Who thinks adult adoptees conceived by incest or rape should have fewer rights than other adoptees?

PhilM

Apparently, many people argue that we must seal records of all adoptees because those conceived by incest or rape may actually harm their first mothers. The reasoning (if that's the right word) is that these women, traumatized by what has happened to them, need to be protected from all mention of the event ever again. If a child once relinquished, now an adult, found his or her mother's name, that child may use the information to TRACK DOWN the mother. This victim would then be re-traumatized by having the memory of the event resurface, embodied in the adult before her.

Better to keep the adoption records of all adoptees sealed than re-traumatize a few victims of rape or incest.

That's the argument. Of course, the argument makes many, many bad assumptions. It assumes victims of rape or incest never heal from their trauma; in other words, it effectively infantilizes women who happened to be victims of these crimes, and suggests that they need to be protected from the world. Further, it assumes that adoptees are out to HUNT DOWN their relatives and will become stalkers if given information about their past, this is both false, and essentially provides a permanent restraining order against the adoptee WITHOUT ANY DUE PROCESS, essentially criminalizing all adoptees.

There is no good way to give other adoptees access to their records while at the same time withholding records from the adoptees mentioned in the question. Nor should we want such an option. All citizens deserve the same rights and protections under the law.

But this - incredibly bad - argument is one of the main ones used against all adoptees.

SingingCrab7

It is never the fault of the victim, the blame lies with the rapist. There is absolutely no reason an adoptee conceived by incest or rape should have fewer rights than anyone else. The adoptee did not do anything wrong, the person who raped their mother (or father) is the one in the wrong, the one who should be punished, not their child - the product of this crime.
Love and Light

Ghost Writer Rides Again

While I know if I had been raped, I would have aborted. A woman who can put herself thru being pregnant from such a manner is a courageous one. The child did not wrong. Treating them differently because of how they were concieved is ridiculous. Adopted or not. And just because they were the product of rape and relinquished for adoption does not give them less of a right to find out where they came from. How hard is it for the natural mother to politely say she wants nothing to do with them? The government has no business interfering with adult lives based off some myth produced by the adoption industry. Adoptees are not a threat to us natural parents. We can manage our own lives if our lost children find us (and I won't mind one bit if she finds me down the road).

Possum

ALL adoptees - regardless of how they were conceived - should have the same rights as all other citizens - and be allowed to access their own birth records.

My opinion - for ANYONE to deny or disagree this fact - must have a very black heart - and care for no-one but themselves.

This issue isn't about someone contacting someone else - it's about the right to know your own truth - who you are - where you came from.

rachael

why would they get fewer rights? the situation is sad, but it should not effect their right to know.

elaeblue

No that isnt right at all. It is not the childs fault what thier father did.

dasupr

All adult adoptees should have the right to have their adoption records opened.

The idea is "to know", not to know a sweet sad story but to know THEIR STORY. Legislation has dumped enough roadblocks in adoptees search to find out about their history. There shouldn't be any secrets from them now. However they were conceived isn't their fault, nor does it make them less than anyone else.
Enough secrets!

Phoenix

I know, lets punish the kid for what the parents did! Oh, wait, that's basically what adoption's all about.

Regardless of how you were conceived, everyone should have the same rights (whether you're adopted or not). Many adoptees in the US have no rights to access their birth records, so how they could have less is puzzling.

LaurieDB

Equal rights under the law should be for everyone. The state has no business assuming how someone feels, assuming relationships and pretending to "protect" someone else's possible feelings about something. Adults can make their own decisions and deal with their own issues. Being adopted or having relinquished does not take this away from someone.

For the record, I know two women who relinquished children conceived of rape. Both of these women searched for and found their relinquished children. Both of these women fully support equal access rights for adopted citizens.

Machowolf

I don't. Just because an adopted kid was concieved out of a horrible tragedy doesn't make it the kids fault. The kid didn't ask to be born...didn't ask for life, it was born out of something horrible....but that kid should be given the same chances that any other kid has. No more, no less.

Even when it comes to accessing their birth records...they have a right to know at some point. It is hard to hear something like that....but sometimes it's for the best that a child know the truth, instead of being spoonfeed lies all it's life. You may think you are protecting that child, but if the child finds out that he or she was concieved via a horrible tragedy like rape or incest......that child will hate the adopted parents even more for lying to them all that time. It can bite you right in the butt bigtime over that.

The best thing you can do is be honest with your child. It's hard, and yes comes with it's own set of baggage altogether....but the alternative is having a child who hates you by the time they are grown up should they find out. It's easy enough to find out theese days as well. Nothing is as hidden as it once was. Think about that....and in 15-20 years...on how much easier it will have gotten to access information like that. Better they hear the truth from you when they are old enough to understand, than for you to lie to them over the course of their entire lives and them end up hating you for it.

sarahhhhhhh

they should just have the same rights as any other adoptee. I can see why people would want to protect them from the info thought.
But at the end of they day, it should be up to them

doodlebug1703

They should have just as much right as anyone else

burning brightly

All people should be equal it should only be their own behaviour that changes this ~~

#6 BEAN IS HERE MISSION COMPLETE

Not me. They have just as much right to know their history as anyone else.

tai's backup

The should and i think do have the same rights as anyone else.....

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