Why are so many people adopting children from other countries???

BPD Wife

I used to wonder the same thing - until I went down the adoption road and understood things better.

Many adoptive parents choose international adoption because adoption is so expensive and there are no guarantees that at the end of the process that the bio parents will not change their mind. With international adoption, the children are typically already available in orphanages and you are less likely to have a failed adoption (unless going thru Guatemala right now).

Also in speaking with our friends who adopted internationally, one of the reasons they chose to do so was the fear of having the bio parent "change their mind" later or try to show up uninvited. There are so many stories out there (many not true) that it terrifies adoptive parents. Many choose international adoption as a way to alleviate that fear.

You are correct; there are many children in the US that need adopting. After going through some of our adoption process with NJ Div of Youth & Family Svcs, I must say that they are not the easiest people to deal with. I believe that some of that is what unfortunately prevents people from wanting to deal with children who are in foster care. It's sad but true. The Div of Youth & Family Svcs actually referred to my child as a "commodity". Children are NOT commodities and should not be treated as such.

This seems to be a really popular question, it gets asked every week!
We choose to adopt internationally because we wanted to be parents to a child that really needed parents and not be a part of the screwed up system that is adoption and foster care here in the US.

I was moved by the abandonment of girls in China and decided I wanted to give a little girl (or boy) the chance to be somebody, anybody they wanted.

And just so you know we do help kids here, we work with the local Boys & Girls Club and donate to local charities that support children and families.

Andraya

The most sought after children in North America are also the hardest to find. The elusive Caucasian, healthy newborn. I suspect that people are willing to look to other countries when adoption here appears to gain little to no results. I often wonder if international adoption isn't often the fourth best option that many are willing to try for. First being natural conception, second being assisted conception and third being domestic adoption. None of these are any better or worse than the next if they are undertaken with true compassion and love as well as the desire to do what is in a child's best interest.

What irks me is the amount of people willing to look to international adoption for older children. There are thousands of children in North America who desperately need a loving and stable home. Why are people willing to shell out tens of thousands of dollars to adopt a toddler or preschooler from overseas when the same age groups are available here for a nominal price? Afraid that the ones here have more baggage? Fear of having the natural family so close at hand? Thinking that a child from an overseas orphanage is more "deserving" than the foster child across the road? A belief that a child out of the squalor and destitution of a poverty stricken nation will be more "grateful" for a chance at western society and it's indulgent and gluttonous ways?

Whatever the case it is their choice. All anyone can do is offer to educate people about foster to adopt initiatives and programs.

thatswhatshesaid

I can't speak for anyone else, but we chose to adopt from Ethiopia because that is where our son was. I can't explain it, except that we knew, without a doubt, our son was in Ethiopia. It was never a choice between a child in Ethiopia or a child in America. It was a realization that we felt our family wasn't complete, we each independently felt our child was in Ethiopia, and when we finally discussed together what we had each individually been thinking that only cemented it. Ethiopian adoption was the only kind of adoption we even researched.

I know many families who felt the same about their adoptions both private domestic and through foster care. They felt a strong calling to a certain type of adoption and that is the only kind they ever persued.

It is an absolute myth that it is any easier or cheaper to adopt from overseas. The US part of the approval process is the same for both domestic and international AND on top of that you have to pass tough international requirements that are often harder than the US domestic requirements.

Percentage-wise the vast, vast majority of adoptions in the US are in fact domestic. Many people believe otherwise only because international adoptions are often much more visible.

ALL children deserve a loving home.

Adoption in the U.S. is very complicated and uncertain. Here are the three different domestic adoption scenarios. You can see why each one is complicated in it's own way:

Do you want to adopt through foster care? If so, it *might* be fast and easy, or it might mean getting to know and love child after child, only to see each child returned to his/her birthparents. It can also take a long time to finalize in some states, or even to get the attention of social workers to place a child in your home.

Do you want to adopt through a domestic agency? Well, that can be very, very expensive, and you *might* adopt quickly, or it might take a very long time, depending on whether the birthmothers who are working with that agency like your bio.

Do you want to adopt privately? Well, that *might* be fast and easy, but it also might take a long time to find a birthmother, and you could end up seeing one adoption after another fall through, when the birthmother changes her mind, sometimes early in the adoption, and sometimes quite late - right up to the birth or even right afterward. While I think that is the birthmother's right, it is HARD on an adoptive couple, who never know when to get their hopes up. And, if they give money to that birthmother for expenses, that money is spent and not refundable, since you are paying for the good of the mother, not for a child (which would be illegal.)

With international adoption, you follow the rules of a given country, and you will bring home a child sooner or later. And, yes, children in all countries need parents, not just here in the U.S.

Britt

I agree the way i see it is when people adopt from other countries and not the children in the US for the kids here it's like a slap in the face. Because what the children here aren't good enough or something.

Shelby L

because most people want to adopt infants and it is really hard to do so in the US there are more people wanting babies then are giving them up.

julia

i really don't know the answer, but i've heard it's much easier and cheaper to do it overseas... i am assuming that plays a factor.

Miss Kelly

cheaper and those parents don't come after the baby later on.

Jasmine526

I hear that its a bit cheaper & the parent of the child can't try and take the child back. Here in America...the blood mother can get her child back if she wants.

red&sassy

because the "stars" have made it a fad. i hate to think about the ramifications this is going to bring on these children. adoption from another country? children who don't look even remotely like the rest of the family? let's face it, we all want to be with people we look like. most of us anyway. we really won't know for another 10-30 years. i know the suicide rate is higher among adopted children and this is when they were placed in homes where they looked like the other members.

i wish the adoptees the best and their families. i hope the adoptees see things the way their AP's are hoping they will. i hope if the adoptees are of a different ethicnity, the AP's will have a support group for them to reach out to. kids just like themselves.

THUMBS DOWN?? FOR WHAT?? STATING FACTS. WISHING THE AP'S THE BEST AND HOPING THEY HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP FOR THEIR CHILD? I WISH THEM WELL! I HOPE IT WORKS! WE DON'T KNOW AND WON'T KNOW, THE VERDICT IS STILL OUT. JUST BE COGNIZANT OF THAT.

Erin

The Adoption process in this country is a very long, time consuming process that costs a lot of money. A lot of times you must first be a foster parent, unless you have a private adoption in the works, and pass a lot of tests before you can be an adoptive parent. I fail to understand how any set of irresponsible teenagers can make a baby and be allowed to raise it, but two hard working, successful married adults must jump through hoops for the same chance at child rearing. 3rd world countries have so many children in orphanages, and so little people in their own country with the will and/or means to adopt children, that they just want to push the children into the arms of any person who can afford to take them.

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