Why do people believe the following "themes" that are false?

Sly

I agree with all your statements except the last one. Foster care can be a very lucrative thing, in fact. Some of the states, Maine is one, start their payments at $913.00 (that is their bottom line)

I have attached a link to a table that breaks it down, state by state. It is very interesting, I think.

sweetjane

People believe that because that is how the system is portrayed by other adoptive parents and by many of the parties involved. The one I most hear in reference to my foster child is 'what's wrong with him' or 'what did his real parents do to get him taken'. Everyone assumes that foster kids are disposable or 'less than' other children....even other adoptable children. I think it is a lot like people complaining at restaurants.....everyone wants to complain over bad food/service, but few want to comment when everything is wonderful. Not to compare the two, but I think that foster experiences that go well are not really discussed, while foster experiences that go horribly wrong are touted as the norm.....and repeated as fact.
On a side note, we are not paid anything for fostering. Our child receives medicaid....that's all.

Santa's Lil' Helper

The flip side

Parents who have had their children removed under false prestenses resent potential adoptive parents who use foster care as an adoption agency.

Randy B

I have to disagree with the first answerer, "Baby wassername" Here in my area of Canada we got almost $1100 a month for the infant we were fostering before we adopted her. Thats about Â£580 which isn't far off what you say foster parents get in England.

Well, by the time you buy clothes for an infant or child that is always growing (or wearing them out), the furniture you need for the childs room, the luggage the child is entitled to, the extra food (formula here is Â£21 or $40 a case at 1.5 cases a week), the diapers, wipies, over the counter meds, toys, birthday and Christmas presents, school activities, gas and transport fees to Doctors appointments (especially if the child is special needs)...you certainly do spend all the money you are alloted PLUS more if you are doing it right. Even if you do save one month you can be assured that within the next month or so you are going to be spending it and more.

As for the original question, I think people assume that you have to foster to be able to adopt because in most area it's referred to as "foster to adopt". Of course, those of us who have done it realize that the foster portion, if any, is only for the time before the adoption is finalized or at most that time when rights are being terminated.

#2 and 3 on the list are just the result of ignorance (not knowing) in think. Many of the children in foster care are special needs however but that term can refer to everything from being cross eyed to having a mother who admitted drinking/drugs all the way up to very serious medical conditions. But again, I think it's just ignorance of the system.

cmc

Unfortunately some people try to make money. I used to help/mentor this teen who was an a foster home with 3 other teen girls. They did get fed, but otherwise no attention or care. It was more like they were renting a room - no family environment at all. The family wasn't abusing them, but there wasn't any nurturing. It was basically an agreement that "if you don't cause any trouble you can live here". It was better than some other group homes teens are in, where there were lots of problems, but it wasn't really what the girls needed. There just aren't enough homes for teens. The girl I knew was trying her best, but eventually gave up, and ran away. I don't know where she went. She would be about 22 or 23 now, I hope she's made a good life for herself.

Josie

I disagree - children do cost a lot of money. In the US, 150 pounds is $222 approximately. Well daycare is $40 a day where I live. That's $200 a week. My tot is still in diapers - that's another $50 - $60 per month, or about $15 a week. Then there's clothing, food, toys, etc.
You're in for a rude awakening with your 1st!

****sorry - meant for mommy 2 be

CherishTheMoment

I had a friend who was in foster care..... her little sister got adopted, she didn't, spent from 10th grade on in her foster home. Before that she was in a ranch. You don't have to be a foster a child to adopt. Our local news does a segment it's either once a week or twice a month. They interview children who are in Foster Care, looking for their Forever Home. Some of those children were adopted by families who have never fostered a child. I have became more interested in adopting a child out of foster care. I've looked at the website of children waiting. Nope not all children do go back to their parents. I have known several who never went back home to their parents. Either the situatioin at home didn't improve or whatever reason it was, they didn't return. One little boy I was looking at that's looking to be adopted. It said that his mom didn't even care to get to know him. She signed over her rights, she didn't care, he's been in foster care since birth and he's a year old. No not all are special needs. You don't make money being a foster parent. The money goes for buying them clothes, food, school supplies, etc. The foster mom that my friend lived with, she would go to garage sales and get almost brand new cloths for her kids. She would shop in bulk. She takes in 5-6 foster kids from newborn to teens. She's been doing it for over 20 years and has adopted 4 or more from foster care. I know some people get the wrong impression on becoming a Foster parent and I think they look at the money aspect instead of what the children need.

opedial

When we fostered lol we did get an extra 100 per child as we were a therapeutic home. I do think though that you should NOT go into foster care hoping to adopt, foster care adn adoption are two separate entities.

sizesmith

I'm in the process of going through foster-to-adopt classes. I'm also the adoptive mom of a 14 month old through private adoption, and the bio mom of an older child.

No matter what path we take into motherhood, no matter how many hardships there are, and no matter what sacrifices we make, as long as what we do is best for the children, then everything we do is worth it.

Annabelle

Hmmm...I dont know but I do know that a therapeutic foster parent gets around $1,200 a month where I live. People fostering from the state make around the same amount you quoted.

Sophie

If you're looking to adopt, you should always choose foster/adopt over any other adoption option.... NOT.

Children in foster care in the USA are more deserving than children in foster care from other countries.... NOT.

My baby girl has arrived!

i agree with you on all of them except the last one..

You do get paid for fostering children, and although that money is meant to go towards the child, the fosterer will receive around Â£150 GBP (in UK) per week, just for one child!.. no child costs that amount of money... so yes a foster carer would make some money out of fostering.

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