Why do I get told I am being unreasonable so often?

I need to finish my prerequisite so I can apply to the community college associate RN program. That is the reasonable part according to everybody else. I also want to continued support the family unit while I go to school by get a waitressing job. Care for my three children and now the unreasonable part take in 1 foster child. It is unreasonable according to my boss and my husband.

I currently work as a medical assistant and all I want to do with my life to is to raise my kids, take care of other people in need, and some traveling. Why is that so unreasonable. Why does everybody tell me I have plenty of time to do all this? If the world ends in 3 years and I haven't fulfilled my goals then what? What is life if you don't have a place you want to get to?
Additional Details
Right now I am lining everything up so my husband can be a stay at home dad. And I can still go to school. My prerequisite I can take all of them online so during that period I can keep my medical assisting job. And if everything goes right, once I am accepted into the RN program I could also get a waitress job on the weekends. My neighbor knows the manager and as long as I am willing to fill in an occasional shift during the week when somebody quits or calls in sick I would be set. I would make enough to cover all my bills. Yes I would probably spend less time sleeping and more time studying including my rewriting everything until I learn it into my memory. I did that with medical assisting school. And the community college won't be a hour drive away. half an hour tops. My children have never had to go to day care. I love them and I love spending time with them.

Lauryn

wow you are superwoman, i think that what you want to do is an awesome idea so go for it, when you kids start going to school why don't you suggest to you husband to get a part time job.............. i think you'll
will do an amazing job
God bless

Anne G

Think about it this way. Being a career woman and a mom is very hard to begin with. You can do both, but something will suffer at one time or another. If your child is sick then either your job suffers the loss of you not being there, or your child suffers by you not being there for them.

Waitressing will take you away from home on weekends and holidays when your children are home from school, taking away what little time you may have to spend with them. If you have to, then you have to though.

A foster child needs the extra attention and time. Regardless of the situation, that child needs the extra support. There are many career women that do it. BUT, when a child is removed from the home, even if it is a matter of losing both parents to an accident, they have what they at least, felt as the stability and love from someone (not saying that it really was love or stable). When they are put into another home, they get even more confused. They really need someone there to help them through their rough spots, not just someplace to lay their heads at night, no matter how much better the family structure is.

If you really want to help, then either wait until you have more time, or spend the time you can.

The world MAY end in 3 years, or you may end up dead in an accident tomorrow. One never knows. But trying to do everything isn't always best. Doing what you can best is much better. In other words, a half-a~~ed job on a lot of things is not better than a great job on a few things.

DevonChaos

If you are doing all these wonderful things, who is taking care of the children? It would be a shame to bring in a foster child and put them immediately into day care. More likely than not, this child will need special care and attention at the beginning. If you don't have enough time to devote to this, it isn't fair to the child. You already have 3 children. Bringing in someone who is going to need extra time and attention might make your other children feel less than special. I would say wait a while until you are done with school and can take time off from working to focus solely on child care. Then you would have your ducks in a row and could do all the things necessary to ensure that the child gets what they need. Your other children need to be taken care of first and foremost. I agree that you are biting off way more than a person doing all those things can chew. I am a stay at home mother, and I hardly have time to do all that needs to be done here. I can't imagine working AND going to school AND taking care of another child who may have special needs. Give yourself some time, there will always be wonderful children in foster care who you can help.

GEE-GEE

I am not sure you would be able to foster. Most counties require at least one parent to be a stay at home parent. That way the foster child is getting the attention they need and not being pawned off to a babysitter or sitting in daycare all day.

Looney Tunes

REALITY CHECK

Um, doing all this, do you really think you are "caring" for your children. It sounds like your husband is doing or will be doing most of the caring as the stay-at-home dad...(while you are studying, driving to and from college, waitressing, etc)

...that being said, since foster children are not "easy" he SHOULD have a major say about this....as he is going to be doing the majority of the work.

You are being selfish and it is unreasonable to take in a foster child who is going to have ALOT of issues and NEEDS and then you abandon that foster child for everything else YOU WANT to do.

Again, here we are with YOUR WANTS AND DESIRES.
Children should come first and foster children really NEED to come first.

Heather B

I don't know about unreasonable. I think you're superwoman to juggle all of that. Boy, you must have some energy, send some over this way would ya

nicole21cherie

from personal experience its probably not the best idea but if its your dream go for it. nursing school takes up ALOT of your time. i graduated a 2 year program so i know. theres tons of studying and you take lecture classes plus clinicals. in order to learn everything it takes a great amount of time. plus your going to be working which i also did thru school. at the end of your program you have to do a preceptorship which consists of anywhere from 120 hours plus depending on where you go. imagine your working your regular job too. then you have your family to care for. i did not have any children when i went through school but several of my classmates did. i know it was exteremly hard on them and they didnt get much sleep. the world will not end in 3 yrs and if it does you will take care of plenty of patients in clinincals. you sound like you have a real passion to care for people but you need to be able to take care of them and your husband in my personal opinion i think it would be way too much to handle but shoot for your dreams only you know yourself. good luck! nursing is a great profession

durdenslabs

Wait. You have 3 kids, go to school all day, work on the weekends and your husband stays at home??? How is THAT fair???

I'd make hubby get a job...even part time...to help with bills. That way you could definitely fit an extra child into your schedule without things being unreasonable.

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