Why do people feel like abortion is so wrong but adoption is so right?

coleluvsdane

i agree. if your against abortion then adopt those babies that would have otherwise been killed. Why would you be unwilling to adopt and would rather have your own baby while all those unwanted babies sit in foster homes...come on u pro lifers adopt those kids and stop having your own so that you can save a life you noble ppl....

so wrong of ppl to judge a woman who chooses to have an abortion that cant be an easy decision and its so nice of you to call her a killer....well arent you killing other babies chances at a good life by bring more kids into the world...

how bout this everyone stop getting pregnant until all the unwanted kids have homes...

Laurel J

I call myself pro-choice because I really am pro-choice. If a woman wants to raise her child, that's fine; if she wants to give it away, that's fine; if she wants to abort, that's fine. It's her life, and her choice is nobody else's damned business.

I don't want children. Nor could I give a kid up for adoption. These are my personal choices and I couldn't care less what anyone thinks about them. Stats tell us up to 43 per cent of US women will have an abortion during their childbearing years, so I don't know why we scapegoat the women who'll admit to it, as if it weren't a common practice. Most abortions are done in the first trimester. I don't see the sin, I don't see the moral dilemma, I don't see the problem.

Interestingly, Susan Faludi claims Operation Rescue started when Randall Terry's infertile wife started picketing clinics with a sign that said "Don't Kill Your Baby--Give It To Me." So adoption and abortion have been conflated by some since Roe v Wade was passed.

They're not the same thing, and they never will be the same thing. A twenty-minute medical procedure is not carrying baby for nine months, falling in love with it, and then giving it to someone else to raise. I know which option I felt would have done more physical and psychological damage to me, and I chose the other one. Many women have made different choices. I don't tell them what to do and I don't publicly shame them for their decisions.

derangedinsanity66

i disagree with the others. you are very right!
if i gave a baby up for adoption i would always wonder about it and think of it. if i ever saw it grown up i would probably want to steal it away...

either way the child was unwanted on some end of it.

but to the general population it is a matter of personal choice and not of what others should tell you what to do with your body.

Heather B

Abortion really has nothing to do with adoption

grapesgum

The adoption industry and the religious right wingers have tried to connect adoption and abortion since Roe v Wade. They try to force feed women the idea of adoption to prevent abortion. In the case of the adoption industry it is to get more women to breed for their customers. In the case of the religious right wingers, it is an "easy" answer (easy for them, that is) when they are challenged on how they address unplanned pregnancies.

The only effective way to reduce abortions is support programs that help women to parent their children. The adoption industry is not going to do that for sure. The right wingers won't do that either. First, they preach that unmarried women are unfit to parent. Second, that would take too much work and commitment on their part.

What do I think? It is not either or. Most women who do not choose abortion, choose parenting. And, yes, before you ask, my family does actively support a successful teen parenting program in our city. The organization discourages adoption.

Julie R

The "abortion vs. adoption" argument goes against logic and common sense. Women have abortions because of an unwanted pregnancy. Women who do not have abortions then choose whether or not to parent. Completely separate issues and, as someone else said, completely different timing.

As for abortion being "murder," more and more research is bringing to light the fact that a fetus is not a living being. It has already been proven that, until 8 weeks, a fetus is exactly the same as a cancer tumor - the cells are identical and collectively act as a cancer tumor.

Other research is beginning to show us that the consciousness and spirit of a potential newborn exist outside the fetal body and only enter the body moments before birth. Until then, abortion is merely removing a growth.

If the consciousness and spirit of the woman or man who will eventually discover a cure for AIDS needs to get here, it will find and enter a body being born. The only chance of that consciousness being squashed is if the mother it chose then relinquishes that child to another - another who may not provide the right environment for that person to carry out her/his mission.

I really really wish we would all do away with the ridiculous "adoption vs. abortion" argument. They are completely unrelated.

Debbie Downer

Adoption is not a form of birth control.

Mary G

Um Noodles this was a very personal attack and yeah I gave you a huge thumbs down and I reported you. Just saying.. Might want to tone it down a bit. Telling a cancer survivor you wish she had died and that she should have been sterilized is pretty personal and it is against the TOS of Yahoo Answers

Abortion is better than adoption and personally having made both choices, I feel no regret over the abortion, but I feel plenty of grief and anger over the adoption!

and yeah this is the answer I had written up before I got angry and had to stop in the middle of things..

Ya know Noodles you almost had an answer I could agree with, up until the part where you started calling names and trying to kick ****. I agree with your stance on abortion in so far as no man has a right to tell me what to do with my body, after that you just lost me.

As for abortion and adoption, personally having done both, I can say without doubt that abortion is much easier and less painful. Today I have no pang of regret, no unresolved grief, no PTSD from my choice. (yes it was a choice and one I made knowing exactly what I was doing, unlike adoption when I had no clue what was really going to happen to me and to my child) I can state with a certainty that abortion was the right choice when I chose it and adoption for ME was the worst thing I could ever have done. I was lied to, made to feel less than, made to feel as if I were not worthy of parenting my child, when clearly I was the perfect mother for my child. If there had been any one who spoke up and said "Don't do this crazy thing" ( and it was crazy) I would never have signed anything, no matter what was said to me. If a single person had given me just a little support I would today be the mother of four raised children instead of a mother to three raised children!

I wonder every day why people even equate these two things. Women who will abort, will abort, women who lose children to adoption, will still lose children to adoption. These two topics do not even belong on the same page. The issues behind both of these things are completely different.

Ummm Lucy C. I hate to break it to you, but some of us do not wonder every day what the child would have looked like. I don't wonder about it, I rarely think about it, and honestly I am not sorry I made that choice. It was the right thing to do at the time.

Kacey G

I do not think that life begins at conception, I think it begins when the fetus has brain waves. Therefore, I think early abortion is better than adoption, because there are soooo many children in the foster system in the US that never get adopted. Pro life people: adopt some children if you feel so strongly about it, put your money where your mouth is. Its easy to look down on someone who has to make tough choices.

jessica300

You have to do what is best for you. I've never had an abortion so can't say how I would have felt afterwards, but if you think it is the right thing to do at the time, then so be it. I am sure it is not an easy decision to decide to abort or not.

If you decide not to abort, then the next question is whether to parent or not. I have personally experienced losing a child to adoption. I don't recommend it. It is a life time of pain for 2 people - mom and baby/child/adult adoptee. I don't think that separating families creates a healthy society.

Best of luck to you.

sunny

I was given up for adoption in the early 60s. I wish I'd been an abortion.

I've never had an abortion, but would if the situation called for it.

IMHO, abortion is better than adoption.

Possum

I agree with you.
In both cases - the pregnancy is an unwanted one.
If the pregnancy is taken to term - and the mother decides to give her child away to a family of strangers - the child will forever have to live with the knowledge that his/her own mother didn't want them.
Yes - people can try to make it sound all wonderful - but that is what it is.
If you haven't lived that life (as an adoptee) - or through an unplanned pregnancy - you have no idea what that feels like.
If you have - and you disagree - that's fine.
For me - I had a scare in my teens - and I knew - without a doubt - that there was no way that I would have ever given my own child away to another.

Elizabeth

Abortion is a far better alternative to adoption.

People who state that abortion is "murder" are functioning at a very low cognitive level. Don't listen to them.

We are approaching a world population of 7 billion. The world needs more abortions.

bestadvicechick

I don't personally judge either decision. I think it's a very personal thing, and each woman in that situation much make the decision based on what she thinks is best. Afterall, as you pointed out,SHE s the one who has to live with that decision....not the rest of us. I will say, as an adoptee, I appreciate the fact that my own bio mother didn't abort me although that was probably illegal in Korea back then. While I know it may have caused her a great deal of heartache, I appreciate the fact that she chose to give me life & to give me a chance at life. Because of her, I've had the opportunity to have a wonderful childhood, great parents who love me, lots of friends through the years, a typical college experience, and finding my one true love.

So, let me get this straight. You would rather kill your child then to wonder where it is and what it's like. Don't you think that you would wonder what it would have been like if you hadn't aborted it. I would think that it would be harder to think about the fact that you didn't give the child a chance then to wonder where it is. Definitely adoption.

BPD Wife

I agree with Heather H. These are two different things. I think it was Heather H. who said in a previous answer that abortion is about ending a pregnancy; adoption is about ending parenthood. I agree with her 110%.

Abortion and adoption are both personal choices that only you can make and decide what is right for you and your unborn child. I personally believe that abortion is murder - and not just because I am adoptive parent - but I also believe that it is the woman's right to choose.

Crucio

Adoption- The only way I would ever have an abortion would be if it was for a serious medical condition, in which I would likely die. If that happened I would be responsible and get my tubes tied afterwards. If I couldnâ€™t provide or give my child the best life I would place him or her for adoption. Iâ€™d rather know he or she was alive then to have to live the rest of my life knowing that I snuffed his or her life out. Perhaps the person who would find the cure for Aids has been aborted.

I realize the world is over populated but if we didnâ€™t have some families that have 7+ biological children. Instead if they desire a very large family have some biological children and if able adopt some children as well. There are other ways to try and control population. Other then killing the unborn.

I do agree that if someone is for adoption and against abortion they should be willing to eventually adopt themselves if they are cable of doing so. I do plan to one day adopt if I am able.

bigred

Abortion is killing a human life. Adoption is giving that life a chance to live. There are many agencies and support groups to help with counseling and dealing with the feelings you have mentioned. Depending what agency you use you can choose the family you want to raise your child. Then you can choose how much of a relationship you want to have with your child and their parents.

RT 66

Adoption is life. Abortion is death. What is so hard to figure out about that?

renee70466

Abortion is ending a potential human life. Adoption is giving a baby to someone who can and will take care of it. Yes as a parent who gives up a baby you will naturally wonder who it is and how it is. The difference is that you gave it a chance to become someone.

TAT

People who are against abortion believe that ending a life is wrong no matter how old it is. Adoption has nothing to do with ending a living thing. You rather end a life instead of let a good ready family adopt it because you don't want to wonder about it. I don't want to sound harsh and I know you are in a difficult situation but terminating a pregnancy so you won't have to have emotions does seem a little selfish.

harpnut

and so many mothers who abort also constantly wonder, "i wonder what my babies favorite color would have been", or "where would they be in their lives now?"

at least with adoption you know your child is safe and alive. Don't deprive a child of their chance at life just because you don't want someone else to raise him or her.

Erin

My family adopted my little sister from Russia ten years ago. A tiny, mistreated two year old has grown into a lively, healthy, 12 year old soccer star. Her mother didn't care about her or care for her at all. One day policed stormed their house in Moscow and took her to an orphanage. We had contacted the orphanage to tell them we would like a baby girl. They called us and sent us pictures. We agreed to adopt her. It was the best decision we ever made. She had rickets and was in terrible physical shape when my aunt and uncle arrived in Moscow. It was rough once she got back to the states, especially because she had never seen a man before. It was hard for her to get used to having a dad and brothers. We had a sheet of paper with common Russian words on it, such as "milk" and "tired". She can now speak English perfectly, and she has been able to since she was 3 or 4. I can't imagine how different life would be without her. Adoption was the best thing for everyone. On her 16th birthday, we are taking her back to Moscow to see everyone and see the orphanage she lived in. Katrina doesn't even consider herself attached to Russia at all. She is part of our family, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

thinktink_13

I believe that having an abortion is killing a human, and obviously that's wrong but even if you don't belive that. If you are going to wonder what your baby is like if they are adopted don't you think you will wonder what the baby would have been like? Would they have done great things or cured cancer or just been a loving mother or father? So I would definitly go with adoption.

Robert S

You're right, everyone has their own rights.
That includes your unplanned baby.
s/he has as much right to live as anyone else.
These days you can arrange open adoptions.
That's where the birth mother has some contact.
Most children will understand that you did the best for them.
Yes, it may be a painful huge sacrifice at the time.
But surely that is better than murdering the innocent.

crunchie92

Hopefully i would never have to be in this situation. Abortion is killing one of Gods children that God made from a Christian point of view it is very wrong and statistics have proven that after abortion women are more likely to have depression and even commit suicide. At least if you are going to be unable to care for the child, then adoption. Most adoptive parents are unable to have children or just want children. At least you know that your child would go into a loving and caring family. Personally though, if you're stupid enough to ever come into this situation then you should face the consequences and learn from your mistakes. There are many organisations out there that will loan you clothes, toys, prams, cots etc for the child and help to find you accomodation. Adoption would be my vote

11deadlysinz

abortion is taking that life adoption is saving it and giving it the best chance in life and giving a couple the chance to enjoy a chil d and the bio parents get the satifaction of knowing the child is safe an cared for

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: