Why are all adoptees even those that are happy considered angry because they want their right to their OBC?

tish

i think laurie and phil stated it well...

and i'll add that sealed records stems back from the days when the shame of infertility and unwed mothers was so taboo that adoption was the facade to "make it all go away." and to open birth records would seriously piss on this wet-dream. unfortunately, remnants of this antiquated belief exist today.

of all the adoption reform issues, this one ranks in the top 2 for me! i think it is unconscionable to deny someone their birth record. every non-adopted citizen has access to their record of birth. so i fail to see why this is so damn taboo for adoptees! many purport that it's to "protect bmothers from unwanted intrusions into their life." i think this is more myth than fact.

i find it interesting that the very same people who were "gifts" somehow morph into stalkers and irrational angry people once they grow up and seek to find out about their history!

by the way, a birth certificate has information about the people responsible for the BIRTH. aparents--albeit may be very wonderful--are NOT responsible in any way for the birth. and if information about the biological parents is omitted, one doesn't have a birth certificate; yet a modified...something or other.

LaurieDB

Some people automatically equate the desire for the OBC with reunion. There are those who don't get it and think reunion somehow has something to do with one's relationship with their adoptive parents.

Anyway, many adult adopted citizens already know their natural parents. But, they are still angry about not being treated equally under the law. Reunions will happen anyway. But adult adopted citizens are the only citizens in 44 states against whom the state discriminates by not allowing the same right enjoyed by its non-adopted citizens.

PhilM

Laurie is right to point out the equation between opening records and reunion. Many people make that mistake.

There also seems to be, in society at large, a desire to pretend adoption is exactly the same as birth. It's not. (You don't have to think adoption is second best to see that it's different. Different is not always worse. So even if you disagree with me about adoption, I think we should all agree it's different.)

But in pretending that adoption is just the same, society is implicitly acknowledging that it, society, thinks adoption is bad. If it weren't bad, society could acknowledge the differences without fear of upsetting people. Since we are (as a society) unwilling to acknowledge the difference, we send the message that adoption is inferior.

Opening OBC's forces society to recognize the difference between adoption and birth. There is a difference between an adult who can just send in seven dollars and get a copy of a birth certificate, and an adult who has to send in at least 50 dollars, and forms notarized by three or more people to get his or her birth certificate. That would force society to deal with the issues surrounding adoption and undermine the "everything is wonderful and just the same" view of adoption that seems so crucial to society's mental health about the issue.

cruzgirlz3

Maybe some are angry....is that so wrong?

Laurel J

I don't know. I am happy with my adoptive family--AND angry because I don't have access to my own birth records. Maybe people don't stop and think that there have been times in their lives when they felt two emotions at the same time. But most of us have. That's why English contains cliches like "love-hate relationship."

Daisey Duck

To me the one I have is the only one I need. As the names on it are my mom and dad. However I do realize that some need to know more and should be allowed to have access to certain things if they choose. The anger concept is misplaced. Just because someone is angry because they are denied access to their records does not necessarily make them an angry person. Everyone has things in life they feel passionate about that doesn't make them an angry person.

whatever!

people like to generalize. most ap's don't do this but unfortunately there are some who do. meaning they feel betrayed because their child wants the OBC. i feel if a person is not mature or secure in their relationship with their adoptive child, is when they label their child and other adoptees as angry. Most AP's don't do this so, those that do are drowned out by most of theAP's on here who want what is best for all involved in the adoption process.

Freckle Face

i am an aparent and I'm on your side. It is human nature to want all of your original paperwork. It should be within your rights to have full access to your obc. Adoption is emotional and i try not to judge or label anyone. I am only imagine your frustration. Good luck to you and i hope the laws in the remaining states change soon!

Torrejon

I think, in this case, that HAPPY is being confused with COMPLACENT.

LaraSue

I don't think the only reason some are considered "angry' is just because they want their OBC.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

I have my birth certificate. It says where I was born, my wt, length etc...it even has the name of my mom and dad....just not my birth parents.

School Nurse

I think "frustrated" is a better word than "angry". The sad news is that the biological mother would lose her rights when an adoptee claims their right to their original birth certificate. Since SHE has a legal document giving her that right and a right to privacy and right to confidentiality, lots of HER rights are lost. Honestly speaking, I think this is a battle that will be hard to win because of that.

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