Which voice is heard the most in the adoption triad?

Freckle Face

Dear Mei-Ling,

Ap's definitely.

It should be the adoptee's voice heard most because adoption is all about them.

Second in line first mothers. Everyone needs to have compassion and hear their stories the good, the bad and the ugly.

Lastly the aparents. Why? because without mothers and adoptees there would be no adoption.

Thanks for this question:)

magic pointe shoes

None, it's the ever prevalent part of the triad that the diagram that isn't shown. The loudest voice comes from the adoption industry smothering out all other voices.

Kassy

On the internet and in the media, it seems to me that adoptive parents are far and away the most represented voices.

I think perhaps the media prefer to focus on the tv-movie-of-the-week story of a family formed through adoption. It sells. Heck, when I did my adoption I got a call from the local paper. One of my coworkers apparently tipped them off to a great story for their lifestyle section. I was horrified and turned them down, but I see those stories all the time. Stories of first moms trying to get their baby back or having their adoption closed, or stories of disgruntled adult adoptees probably don't sell papers or bring in advertising.

I believe that everyone should be heard. I believe that the people who are open to hearing and accepting viewpoints that are new to them will find out what others have to say in spite of the media.

Gaia Raain

MPS stole my answer. Second runner up (but way far behind them) is AP's. Until I came here, I never heard directly from adoptees who were unhappy...which didn't make much sense to me, because I figured it couldn't be the happiest situation to be in, growing up with a strange family and not knowing your own. But I sure did hear a lot from AP's.

aloha.girl59

I see Magic Pointe Shoes's point, but I'm still gonna say the APs are heard the most. Or at least they're the loudest!
"I want a baby!"
"I want a baby!"
"I want a baby!"
And the adoption industry is listening...and counting their money.

Independ"ant"

Not to be facetious....but in the big picture it has been from those that are speaking up or on behalf of the source of the almighty $$$$$$$.

Take Guate for example....why has it been halted/stalled...Unicef paying big bucks. Go on Ap/Pap support boards and read posts by them complaining in the earlier part of the year about Unicef "bribing?" the Guate govt to clean up the racket.

In the US...Adoption is not looked at like the saintly loving thing to do as it was even 5 years ago. It is now looked at like its an option for infertility.

sunny

Well, I'd say it is the APs, since they're in the position with the power, but then you'd just tell me to take it easy on the poor parents.

jessica300

In infant adoption, those who have the bucks: APs

I think this because they are the clients of the adoption agencies/facilitators/lawyers. If they didn't exist the adoption agencies/facilitators/lawyers wouldn't have incentive to work on separating mothers and infants. This goes for domestic and international adoption.

I truly wish that more mothers who lost their children to adoption would speak up, but I think that they are 1) too scared of losing their children with whom they are in a reunion 2) too focused on how to make the current reunion work 3) too afraid to come out of the closet - the guilt, shame, and unknown keep them slaves to an abuse that happened to them when they were vulnerable young mothers (it's similar to rape only much, much worse.)

Anha S

The PAP and AP's. The industry wouldn't have anyone to serve if there wasn't a very large demand for its services.

I think adoptees and first mothers need to be heard more and more, and not dismissed as anger and bitterness. We have very real stories to tell, very real experiences, and its hard for me to not feel that there is a portion of AP who stick their head in the sand and swear up and down that their adoptee won't feel as some of us do, thus any and all negativity must be immediately dismissed. Thus the hugs, puppies, ponies and rainbows views of adoption out there.

Sly

Everyone speaks of a triad, but that is clearly not appropriate. There are really only 2 sides in this, the winners (agencies and APs and PAPs) and the losers, the adoptees and their mothers. One side has power, one side doesn't. The side with the power is the side that gets heard.

More and more mothers are speaing out, but when we do there is someone who calls us angry and bitter. Obviously, people are very threatened by the message of the mother.

I believe that the LEAST heard side is the mothers side, the side of the ones who have nothing to gain from any of this.

bubba

Mad adoptee types

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