Why are the questions regarding mothers so inflammatory?

Sly

I am not so concerned about the thumbs up and down thing, but I am concerned about the tagteam reporting here. Thumbs are a nuisance, but the tag teaming denies people a hearing. I have never been in a forum where people were censored like this and am not real sure how comfortable I am with a place where a disrespectful term like Birther or a statement that we got pregnant because we didn't keep our legs together gets allowed but a Best Answer is removed because sarcasm is "not a question or an answer"? What's up with that? I am accustomed to rudeness from some people but this is so over the top discriminatory and blatant censorship that I am appalled.

Gaia Raain

I'd be willing to bet this is not going to be a popular answer, but I'm going to go way far out on a limb and say it's a sign of progress. Here you will find very outspoken adoptees and first mothers, and even adoptive parents (and PAP's) who are outspoken in support of them. The atmosphere here has become one where the oppressed are dominating, and the oppressors are losing ground. Faced with evidence that they are wrong, that their actions and words are not accepted, they are fighting to keep their ground. And they're losing.

This is a very small segment of society, so I don't think it's making a huge difference. But never underestimate the power of a small group of people. Each one of us goes out in the world and tells our stories in our own ways, and I don't know about anyone else, but the information I learn here is being carried into the real world. People there are starting to listen up - or fight against the changing tide - just as they are here.

This may be a small group, making a small difference, but it is making some difference. And this massive paradigm shift that this small group symbolizes is frightening for those who don't want it.

Mei-Ling

I don't care about the Thumbs Up and Thumbs Down. They're *thumbs* - on a screen. = =

But I'm so tired of people making assumptions and accusations about first mothers who should have just "kept their legs closed."

Randy B

Like many things, this is an emotional issue for a lot of people. They are passionate about their views, some might say even to the point of being fanatical or militant. I think you'll find though that the majority of people here are level headed and willing to discuss things rationally. It's just that they don't get noticed as much as the militants.

Indian-vision

IMO there is an avalanche effect going on here. It started with Adoptees that are dealing with their adoption and hurting, and some bio- mother that did not have an ethical adoption genuinly or "believe" they didn't (child services stepping in case for whatever abuse/neglect) have an ethical adoption. They started to attack all AP"s and PAP's like they all were cause of their problems and issues with the world.
It led to AP's fighting back. Many got defensive, many got angry.

The problem is not one size fits all. Not every B.Parent's/adoptee's story's every B.Parent/adoptee's story.

If we learn to respect each other and stop getting abusive every time we read a different opinion. If yahoo gets rid of that darn stupid "thumbs up....thumbs down" button. If Yahoo starts having a proper Mod that views every "reported abuse" fairly can this become a clean forum.

Now i sit back and amuse myself with the thumbs down.

ETA- Sly- You have a thumbs up from me.

LaurieDB

Hi Amy,

Yes, unfortunately it's been crazy here lately. There has been a lot of hostility. It's too bad, because legitimate questions haven't necessarily been getting the attention they deserve.

Good questions about important issues in the lives of the questioners have even been used as mini-forums for hurling insults at the perceived "other side."

I hope things calm down here. I don't expect it to ever be "drama free." However, it's absolutely out of hand right now.

almost human

Maybe they are frustrated that the demographics are so mixed?

The hostility does not bother me. Hostile people out themselves and undermine their own cause with their hate and bile. It is hard to take what they say seriously. I have faith in the reading public to distinguish what is cogent from what is spiteful.

Now, the thumbs up and thumbs down thing just isn't helpful at all. It is too non-specific and therefore we can't know what it is measuring.

As long as there are no personal attacks, I say let them show their fangs...

School Nurse

This forum has been inflammatory and hostile since I've been on it in recent months. A big part of the problem is that everyone is demanding respect by few are giving respect.

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