Why do parents carry on about their biological children?

Snickette

I think I understand your question, although you gave some pretty strong opinions. I am of the personal opinion that "flesh & blood" shouldn't mean anything, you should love a child for the person they are, not what you made them..... On the other hand, nobody should ever be "made" to adopt, as it's completely unfair for a child to grow up in a family knowing they are second best, plus it is a basic human right to have children in ANY way that you choose. In some ways this is a good question, but hopefully people realise that families come together in a variety of ways, not just birth or adoption, and family is what holds people together, not DNA. I'm positive that most birth parents don't think of their children as biological, just as most adoptive parents don't think of their children as adopted. Let's face it, we should all be proud of our children, and thank God every day that we were blessed with them!

melissa s

my parents carried on all the time about me, i am adopted, i carry on about my kids because they are the ones i have, i would carry on just as much if they were adopted, it's not about DNA, it's about kids and parents, as a mom you carry on, thats what we do

BPD Wife

As an adoptive mom, I think I understand what you are referring to. But I must admit, I talk more about my son's adoption and the "labor" we had to go through to get him, than most of my friends discuss refer to their children as "flesh & blood".

For what it is worth, my son is my "real" son - adopted or not. I love him just as I would love any child who came into my family - through childbirth or otherwise.

Caledonia

Um... well if someone can concieve and take care of and provide for their own baby then why the hell not? I deeply wish I could afford to take care of every neglected child in the world but I am not seriously going to miss out on pregnancy and birth and having my own child first. Have you had a child of your own? You feel very differntly on the matter once this happens. I had 2 miscarriages before I had my child. And I would have adopted in a heartbeat happly. But I am 25 and wanted to keep trying. I am glad I did because I have a beautiful healthy girl and one on the way also.

Melissa

As long as people love their children, who cares. But I will say there is somethung neat about looking at my little girl and seeing my eyes and my mouth. It's neat knowing she's a part of me and my husband. I'm sure I would love an adopted child just as much.

farmergirl100904

you think it's selfish to express love for their children? wow.
I'm sure that adoptive parents carry on about their adopted children too.

I'm having a baby (gasp! not adopted!) and I can't look after her just fine.

I respect the people that choose to adopt, or have to adopt.
But you shouldn't hate the people that don't make that choice!

onerockinmamato2

While I think your thoughts came across a bit harsh, I do think I understand what you are getting at. I have had at least one person in my life mention to me how much she just "loved her children because she gave birth to them."

However, most people understand that others are capable of loving their adopted children just as much as they would have if they'd give birth to them.

But, on the flip side, adoptive parents who think they love their children more because of what they went through before they adopted rub me the wrong way too.

When I look at my children who are not my flesh and blood, I don't get to see "my eyes" or "my husband's nose." But every day, when I look at them I am in awe. They are so beautiful and they're both miracles - because I think all babies are miracles. And, even though it's not my blood running through their veins, I still feel a bond with them that is fierce and so strong that nothing could ever break it. Which, as I understand, is the exact same feeling I'd feel if they were biologically mine!

greensock

They carry on about them because they love them, just like we love our adopted children. DNA doesn't have anything to do with it. I don't think anyone should be made to adopt if they don't want to. I agree that we should take children away from people who can't care for them, but if they can, they should be allowed to raise their own children.

Not all adoptions are expensive though. Check out your state's waiting child list if you are interested.

ark

Wow, another nut job. Here we go....I bet your next action is to introduce legisation that gives adopted children special rights above all else? It's a statement, get over it and move on with your life.

83085j

Hello! Are you kidding me?! I guess you're incapable of conceiving so now you have to rant and rave about those who are able to do so! No, people shouldn't have to adopt a child! That is perfect for those who aren't able to conceive or don't want to deal with the nine months of pregnancy! However, there's nothing like carrying a child inside of you for nine months and feeling he/she move and grow! .... just knowing I had a helping hand in creating my child is overwhelming at times. How can you sit and say that you love a strangers child just as you would your own, when I'm assuming you have none of your own? Or you would know that there's nothing/noone in the world like YOUR own child! Yes, I love all kids....would do anything for any kid...however there's a love and attatchment to my own that is uncomparible.

LiLy

The problem with adoption is that is costs too much. I know many families that would love to add another member to the family but the cost is just ridiculous. Personally have a two year and i'm pregnant. I want to have my own babies but at the same time i'm planning later in life to adopt a child. I love children and I would never love my adopted child any less than I love my own. I also have a stepdaughter and I love her as if she were my own. Blood tis have no effect on my love for any child.

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