

Jennifer L

Wow! "Birth giver" is a new one. I find it extremely insulting and I'm neither an adoptee or a first mother. My children's first mother did a LOT more than give birth to them!

I'm a parent. One child is from my body, so I guess that makes me a "birth giver", since I gave birth to him. I'm an adoptive parent. I am also a "Birthee" since I was born.

Lucy Deana

adopted teen, searching.
and birth giver? totally the wrong word to use!

Camira B

Wow. I would have so much to say except everyone's already said it. I'm a "birth giver" who will hopefully be raising her "birthee" soon. God, some people...

Stinky Pete

I guess that makes me a birth giver or breeder. Oh well off to smoke my huge stash of crack. I hope the 50 guys I'm sleeping with don't slow down my smoking. Just when I think it can't get worse someone like you proves it can

Lee S

I am the birth or "biological" mother of an adopted child that is now 18. We have not been reunited or had contact but I do hope that one day she decides to contact me.

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