Why do people adopt kids if they don't like them?

BLW_KAM

Hallie,

I know it sounds like your parents are being mean, but if your Mom has quit her job to homeschool you, she's actually making a statement that she wants to make sure you stay out of trouble and don't find yourself in more unexpected situations.

It's our job as parents to try to keep our children safe. I'm sure your parents are very upset about your pregnancy (you're 13, right?) and they may feel like they've failed as parents. They aren't going to be taking any more chances and you may be grounded for a very long time.

Most parents would probably respond in a similar way. They are just as confused as you are.

Philippa

It's your baby and your choice that you raise your child, is there anybody you can trust and possibly willing to support your decision?

I'm not adopted but I was forced to surrender my child as that's what my parents wanted and I didn't know my rights. It is completely wrong to force any mother to surrender just because that's what their parents want.

Find out what your rights are and stand your ground.

Tash

Maybe they are being so "mean" because you are being so immature.

Sarah

I don't know about whether your brother is adopted too or not, but perhaps for your adoptive parents, to them, you might be the exact mirror image of what happened with your natural mother and that scares them a lot. And that there is added pressure to try and raise you up well. Sometimes parents act irrationally when something bad happens to their children. They just freak out. Try and talk to them. They might not hate you, they might just feel like a failure right now, that they took in someone else's child, and from their raising, you have gotten yourself into this "mess". I know a lot of the time, parents blame themselves for their children's mistakes thinking it's their bad parenting.

***********

Grow up. You seem to be more concerned about being taken out of school and going to Six Flags than you do about keeping your baby. If you want to keep your baby you are going to have to grow up and stop acting so petty. You should be researching your options instead of trying to figure out if you can dye your hair.

mezich

They aren't being mean, they are being parents.
You obviously did things to deserve punishment, they love you or they would let you run around and not care.
When you grow up you will understand most the things they do out of love, as for them making you give your baby up, legally they can't force you to give your child away.
Go to a school counselor and ask what your rights are, or if you have to call CPS and see if they can help you out.

Leah

This is one of the reasons so many people feel they way they do about teen pregnancy. Just because you are adopted does not mean you deserve any special treatment, your actions will aways have consequences good or bad. So since you decided to put yourself in an adult situation and get pregnant you need to be an adult and face your consequences.

Crucio

How were things prior to you getting knocked up? Did you always think your parents were mean and didnâ€™t care about you?

I would say ones daughter getting pregnant at 13 would break the trust. I really canâ€™t blame your parents for not wanting to let you go out a lot. I do think your parents are wrong for not wanting to help you raise your baby if you want to keep the child. Deciding to home school you seems a bit drastic but it is their choice and you have proven cant trust otherwise you would not be pregnant at 13. Being that youâ€™re with child you wouldnâ€™t be able to go on many rides at Six Flags anyways.

That does seem rather double standard if they helped your brother out. Then on the other hand its not really comparable a 17 year old (teen parent) to a 13 year old (teen parent) Someone that age can also get a job to help financially take care of their child. In your situation being 13 it would be your parents who would be fully supporting this baby and probably doing the majority of the parenting and child care.

Gaia Raain II

Seriously, come stay with me. This is insane. Your mom and my mom need to get together and go bowling. She's got some serious issues, and I'm sorry she's putting all this crap on you. Foster care might almost be a better option. She's not worthy of you.

Randy B

Perhaps, after all of this (the pregnancy, the defiance....) they feel that they can't trust you any more. Perhaps, rather then blaming them, you should look in the mirror a bit and ask yourself why they can't trust you.

As for giving up the baby for adoption, I won't speak to that. Your parents are your parents and while you are under 18 you are obliged to either listen to them or, as they have pointed out, take the alternative. They are under no obligation to help you raise the baby so, by all means, feel free to explore the options. Personally, I don't agree that you should give the baby up for adoption however I'm not your parents.

I don't understand for a minute while they feel you are immature.

tish_part deux

i'm going to play amateur psychologist and say they are harboring some residual anger towards your fmother. many believe that all young pregnant girls are horrible, irresponsible people; and the ONLY thing they can do for redemption is to give up their baby.... also were your parents infertile? if so, then it could be pure jealousy.

i'm sorry your parents are asses. :-(

ETA: ignore most of these comments. they are from people who troll around YA finding people to trash...

lol

1. your obviously young
2. your having a baby
3. your stupid
4. you obviously weren't smart enough to use protection

And most importantly...it's not your mothers job to take care of YOUR baby. YOU got yourself in this mess now start acting mature and take care of YOUR actions. Lastly, GROW THE **** UP!

allchildrenareangels

Aren't you 13? Well I am not saying 17 is any better but, they couldn't force the girl do go with adoption because, she wasn't their child. I know right now it doesn't feel like it but, I bet you your parents love your very much. This is not just a difficult situation for your parents too. I am sure they are trying to what they feel is best for you. I am sure they are threatening foster care because, they think you will go with adoption instead of that. I don't think they really want to put you into foster care.
I am sure your parents are thinking about the fact you still need to get through school. They also want you to go to college. I know you are young yet so you don't really get how hard it is to support a family. In order to have a comfortable life you really need to get through college.
The thing is in order for you to have a good life adoption is really your best option. Your parents are trying to do what they feel is best for you. If you do manage to keep your baby eventually you will understand. Don't think that they don't love you. I am sure they really feel like they are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sometimes babies stay up all night. They get sick a lot. I can't count how many times I have gone to the hospital in the middle of the night for croup or asthma. I think after my son was born it was 3 years before I got a full night of sleep again. They are also expensive. If you are the parent of this baby your parents can't get the baby insurance you would have too. That is just the way it works. Can you work to get the baby insurance. You really need to think about all these things. I think they want what is best for your baby to which they probably feel is a stable loving couple. Where there is a mother and a father. Where they have the money for everything the baby needs. It will also be hard for you to spend time with the baby because, you need to be getting an education. I am so so so sorry this has happened to you I know this is breaking your heart. :0(

Love,
Michelle

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