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celtic.piskie
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Whoever puts their needs before the childs'.
No-one can say it's always this or always that.
Adoption is not selfless, selfless is sacrificing everything so you can have your child.
Nothing is always anything.... it's always a matter of situation.
But selfish means putting your needs before others.
If you think of the child, then neither is selfish.
Through my experience, I'd rather terminate a pregnancy than give up a baby for adoption. I couldn't put my child through what I went through.
But I would never, ever want to make that choice. They can do either of those over my dead body. |
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sunny
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Both.
I think people who are not in a place to raise a child are selfish to be irresponsible with their reproductivity. This includes men. |
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Angelina K
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I don't believe that either is about being selfish as much as it is a personal choice that she feels she made in the best interest of everyone involved. Some women, even some that are close friends of mine, have had abortions because they knew they couldn't parent and they knew themselves well enough that they couldn't give their babies up once they bonded with them through pregnancy.
I believe in different strokes for different folks and whereas I may get a million "thumbs down" for this answer, it doesn't change the fact that women will continue to do what they feel they need to do. |
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Michelle
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Why is the one that aborts selfish.
Scenario for you all......
A woman was told that she had severe complication. If this woman kept the baby, it could possibly lead to death for her and the baby. This woman had 2 small kids already. What would you do??
Yes this woman is me!!!! I never wanted to leave my babies without a mummy if I could help it!! |
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LaurieDB
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These are such unique decisions. Abortion is not the flip side of adoption. The decisions come at very different times -- abortion is a pre-birth decision and relinquishment to adoption is ultimately a post-birth decision, as relinquishment cannot legally occur until after the birth.
The flip side of aborting a pregnancy is carrying to term and subsequently giving birth. The flip side of relinquishing to adoption is parenting. Relinquishment to adoption and abortion cannot be adequately compared. |
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Looney Tunes
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The bio-parents that because of their behaviors cause their children to wind up in foster care.
Those are the most SELFISH people out there, because their original behaviors hurt the kids and then being in foster care ***** up the kids. |
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101wife&mommy
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I am against abortion. I think if a woman can't take care of her baby for whatever reason, adoption is best. |
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MamaKate
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I think it is MOST "selfish" to feel that one has the authority, right or personal "sinlessness" to be able to judge the choices made by a woman about her OWN body and child - ESPECIALLY from an outside and general position. |
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ibubble101
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EXCUSE ME???
thats a horrible question.
Abortions should always be an option. if a 10 year old gets raped 1 cant raise baby cant give birth to another LIFE at 10 and it should always be an option.
adoption is if someone does not beilve in abortion and should give the child away to a BETTER HOME i could go on for days.
but how dare you ask a retarded quesiot like that. |
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elaeblue
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The one who aborts. The other is making the greatest sacrifice a woman can make - letting the child go for its own best interests. |
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sally
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I am adopted and I will always be grateful to my biological mother for the selfless act of giving me up for adoption. I am glad that she loved me enough to give birth to me and give me a family who could care for me. Abortion is an act of desperation and is misunderstood to be quick fix. It is a decision that stays with you forever. When you give a baby up for adoption you become the hero in a bad situation. Abortion is death and it brings no peace to a desperate heart. |
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a healing adoptee
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again why do people have to compare adoption with abortion? It's like you are beating us over the heads with the phrase " you could of been aborted." Duh! Don't i know that. I just hate it that people have to use this in regards to adoption. Everyone that is involved with adoption has their own seperate feelings and issues with it. Adoption is there, people use it. Abortion is there and people use it. Who cares! If you are an adoptive parent just be thankful that you have your kid, instead of saying things like this. |
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tish
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this is too complex and nuanced for a simplistic answer.
ps. why do people keep comparing adoption and abortion? |
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snowwillow20
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Selfish to whom? No matter which choice a woman makes she will always regret the desicion she made and have to live with the guilt. I don't know which would be worse, killing the baby or giving the baby away as I only gave mine away and it has been many years of guilt and depression. |
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jhtmom
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A mother who aborts is way more selfish, she is doing what is best for her, I am not 100% against abortions I would never be able to have one but not all women feel the same as I do. You are the only one that benifits from an abortion. At least with an adoption your child has choice to make in life, and a life to live. I think this is the most unselfish thing a mother can do. Because she is not trying to run from the fact that she is pregnant but she is making the choice any good parent makes, to keep her child safe and make sure he/she has a great life, even if she is not the one to give it . |
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janmorena2009
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i think that god is letting us borrow his children for us to take care of why would we abort them, its like if you let a person care for your child and they decided to kill it because they couldnt take care of it. i feel its wrong, honestly i think giving it up for adoption is wrong too, a REAL mother will do anything she can to care for her children, whatever it takes even if it meens the mother starving for her children to eat. but if the situation was so bad that i just couldnt feed em i would rather give up the child for adoption and let someone else care for em the way i would have wanted to. I would never abort, you become a mother as soon as that baby is in your belly, that baby feels you it loves you your the only thing it knows, and then just aborting it when you where the only thing it trusted i feel is wrong, its like taking your newborn and killing it, just cuz you cant see em doesnt meen he isnt there. |
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DarthFangNutts
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I'm not going to put any religious inuendos into this discussion, so base purely on non-religious thoughts...
There is no "cut-n-dry" answer as to which is more or less selfish. Each case has it's own reasons for being, one of which is religious reasons. All things being equal, if the mother that aborts is only aborting because it's an "oops" pregnancy and there are no other external factors (i.e. rape) and the mother that does not abort did not abort because they thought the baby deserved a chance to live and be with a loving family (not because of religion), then I would say the more selfish is the one that aborts. Only because you did the crime (get pregnant), but couldn't live through life and do the time (knowing your birth child is some else's child). |
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â€Bugseyâ€
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A mother who adopts out her child is the most SELFLESS person. |
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Crucio
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Michelle your situation is completely different in my opinion. That is one of the few situations in which I would support an abortion. I think this question is more aimed at someone just getting an abortion no health dangers / no rape ,aside that its just inconvenience to them for whatever reason.
If at all possible I would always choice life over death. I’d rather place a baby for adoption then to kill the child. It did not ask to be conceived. One can say it didn’t ask to be adopted either but again its Life vs. Death. I believe everyone here has a perhaps even those who have been aborted. Who knows maybe some mother aborted the person who was destiny to find the cure to aids, or destined to invent something spectacular. Abortion as some have said only benefits the mother; it does not benefit the child at all. Except perhaps they go straight to heaven and don’t have to live in this messed up world. But again I believe everyone is sent here for a reason. |
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AdoreHim
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The mother that aborts her child, of course. When a mother aborts her child, she is thinking about herself. The mother who places for adoption is the most unselfish woman in the world. I am adopted and also have 2 adopted children- and I can tell you, it took the most selfless kind of love to be able to place their babies in the arms of someone else.
EDIT- and for a mother who says that she is doing what is best for herself by abortion= really has no clue what an abortion can do the her. And it also never ceases to amaze me that someone that thinks that life is precious and should not be aborted would get any thumbs down at all, oh well!! |
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RACER _X Lord Sith
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Only God gives us the life, in my opinion a mother that aborts is making a crime. |
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Mom to Foster Children
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Personally I believe the one who aborts the child. At least the other mother in your senerio is giving the child a chance to live. |
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josephsharka
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am against abortion. I think if a woman can't take care of her baby for whatever reason, adoption is best. |
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diamo
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The one who aborts her child. Most LIKELY it's because of her own best intrests...."not ready" "not enough time" "wants to go to school with no responsibility" etc..
Adoption is the ultimate sacrifice. Women who give up thier child for adoption I have a HUGE HUGE respect for.
Abortion people..I'm sorry but you have about 75% of respect if you regret it...if you don't you have about 0.01%. Sorry, but thats me.
Adoption is giving her baby a chance at life and giving him a better home instead of murdering him at birth.
AND ANY MOTHER OR WOMAN who chose to kill her child rather than "feel bad" for the rest of her life because she gave up her child...ITS STILL SELFISH. I would RATHER let my child LIVE than kill it just bc I would have a hard time getting over it......
Everyone deserves a chance at life.
***I agree with the lady above me 100% |
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truebluepatsgirl
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If the woman/girl who is pregnant is choosing because she simply doesn't want to be a mother, then abortion is more selfish.
Adoption, on the other hand, is not at all. The woman realizes that she could not parent the baby now and also realizes that there are thousands of couples out there who cannot have children and would love the opportunity to raise her baby. So she carries the baby for 9 months, suffering all the horrible (and wonderful) side-effects of pregnancy and then hands over her child (the fruits of her 'labor') to someone else...THAT is the portrait of UN-selfishness |
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