Why do/did you REALLY want to adopt?

ladybmw1218

We really wanted to have a family, and experience parenthood, and share our lives and adventures with a child, and help raise that child to an adult. Why do most people want to raise children?

After 14 years of marriage, and failed IVFs we had decided that we could still experience being mentors, and be an influence by being involved with our nieces and nephews, and were seriously considering foster parenting.

We were not looking to adopt, had not signed up with an agency or done a homestudy or anything...as we were uncomfortable with the system in general.

One day, we heard from a friend that he had recommended us to his friend, who was pregnant and looking for adoptive parents on her own, as she also felt uncomfortable with the traditional agency system.

We ended up doing a private adoption, and it is fully open, like an extended family.

That we ended up adopting was not planned.

Gaia Raain

I went through a 30-year process before coming to the conclusion that I wanted to be an adoptive mom. When I was a kid, my goal was to be a single mom. I didn't want a man telling me how to raise my babies.

Then, after an abusive marriage (which, thankfully, produced no babies), I decided I didn't know how to be a mom, and my kids would only live in misery (smart choice, considering that up until that point, I had known only abuse in my own life, and didn't know how to give my kids anything better).

Right before I met my husband (I mean literally, like a month before I met him), something amazing happened to me, and I realized that I had learned over the years how to treat children with kindness and respect, and treat them as equals - and most importantly, how to avoid the pitfalls my parents didn't know how to avoid. In a moment of clarity, I realized that I knew how to not HIT a child to get my point across. In that moment, I knew I could be a mom.

That didn't mean I WANTED to be a mom, but it sure did set the wheels in motion. Over the next two years, I was busy falling in love, and trying to figure out what my place was in this world - with a MAN in my life (!!!). We discussed children a few times, we knew we wanted them - later.

Then, I went to the coast with some friends for the weekend. It was a wild and crazy time, right before my wedding. One of my friends was a woman who had adopted through foster care. We were inseparable that weekend. What I learned was amazing. I talked to my soon to be husband as soon as I got home, and within weeks, we had decided to adopt through foster care - again, later.

Our reasons for adopting:

Our own kids would be "special needs" because I have genetic "issues" that would be passed on to our biological children - why not give a family to a child who needs one? It's not like we're not going to be dealing with special needs anyway.

We want kids. They need parents. Works out nicely.

We have worked with (personally and professionally) kids and adults with all sorts of mental and physical issues, and we're pretty well equipped (emotionally, physically, mentally, etc.) to provide almost anything that our kids need. What we can't provide ourselves, we know how to get (i.e. therapy, medication, social services, etc.).

We spent a lot of time learning (especially in recent months) what it's like to be an adoptee, and we think we've got what it takes to give our kids what they need in that area, too (i.e. validation, acceptance, room to breathe, ANSWERS, TRUTH, etc.).

We've got a decent support system (i.e. friends) who can help when needed.

Basically...we've got what they need...they need what we've got...why not? If we were going to have kids anyway...may as well give a home to kids who need one.

ETA: Being "noble" is NOT a reason to adopt, and it's not on my list for a REASON. I'm not "saving" anyone, I'm not "taking in" anyone. I made a logical choice to become what someone else needs. If you're adopting so that you can be praised for being "noble", you might need to reexamine some things (not that you will, but it might be a good idea).

mama

Because the child needed a safe home where she would be loved and cared for and we had a family that could offer her such a home. BTW I adopted through the foster system and already had four bio. children.

Kazi

The short answer:

I wanted to be a mom and I knew there were children already existing in the world that needed parents.

Lillie

I REALLY did not want to BE adopted.

Didn't have to think long or hard about that one.

IDK!!

I think there is a life long series of events that lead me to adopt.

I'd say first would be my upbringing. I would pray that people would see that my mom was an alcoholic and take me away. I never went to the do or dentist. I knew my mom loved me and tried her best, I loved her to, but at the time when I was suffering, I truely wished someone would save me.

Then through school, I was friends with tons of foster children. Probably about 30 friends throughout school. Then there were some who lived with family. I just couldn't imagine why, if people loved their kids, how they could do some of the horrible things that lead theses kids to foster care. Also, I remember how many times fiends of myine came to school and excited about having a new last name and that they were adopted my a great family. I was so happy for them.

Then When I found out about my son, who did need a home, it wasn't even a question. We had room and I love babies and kids. him and my daughter (by birth) are 14 months apart.

Something else I always knew, even though I had't really seen it, was that I was for open adoption, from the time I knew what adoption was. Even thouth my friends were getting adopted, and were so excited about it, I also saw that sadness that they were feeling because of the lose of their first family. Even if their parents were abusive.

My son has a great family who love him and eachother. They are such a blessing.

sunny

That's not me, Shelly tofu.

Another Sunny, I guess.

I can't imagine why anyone would want to raise other people's children, that's why I had 3 of my own, pain and all.

That sounds more like me, right?

Well when we were dating we allways talked about adopting one day. We were unsure of the amount of kids we wanted but we said we would adopt to help a child that needed a home.
Then we got married and my wife became diabetic. We were going to adopt first then have a bio kid but we were told if we wanted to have a bio kid we should do it soon. We had our daughter with no complications for her or my wife but we decided that we won't risk another pregancy. So instead of Adopting one kid then having two. We had one and now we are in the process of adopting one and maybe years later another.

snowwillow20

Personally I don't think it's anybodys business why someone wants to adopt.

AdoreHim

The reason I wanted to adopt is two-fold really. I am adopted myself and had such a wonderful experience that I wanted to share that with a child that was adopted as well. My hubby and I wanted to have a child- and because of a medical problem I was having getting pregnant was not the best choice for me- and both of us wanted to share our love with a child. We , who adopt, for the most part want a child just like a couple that can have children. I have a question for you though. Would you ever ask this of a couple that had their own children? Not sure you would.

I wanted to be a parent and so I found a child that needed one

Christina

i am 15, and my family adopted. my mom had her 3rd child, and the baby died not even being a day old. my parents always wanted more children, so they decided to do foster care when i was 5. my parents ended up doing foster care for about 2 years before a 3 year old boy we had in our home went up for adoption, and we adopted him. then we continued fostering. we had kids coming in and out of our home ever since. 8 years later, we had 3 other kids come into our home. not long after, their mom was pregnant, and she was still uncapable of caring for the baby when he was born. so we picked up the baby from the hospital a few days after he was born. after having the kids for almost 2 years, the 4 kids went up for adoption, and we gladly adopted them. we have not adopted any more kids since then. my family had not intended on adopting this many kids, but when they are in your home, you begin to love them as your own children, and you dont want to ever let them go. being a foster parent is a great thing, although it is very hard to let the kids go when the parents have learned how to properly care for the children. you grow to love them as your own kids, and then they leave, and it is heart breaking. my parents doing foster care was definately the hardest thing i have ever gone through. many people dont realize how much stress the foster family goes through, they just realize how hard it is for the children. foster homes are not bad, like it is shown in movies. i am not saying that all foster homes are great, going into a foster home is nothing to be scared of. the kids just need to feel welcomed. i know that i have gone a little off topic, but i really hope that i helped answer your question.

Skadoctor1

I am an adopted child, as an infant, who has strong opinions about the environment you are raised and not the blood relationship contributing to the success of the child.
We are all genetically prone to desiring children. It stems back from long ago, when mating was to make the survival of the population continue. It is imbedded in our coding.
As an individual who is having a hard time conceiving herself, I want to adopt to share my life, my home, and my love with a child. As an adopted child, I can offer the support and guidance on the feelings that follow finding out you are adopted.
Every one has their own reasons for adopting, some less valid than others. That is up to the courts to decide, whether someone would be fit and is trying to offer a child a home for the right reasons.
Personally, however, I would want to adopt to share the love of my husband and our family with an individual who otherwise would not have received that attention and I otherwise would not have had on my own physically.

Addy

i don't want to adopt (way too young) but, my friend who is adopting, is adopting because she wants to start a family but cannot get pregnant.

Hope I Helped!

Bridget F

I adopted my son as a single woman through the foster care system here in Cleveland, (Antowne Fisher went through the system here and the movie is based on it.) From the time I was a little girl I wanted to adopt, LOVED the cabbage patch phase because they came with adoption papers. My son came home as an infant, addicted to heroin and cocaine. His bio mom was homeless. We are a multicultural family. We are such a happy family. He is now 3 years old and we have so much fun together!

When I was little I wanted to adopt because I felt there were little kids out there that didn't have a family like the one I had and I was sad for them. As I got older, I felt there were too many people here already and so many needed a loving family. Although I am single I have a very large support system and offer my son a large and close extended family. I also never wanted to be pregnant and never wondered if I could love a child from someone elses womb as I would my one from my own womb. It is just not an issue for me. Now that I am three years into being an adoptive mom I have a whole new dimension to wanting to form my family through adoption. Over the course of the 13 months it took to get my son adopted I developed a rlationship with his birth mom. I came to care very much for her. My bachelors degree is in social work and I am currently working on my graduate degree and I hope one day (when my son is in school, right now I stay home with him) to work with addicted prgnant and parenting women.

Adoption is beautiful. Blood may be thicker than water, but love is thicker than both!

Renee King

I have known since I was alittle girl I would adopt. People take different paths to adoption, but for me since I was a little girl I would tell my mom and friends I was going to adopt. I would say I was going to adopt kids from all over and have one great big family. It was something I knew in my gut. Because I was a young girl I could not tell you why I REALLY wanted to adopt, I think in a way it was the path laid out for me. I found out as a teenager that my grandmother was adopted and that was like my moment, I realized then that adoption would be the path I would take even if I did have "biological" children also.

Ironically, my husband and I do not have "biological" children together, he has three from his first marriage and together we adopted alittle boy who know is 5. When I meet my husband I told him I wanted to adopt also and he would ask don't you want to carry a child, and I would say, if that is what is meant to be I will get pregnant, but I know I am supposed to adopt. I had one miscarriage two months before my son came to us, I did not even know I was pregnant. I see in the way that I was getting prepared to be a mother. My husband and I have never went to fertility doctors and haven't checked into the reason why we did not have our own "biological" child, I just do not have the urge, I am happy with adoption, my son, and I believe each of us already have a path laid out for us to take.

My path, hopefully is about to get bigger, my husband just told me on vacation, look at me while we were driving and said, Okay, I am ready for alittle girl, or another son if that is the case. I was extremely excited, so I am looking now into adoption agencies, foster to adopt programs, or networking.

So I guess the overall answer is, I have known since I was alittle girl and I couldn't be happier.

celtic.piskie

I was adopted, didn't turn out well to say the least.
We have a three month old daughter, but we do want more children, eventually.
Why not adopt?
I see it as just another way to have a child, adoption, giving birth, genetics, are those things really important?

Our family will be made bigger, not sure how or when.

But being a military family, it's not going to be easy.

MNmom

I have always wanted to become a mom, in elementary, high school and as an adult. Why? Well it isn't for the glory, appreciation, and it definitely isn't because its easy, maybe because I appreciate what they have to offer to me as an adult...innocence, belief, wonder, simplicity, laughter, firsts, and honesty

Sophie Lisbeth

I am 14 and my mum has been fostering since I was 6 years old 1 year old adopted sister. we first fostered (we'll call her Phoebe) since Phoebe was 1 day old then we fell in love with her, even thouigh we have fostered 12 other babies and 25 other children since my mum started. we just fell in love with Phoebe...it was like a speacial connection and we decided to keep her! X Good Luck and God Bless X

Shelby

Have thought about adoption since age 13. As an adult wanted to have children(family) with my husband, and did not have strong desire to have one biologically.

sizesmith

I gave birth to my oldest son, and the experiences of that made me want another child a few years after, to experience the life, the glows of the lightbulb everytime a new experience happens, the joy of hearing laughter in my home, the feeling of helping another living being (whether it be my biological or adopted children), and the feeling of joy I hear with my children around. My maternal urges used to be so strong. When I had my son, I spent 3 1/2 months in the hospital, and thought I'd never have another child. I thought about adoption, and several times had met women who said they were going to place their child, but changed their minds, usually because I convinced them how they could parent. Last year, I was told about a woman who was 27, and dad was 49, neither wanted more children, they were both broke, she was unemployed, and she had been meth addicted, although wasn't at the time. I couldn't be happier, and my son is happy every waking moment unless he's dirty, hungry, or really tired (normal reactions for a now 9 month old). I'm the happiest I've ever been, and the most blessed person ever with the best partner and father a woman could ever have, two beautiful children (18 years apart), and now I'm hoping to adopt up to 3 more. I've decided now that with my experience working with mentally and physically disabled kids through the years, that I'm going to adopt now out of the foster care system, and hopefully give a child as close to normal and happy life as they can have, and hopefully, much happier than they've been through. I have a lot of love, room, and patience to share, and I'd love for Jacob to have a brother or sister to grow up with.

Riella

I GAVE MY SECOND CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION AND THE COUPLE WHO ADOPTED HIM TRIED FOR TWO YEARS AND COULD NOT CONCEIVE. I MADE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Bleh

Because i too was adopted, and i know the population of the world depends upon it. I also know that a where. (i'm only a teen, but i will always want to adopt)

surffinder

because it is the greatest honor for a child to be in a family where they are loven and wanted

Party on like a goft

because i dont want to get prego and give birth all the pain

BibleSchool Action Figures

I haven't ever adopted a child, but I can assure you its the best thing in the world to do. You're giving a loving home to a child who REALLY needs it. This world is overpopulated as it is, so why the hell would you want to HAVE a kid when you can do the right thing and adopt a child whose parents couldn't raise it themselves. Plus you don't have to worry about getting pregnant, the pain in the a$$ that is. Raising a multi cultured baby would be more fun too.

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