Why are some so against adoption..?

JennyH

It's damned if you do, damned if you dont. If you decide to get an abortion, your wrong, if you give your child up f or adoption, your wrong...but if you are a 16 year old girl, that had to drop out of school and get a full time job to support her child...then she is wrong. Adoption, is the most unselfish decision. You are chosing to give your child to a family, that desperately wants a family, and to a family that can give your child the world. I can understand why an adoptee, may be against it, if they were raised by awful people. Other than that, I think it's a positive thing.

To Anha's answer....she approves, adoptiing through foster care, but not other types of adoption? The foster care adoptions mostly come from people that should have given their child up for adoption in the first place. These children in foster care have parents that were not responsible enough to take care of their children. It can range from abusive parents, drug addicted parents...why would anybody want to put a child through that, when they could have just grown up in a family that would have taken care of them from the begining.
Adoption can be a positive thing...how can anybody say it is human trafficing? I guess she wouldn't know how it would feel not to be able to have children of her own. Adoption is an opportunity for people to have a chance at being a parent.....and to raise and love a child as their own., and for the child to have a chance....instead of not being wanted and ending up in foster care.

Lori A

Because it ISN'T always done out of love. That's the illusion the industry wants you to buy into so you won't look deeper and find out that they are unscrupulous in their practices of obtaining children. That whole "done out of love" statement proves that someone read the brochure and nothing else. It sounds better than what actually happens so we want to believe it. Seek the truth, hold them accountable, make adoption what it was supposed to be again, and everyone will be better off.

Mei-Ling

Because of what adoption does to the original family.

Even so, if a parent is unable to actually parent or just doesn't want to and an AP steps in, the child may wonder, "What wasn't good enough about me that my OWN MOTHER didn't want to parent/keep me?"

myst1998

Read the Research... it is something that has been researched since back in the 1940's and has been ongoing ever since. To get started:

http://www.originsnsw.com/id12.html
http://www.originsnsw.com/law/
http://www.originsnsw.com/law/id16.html
http://www.originsnsw.com/index.html
http://www.dianwellfare.com/id23.html
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_damage_to_children.html
http://www.uoregon.edu/~adoption/archive/ClothierPAC.htm
http://www.nancyverrier.com/index.php

These are just a few websites and there is heaps more research out there in forms of papers, books etc and there is alot more research still being done... separation is not meant to take place in any form between a mother and her child... it isn't how we are wired. When it does happen, regardless how w see and feel about it at the time, it is a loss. Whether we disassociate ourselves from it or not... adoption is based on loss... so tell me why would I think anything based on loss would be good?

Anha S

I'm against unethical, immoral, and unnecessary adoption, and yes, there are plenty of adoptions that probably wouldnt happen if the mother was given some kind of encouragement and directed towards resources to parent her child. I am for adoption from foster care. I am against adoptees being stripped of their identities, cultures, languages, and histories. I am against adoptees being denied the same rights everyone else has, the right to have their own information. I am against adoption when it is all about filling a couple's need for a child rather than what is in the best interests of the child. I'm against the treatment of children as a hot commodity. I'm against the lining of agencies pockets by procuring a child for couples. I'm against child trafficking.

Adoption isn't all peaches and roses. There are no guarantees of that mythical better life. Babies aren't blank slates to be molded. We adoptees came equipped with a past and another set of parents. There is a huge loss for the first mother and the adoptee, and I get cranky when that isn't recognized.

ETA since I've been called out: There IS human trafficking involved in adoption. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/n/a/2007/08/12/international/i150803D47.DTL Just one example. Read in the adoption section here, plenty of posts are made about child trafficking, and kidnapping for the purpose of adoption. Secondly, I'm lucky to have my daughters as I have secondary infertility. I will never have a baby with my husband. Not the same as never having been pregnant, but I do know a little bit about the grief that occurs. However, I dont think that a child should come into a family with a job to fill. Third, adoption isn't supposed to be about needy families. Its supposed to be about the children, though apparently there has been a massive move away from that. You cite drug addicted child abusers who should have given their kids up. Don't forget aparents are human too, and can and do in some cases inflict physical, emotional, and mental damage on their kids. Adoptees aren't somehow exempt from experiencing a life like that. Adoption CAN be a positive thing. If it is done right. With the child's best interest at heart.

chielu c

Because it legally erases a person's identity and legally separates a person from their mother, father, family, culture, ethnicity and often homeland. Adoption expects a person to be the child of people unrelated to them - to fill others' need to be parents. Adoption is a sick and inhumane practice.

Raising someone's child because her or his parents are unable to is not adoption. Adoption is the sick game of taking a child and pretending that child is yours. How can this be viewed as normal behavior?? It's taking away a person's identity and family and forcing that person to take on a new identity and family, while keeping that person's family a secret from them. Imagine not having access to your own family and identity? Imagine wanting to know who and where your family is and no one will tell you or search for them for you?

In any situation other than adoption, people would search the four corners of the earth to find a child's family. Why is somone's missing family acceptable just because it's adoption?

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

** I have NEVER met anyone on this site that is against adoption from foster care. (we would prefer Permanent Legal Gaurdianship) Children should NEVER have to live with abuse or neglect! **

I hate adoption. I realize that at times it may be necessarry, like with foster children, but I still hate it for the kids.

Adoption comes from loss. No baby wants to be ripped from his mother, his mother is his entire world, he grew inside of her and knows NOTHING other than her. When the child grows, he is surrounded by people who all too often do not look like him, sound like him, have the same interest, ect. He can not possible have a good sense of identity, no matter how functional the adoptive family is.

Adopted children (especially those who are adopted as infants, and international adoptee's) are expected to give up their family so they can have material things, then are expected to be grateful!

I hate international adoption. I hate it because the largest reason they are relinquished (there are also kidnappings and rape to help fill the demand) is because they are too poor. They are basically forced into relinquishing one to feed the others. This could be fixed if, instead of adopting these children, you send the money that you would spend to raise them to the natural parents. However AP's would not get anything from this so I don't see that happening anytime soon. AP's like the idea that its better to have them shipped over here, stripped of their family, culture, identity, and the very core of who they are all because they can't have kids. I mean it is all about them right?

I have no problem with people who adopt from foster care, I understand that there are sick people out there who abuse and neglect their children. These kids deserve love like anyone else. However, these kids still feel a loss of there natural family.

I hate the adoption industry, they make money from selling children like livestock. They tell pregnant women that they are not worthy enough to be parents because they are too young, poor, single, uneducated, you name it. They have clients to serve (PAP's) and they need her baby!

I hate how people glorify adoption as "wonderful" when it is most cetainly NOT!

rachelrmf@sbcglobal.net

allot are against adoption for their own reasons, All you can do is research and choose the best path for your family and that child.

Discovery

Who's against adoption. What kind of cruel people are we living with that don't want a child to have a happy family. Adoptions happen for a number of reasons, and no mother with any other option would give up their child. Adoption happens for so many reasons, but always out of love.

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