Why do people get angry when a pregnant woman chooses abortion over adoption?

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It sounds like you definitely made the right choice. You weren't being selfish. Sometimes abortion is the most intelligent and responsible thing to do, especially if you are not mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and financially ready to become a mother.

You did what was right for you, your life, and your future. If ignorant, obnoxious, judgmental pro-lifers want to call you a "murderer" or say that you are "selfish" because of your choice, let them. Don't let their hateful and judgmental comments bother you. Honestly, who cares what they think? As long as you are comfortable with your decision and feel you have made the right choice, that's all that matters.

I think it's really fascinating how so many pro-life Christians are so judgmental of other people's decisions... I mean, I seem to remember something in the Bible about "Judge not lest ye be judged," but oops, I guess I just imagined that.

Putting a baby up for adoption isn't as easy as many pro-lifers seem to think it is. I love how pro-lifers think that putting a baby up for adoption is the easiest thing in the world. It's not that easy -- it's much, much harder than abortion, emotionally, physically, and psychologically. Plus, there are so many unloved, miserable children without homes or families in this world already, so many unhappy kids languishing in poor foster care systems throughout the world -- why add to them? Really, what's the point of that?

I had an abortion a few years ago and I've never regretted my decision, not for a single day. My birth control pills failed and I ended up pregnant at a time when my fiance and I did not want children (nor could we afford to raise a baby, even if we DID want one). I was struggling to get through school and support myself at the same time, and I knew that my chances of finishing grad school would pretty much be flushed down the toilet if I were to have the baby. So I went ahead and had an abortion. I was only 8 weeks along, so I had a medication abortion (abortion by pill), which basically just induces a miscarriage. I bled for a few days, but it just felt like a heavy period -- nothing physically or emotionally traumatic. Honestly, it was the best decision I ever made in my life. Did people criticize me for it and call me a "murderer" and all that jazz? Of course. But I didn't let it get to me. I have absolutely no regrets about the abortion. I've never felt "guilty" about it -- I know I made the right decision. I did what was right for me and my life. And that's all that matters.

Jennifer L

Well, you touched on it. You can't make everyone happy. No matter what decision you would have made, someone would have found something to criticize.

If you had placed for adoption, someone would have said you are a terrible person for abandoning your child.

If you had parented the child, someone would have said that you are a terrible person for needing government help at one point in your life.

And you had an abortion, so someone is going to say you committed murder.

But at the end of the day, it's your decision and you needed to do what you felt was best. It's not up for anyone else to say you did the wrong thing.

Kassy

People get angry when a pregnant woman chooses abortion over adoption.
People get angry when a pregnant woman chooses adoption over abortion.
People get angry when a young pregnant woman chooses parenting over abortion or adoption.

There are a lot of people and they all believe different things, sometimes very strongly. Don't fuss about what people think if you believe you're doing what's right. No one can please everyone anyway.

anonymous

Better to have loved or lost then never loved at all.
But in the end the decision is yours, and only you can tell you how to live your life.
People just have a constant need to try and lead other peoples lives for them.

Carol c

I agree with you and would have done the exact same thing. It's hard enough to grieve the loss of a child to death or abortion. But you cannot grieve a child who is out there and still alive somewhere. If I had a chance to have an abortion, knowing what I know now I probably would have done so. Both my son and I suffered what seems to be irreparable damage.

You made the right choice .. people get angry for various reasons but we have to do what feels right to us.

Allanas

So stop taking crap from people! When they start up with their non-sense, slap them back down! You can be just as conniving and malicious.

Or, go the other way and kill them with kindness.

Say, "I'm so touched by your concern."
or
"Yes, it was a difficult decision. One I hope you will never have to face.".

You an always quit talking about it to every single person you come across. Pick a few close SUPPORTIVE people and only discuss it with them.

I COMPLETELY SUPPORT YOUR DECISION.

Like all decisions in this world, people will be judgmental and rude. You have to get past that and live your life.

LinnyG

Because they are misinformed, and are judgmental. I had an abortion BECAUSE I was adopted. I know I never recovered from being separated from my first Mom by adoption, and I dont know any first Moms who have recovered from surrendering.

I have never once regretted terminating my pregnancy. Its my choice.

You are correct. Open adoption is a scam, and a lie.

gypsywinter

If abortion had been legal back in 1964, is exactly what I would have done. Would have been nice too, if single young women could have had access to birth control pills in my state back then as well. I would have an abortion later...and have never regretted that decision not one moment in my life. I will never fully heal from losing my firstborn newborn to adoption. My surrender forced simply because MRS did not grace my last name.

You did the right thing for yourself, as you determined. You were not born to be a birthing machine for others. And adoption guarantees nothing for the child...No one can guarantee the adopted child will have a *better* life, only a *different* one.
My reunited adult child has never thanked me for surrendering her.
I am Pro-Choice...

Divine Oubliette

F'ck em and their idiotic opinion.

The best decision I ever made was having an abortion so I could finish my college education. A double major later and I am now working on my Phd and a midwifery apprenticeship with my 17 month old. Planning your family increases the likelihood of success.

F'ck everybody else and their opinions.

~Pro-Choice Momma; Have had an abortion <no regrets> and I have a 17 month old daughter <no regrets>. I believe in protecting my daughter's choice.

Abortion: There is a Consensus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo

Ps - Adoption isn't an option for my husband and I, it's parenting or abortion.

EDIT - I guess some people don't like my candor.

Oh well, get over it!

Have a nice day ; )

Stacey

People are judgemental. You made the right choice!

Pip

I wanted to raise my son which is why I didn't abort but had I known I would be coerced into surrendering I would have aborted. What should have happened would have been for me to be supported in my decision to be a parent. Nobody should be forced to do something they don't want to do so if someone wants to abort they shouldn't be forced to go through pregnancy.

Coach Alice ATC/PT

Since the beginning of time, Humans love, and feel they have a 'right' to be vocal about things that DO NOT involve them directly. Especially ethical issues, and issues that are included in religious texts. This is nothing new.

Logical Reasoning and Religion don't mix. Politics and Religion don't mix. Therefore, Logic and Politics do not mix. Finite mathematics is very hard to disprove. but people will continue to cry that 2+2=5 ... because their code of ethics, or religions teaches them that it does - even when it's clearly wrong.

Marnie B

This sounds more like a rant than a question.
My answer would be that it's better to choose life & there are many families who want to adopt. But I think the "regulars" on Yahoo Answers are the opposite: They prefer abortion & get angry if someone chooses adoption, surely she must be brainwashed or she wouldn't be ruining her child's life forever.

mommy2squee

It sounds like you're pretty angry about the choice you made- and I'm sorry you had to make it. You should definitely get some counseling to help you come to terms with that decision.

Open adoption can and does work- our son's adoption has been completely open for the last 12 years. It's not easy, it's not fun, and it requires huge amounts of trust on all sides.

But letting someone else raise your baby is not for everyone. You made the choice that you felt was right for you. Next time maybe you'll make a different decision. But I can't tell you what's right- it's your child, and your body, and you are the one who has to live with the decisions you make.

Mariah

I thought about giving my baby up. But I'm going to keep her. No matter how hard it will be I believe that is what is right, I can't imagine killing her and I don't see how that is any better than giving her up. Abortion is murder of the body. Adoption is murder of the soul! Both acts are selfish. I feel selfish for even thinking about giving my baby up.

*Starfire*

In my opinion abortion is murder. But like I said its my opinion. Everyone has their own opinions. The best thing you can do is look at what people say as just that and then follow your own heart.

itsjustme

i do not believe in abortion. my birth mother was 15 back in 1955. she took me home from the hospital and named me. but in that era who could blame her for putting me up for adoption? she loved me enough to give me life. to me you were selfish in aborting. you want control of everything. and life just isn't that way. sorry.

LadyT27

I think that you did the best thing for you. I got pregnant when I was 20 years old and I knew that I didn't want to be with the father. I was just with him to get over somebody else, BIG MISTAKE. I found myself in such a mess and didn't know what to do. Then I missed my period and was scared out of my mind. I went to the doctor and at first they told me that I wasn't pregnant, after that I got my period. The next month I missed my whole period and I just knew that I was pregnant, and I went to the doctor again and for sure I was. Neither options ever intered my mind for the simple fact as my mom could have killed me before I was born and she didn't. But she didn't take good care of me like she should have, so I had to go through foster homes still getting misstreated. Finally when I was three years old I went through adoubtion, and that was the best thing for me. Those people took me in and treated me just like I were their own child, and I've been with them since. So there was no way that I could have done either one to my child, neither the child I might have in the future. I feel if I'm going to be woman enough to lay down and do it, then I need to be woman enough to handle what comes out of it. I'm not knocking you for the way you went about what you did so don't get me wrong. But I couldn't do either one ever, unless I'm raped or something like that then I just might.

*Sweetheart*

I feel like what you are saying is selfish, saying that instead of having to deal with someone else getting the baby you love,d you killed the baby. You are aware that even though you never had the baby taken from your arms, that is means the baby never got held, or hugged by a family that would love them, or go on a date or have babies of their own? This is pretty much like saying "if I can't have you nobody can", and that's so selfish and awful...

wrappedinbubbles

I agree with Sweetheart. I am pregnant, in college and unable to raise a child right now. I think it's crap to say, 'Well, if I can't raise this baby, no one else is, either!" and then kill it. It's not a pesky bug you can just stomp into the ground!! Why do people try to rationalize that death is better than living with different parents? The aborted child will never grow, have experiences, learn, love, have friends, go to school...all because it's too 'hard' for the mother? I think I can live uncomfortably for a few months to ensure he/she has a chance at a good existence. I truly believe this baby inside me is a living human, and I could not live with the guilt of knowing I killed my baby. My personal belief is that the abortion is the most selfish act of all because you just flush that baby out like it's nothing and move on with your life. What about his/her life? It's important, too. What you do is your business. I just know I couldn't have an abortion.

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