Why do people here seem to be anti-adoption compared with those in the Baby Names section?

FlyingMonkeySwatter

There are many people on this particular adoption stream if you see their history have congregated here forEVER. They know they will be supported in their viewpoints from each other and newbies or someone who disagrees with them typically get "nuked" if they aren't agreeing with the 100% negative view of adoption. Watch how many thumbs down I get or my past answers to prove my point.

I don't have negative feelings towards this stream and I come back because there are some normal balanced discussions that can occur here. I have made friends from all sides of the discussions and I sincerely feel even the more extreme views are expressed because of their unique experiences likely 100% justify their feelings. What I don't agree with is when these same people paint the whole of adoption with their particular brush and justify the disrespectful and hurtful comments (one of which you already received LOL). Watch...someone will leap out to defend their bad behavior because they've been wronged and therefore it is justified to lash out. Fine...I've always said they won't go out to get therapy or try to resolve their anger through other means so if this helps them...great.

snowwillow20

It's easy for people to throw out adoption when they have never lived through adoption. It sounds easy, but it's far from it. Many adopted children and birthmothers suffer because of adoption. It's a decision that should not be an option, unless the children are orphans.

GEEGEE

People who have lived through adoption, from the adoptee point of view, have suffered heartbreak. Even though their AP's are often wonderful, they were separated from their birth family for many reasons, both good and bad. Of course they feel passionate, even if the passion is expressed with their opinion of what should have been. Adoption is a wonderful ideal, but ideals are rarely the way things actually turn out.

Brooke

I've noticed that in this section, it's usually the same people over and over stating their anti-adoption opinions. They very quickly make their opinions clear to anyone who posts a question or comment, and probably that drives out a lot of people who feel more positively about adoption, because they feel attacked.

Just like you, I'm not saying I approve of either or neither, just observing.

å°é»ƒ

Because we're adult adoptees.

We're more about trying to explain family preservation than just raising our hands up in the air and saying "Who cares? In adoption a loving family is created!"

I like Picklessss!

The answerers in this section are adoptees and mothers who had their child put up for adoption. You hardly hear these people's stories, that's why the rest of the world sees adoption as a jolly event and everyone involved is uber happy--it's not exactly like that. If you haven't had your child up for adoption or been adopted you probably wouldn't fully understand how these people feel.

We only hear the "positives" about adoption, usually from the adoptive parents' side.

rain cloud

As that person said- we live in the real world.

tiffany<3

because people in the adoption section have been affected by adoption.
As an adoptee it really irks me to hear people that have absolutely no clue what they are talking about go on and on about adoption.

Infant Adoption is not wonderful. I think the AP's are selfish.

Foster to adopt is the only way I agree with adoption. Plus Foster Parents holding out for an infant is just WRONG when there are thousands of older children.

So you know, most people are stupid & ignorant enough to believe there is nothing wrong in separating a baby from its mother - cause its cute and squishy and won't remember nothing cause it has awesome NEW parents and lots of love and money and a pony.

Really I don't understand either. I posted a question a few minutes ago and within seconds someone had something negative to say. I had to add to my question that I didn't want negative comments.
I just don't get it... what gives them the right to be so harsh? So hurtful? So mean? So judgmental? So racist? So anti-everything? I understand that some people have had bad experiences (I can only empathize) but I'm sure there are more good than bad stories out there. Adopting is such a difficult process on it's own (on both sides) it doesn't need all the negativity.
I truly hope that my adoption story will be a positive one, we've already been through so much... we're just hoping for some good things to happen.
I would like to add that the questions posted here (yahoo) are from many different countries with many different rules on adoption. For example, in my country there are very few domestic adoptions, as a matter of fact, there are so little that the estimated wait time was 10 years. Furthermore, children that are in foster homes can be there for a long, long period of time (many of them are never up for adoption, the birth parents won't relinquish), I know these children... I see them everyday at my work. Also, many of the children are of another race or culture, we are not allowed to adopt these children either. What do you do? Well, many hopeful parents (like us) turn to international adoption but our country won't allow us to adopt a child that is older than 3 or 4. Our choices are very limited... we don't want to be hatted and judged... we simply want to be parents.
Anyhow, I digress, let me get back to your question:
I guess on-line you can say horrible things and stay anonymous, that's what I think drives these people.

unyqrumin8r

A society that teaches women that it's okay to throw away their baby is a really sick society.

Children in foster care deserve a healthy happy loving family. If there is no family member who can care for the child, then adoption is appropriate. However, to think that adoption is the way to get out of a hot spot is really living in a fantasy world. The decision to relinquish a child for adoption affects the bmom, the bfather, the adoptee, the sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles and grandparents. This action does not take place in a vacuum. Relinquishment should be considered as a last resort.

"because we live in the real world" is not an insult. It comes from living in a fantasy world from the day we sign the papers in order to pretend we don't hurt, and having to work through our pain in order to wake up and finally live in the real world.

Rosie

We live in the real world, they live in fantasy isle.

We know more about adoption, while many people on baby names are young girls with little real life experience.

meli

I don't know... I guess people would rather keep to their own blood? But we're all connected in some way. Im all for adoption. I think it's really cool to raise someone from a different race other than yours. Or not even a different race, but you know, someone to take under your wing :] Even if they're from your genetics or not

tamara

People in the baby names catagory are usually there because they love children and like discussing them. People who come to the adoption area are either to attack the practice or to find advice on getting rid of an unwanted child. Neither of those are as open to sharing the love as the ones that have and love kids.

Sunny

Baby names, eh?

We're on it. Thanks for the tip.

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