Which view of natural mothers is more widely held?

cantstopLinnyG

What Sunny, Heather, and all the other realistic people said.
#1 while the ap's are trying to adopt

#2 while the adoptee is asking about or searching for their first mom- except the first moms are called uneducated, selfish trollups with a drug problem

rrss3405- you are an ap through the "miracle" of adoption???? one woman's "miracle" is another woman's nightmare...Guess you tell your child he or she was "chosen", too? shudder.....

kateiskate

When paps are trying to adopt a baby, number one.

When those adopted kids are seeking their roots, number two..

Heather B

(1) During the planning stages and whilst the mother is still pregnant;

(2) Once the ink is dry on the paperwork

It's a mess.

(1) is more harmful in my opinion

myst1998

I was about to reply exactly the same as Heather...

1... before the papers are signed

2.... after the papers are signed

Option 1 is very coercive in itself as mothers don't want to do what others think is the wrong choice if it is supposedly going to hurt her baby so I would say it is the most powerful and harmful... Option 2 is what people think regardless, they just don't tell you until after the adoption is final.

Gaia Raain II

Depends on what's convenient for the moment.

"My darling sweet precious baby, your mother was a wonderful, selfless woman who sacrificed you on the altar of adoption for ME. But don't you go trying to find her now, I hear she did drugs and would sue her own grandmother if she could get away with it."

Dan B.

i always hear the crack head living in a trailer thing

Little Mama

Number 1.

sunny

What Heather said.

wholelottacats

I think you are missing a third option. Since bringing home my son, when people ask me questions (that I don't answer, BTW) this is what I hear:

She's a crazy lunatic who is going to realize what she has done and now stalk you and get high on drugs, get the degenerate, criminal father and they'll come to your house and kidnap the baby - how can you possibly keep in contact with her, give her your real name and want her to have contact with your son?

Indian-vision

I personally continue to be thankfull to our child's birth mother and hold the first view.

But when people talk to me about her i can say they hold view no:2 and i have to shut them up.

Penny A (Vanessa)

In my experience, other people's views tend to hover between the two extremes you mentioned above. Either way, I don't care what they think. I'm the one that has to live with it and take responsibility for the outcomes of it.

School Nurse

I don't think EITHER view is the most widely held belief. I think most rationally thinking adults believe that the young woman/girl finds herself in an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy and for reasons all her own, doesn't want to or is unableto or isn't ready to parent the child and makes a decision that SHE believes is best for herself and the child. Plan and simple.

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