Why can't foster kids ever have luxuries? Why ONLY basic necessities? Why can't we have fun?

Rosanna O

i think u were just unofortunate enough to have bad foster parents, maybe u lived with the same foster parents all the time, or it was just a string of abusive foster parents.

a very good friend of mine and her hubby r foster parents, and they r excellent with their foster kids, for one most of the stuff u described up there is neglect and abuse, therefore illeglal and if CPS knew, they would have to take u and probably looking into yanking the parents licenses as foster parents.

sizesmith

Not all foster or adopted, or even kids that were born to us get treated like that, nor do they get treated excellent. There are good, bad, excellent, and just downright abusive families in all walks of life.

It sounds like your life was really unfair. Stop the cycle, get some counseling, and try to make it better for a child in the future, no matter if you give birth to it, adopt it, foster it, or just love it. All kids deserve better.

First off I am so sorry that happened to you. It should not be like that. When you got to be a foster parent they say that you must be abel to raise a child without the money. They also say that the money does not cover everything much less the extras and that children deserve the extras. YOu should of been allowed to go to prom and you should not be forced to Bible class. In my state at least foster kids can not have religion forced on them they have the right to say no.
As for the other things let me try to explain. You are not allowed to drive because the state is your parent and they would have to buy the insurance and they can't afford it. Foster kids can't even get permits to drive. As for the job thing that is tricky to i don't understand it fully but something with again the state being your parent and usually parents have to sign off on children working or something but it can be done and you need special permission. As for the cell phone personally my bio kids won't have one so my foster kids won't either maybe a prepaid for everyone but not on my plan. teens are to reckless bio or not.

Santa's Lil' Helper

We are taking both kiddos to Disney with us for two weeks in September along with our daughter. They were so excited when we told them. They have never been to DIsney before. We even made arrangements for special menus at a restaurant with the kids pictures on them visits to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique and tickets for Mickey's Not So Scary Haloween Party. I just can't imagine treating them any differently then our dd.

I am sorry you were treated like a second class citizen. I think if people want to become foster parents they need to be prepared to treat the children in their care just as they would their own.

BTW it almost took an act of congress to get permission to leave the state with them. Thankfully the judge and the social worker could relate to how much this would mean to a child.

Jen

That's VERY unfortunate and sounds like Hell. Social Workers are meant to keep you safe and put you in the best home. I had the best foster family I could ask for. The Social Worker STILL investigated all the time and I had to go to a therapist to make sure things were okay. I had a wonderful foster experience. I was actually quite spoiled. My first birthday party looked like it was for triplets. I was eventually adopted into my foster family. I've never heard of cops, psychiatrists, or social workers encouraging abuse... that's just sick. I'm so sorry to hear you're horror story, but hopefully you will grow from this. There IS help for foster kids out there.

Safia M

I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but please don't generalize. I was adopted and could not have had a more wonderful family life and upbringing. I had everything I ever wanted and much more. I'm so grateful to have been adopted by wonderful loving parents rather than dragged up by a single mother on a council estate and ending up with little to no chance in life.

KTea

My parents are foster parents, in fact were my foster parents, but adopted me. They treat every child that comes into our home with love and acceptance, equal to myself and older siblings that are all adults and have kids of their own. We give them the same amount of presents are I or family members get, sometimes more as other family members do not care, pisses me off.

An aunt of mine is a foster parent as well and her father-in-law refers to her foster kids as "welfare kids". That made me so made.

Independ"ant"

Too many tax payers would rather waste their money bailing out people that decided flood and/or hurricane insurance wasn't important nor necessary despite living in a area that floods and gets hurricanes.
They would rather waste their money bailing people out financial problems that max out their credit cards and don't pay their mortgages because they want to live beyond their means.
Too many tax payers like the taste of tang, so they would rather waste billions in space exploration. Nasa hasn't done anything to justify the money wasted on it.

I don't know why the ethics and morals of our country are sinking into the gutter. Hopefully it will change the more people speak up about and against it. Greed and corruption is the American way now.

First things first..Bush must go and then we need to get the republicans to develop a conscience.

moviebuff

I think your just got a bad sent of foster parents. I have know some that were very giving to their foster children. Please don't let this affect the rest of your life. You can try and go to school part time to get your degree and make a really good life for yourself. Then when you are ready maybe you can help foster a child

Landon's Mommy

It's because you weren't being raised by anyone who wanted you. If they cared about you they wouldn't abuse you in any way. It's not fair but the foster care system is really messed up that way.

Wundt

It all depends on who your foster parents are. When we fostered, we would take our foster kids camping, rock climbing, to the beach, etc. At christmas and birthdays, we always made sure they had as much as anyone else. And, I know other foster parents who do the same, for example, one couple I know don't need the foster care payments, so all of that money goes directly to the kids to buy clothes, toys, and other fun stuff.

I am sorry that was not your experience.

Mom to Foster Children

I am so sorry that you had to grow up like this. It is sad that some (I said some) foster parents treat their children like slaves etc and expect them only to be a means of income!

I love my (soon to be) adopted son, like he is my own. Every night when I put him to be he is told that his (other) mommy and daddy along with us love him very much and he replys with "more than I will ever know". Which is true...I don't think any time soon, that he will understand the love that his first parents had, nor the love that we have for him. Although he has a unique situation and knows his first family as he is school age and still not "available" for adoption, he understands more than we think...and I hope for all's sake that his parents "clean up" so that they can be (if willing) a part of his life.

LisaHW

You got the wrong foster parents. I've known people who are foster parents, and I've seen them help their foster kids get a driver's license, get a dress (and tickets) for the prom, get their high school rings, etc. etc. The kids I've known did not do house work. Their foster mother believed it was not their job, and in some case some of the kids had been through too much.

After a while, even without being asked, some of them would just kind of offer to help when they thought it was needed.

I know children who have been adopted by their foster parents because they had been with them for a while, and the parents didn't want them to go through losing the people they were close to (again).

It sounds to me as if you happened to be one of the many unfortunate kids who ended up with abusive foster parents. Not all foster parents are abusive. I've seen how people can kind of gang up on a kid, though, so I know you're not lying.

lilla-vanilla

i think you were just very unlucky with the foster family you were placed with, and if you were treated badly i do feel sympathy for you, however, my mum and dad foster although i am not fostered myself and i have never been treated any differently from the foster kids we have living with us, from a parenting point of view, Sometimes the kids we had living with us are unhappy, but that is not due to favoritism or anything. we all have equal opportunities, no one is excluded from doing anything because they are fostered, if they are it is due to misbehaving etc. and i have been treated the same.

hope this reassures you that not all foster carers are bad people, as our entire family is still on speaking terms with kids who we used to foster, and still meet up with some of them from time to time.

Stephen G

We wanted to adopt and love a child like our own however i know where your coming from all the red tape stoped us and if you add me go into my questions and you will see us discuse this and read down alittle and youll see a social worker write to us i feel the system is failing everyone involved the children needing adopted the families wanting to adopt.

tay

well, my grandparents have raising foster kids for the most of there life and to answer your question they cant because they had to much stuff go on i there life it will take time to get back to normal.

2 Cupcakes

There aren't very many kids that like their life.
Life is not fair. All through your life there will be things that you will question. I don't know anyone that has had an easy life.

trea wills

Srry about wht happen but i have great foster parents we have our ups and downs but wht fam doesnt, i have a wonderful time with my new fam and hope the best for all foster kids out there i thank god all the time for wht they do for me and my brothers and sis they help with sports,extra money movies all kinds of stuff and agian srry.

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