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jlgray777
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are you serious? many children who are adopted are not babies and even babies who are adopted would just stay in the system if they were not adopted. these children are not wanted by their birthparents. Adoption is a very kind and loving thing to do. |
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rainyday
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Adoption is great. Most adoptive parents are great parents. Maybe you need to examine the reasons why you're so against it. |
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thessalonian
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You are just trying to make people react and get mad.
And if not, well.. you are wrong. |
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Don't call me Nymphadora RA
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You're obviously one cruel, cruel person. Many couples cannot have kids so adoption is their only chance to have kids. Also it is the kids only chance of a family. It's not buying babies, it's giving a loving home to children who would otherwise be all alone in the world. If you want to leave couples childless and kids parentless then fine, ban adoption but let me tell you that would be the worst decision ever. |
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Possum
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My personal view -
If an expectant mother is in any way coerced / talked into adoption - and given NO support to do what a pregnant woman is 'made' to do - parent said child - then I DO NOT agree with adoption.
(in this case it is usually about infant adoptions)
For those children that are languishing in foster care because their parents were unable to parent - for legitimate reasons (I also know of mothers that were coerced and lied to - just so someone else could acquire their baby) then I believe that they do really need a loving family to take care of them.
In both cases - I do not believe in changing names (unless the said child wishes for the name change). I believe that in most cases children should be kept in the same family if possible, next best - is within the same country/culture. I believe in the adoptee having complete information about their heritage - about their story - about where they came from. This should be about the child - if you do not honor where the child has come from - and all the 'baggage' that accompanies said child - then I believe that you truly are not adopting in the best interests of the child.
(by 'baggage' - I mean all the good and all the bad - and everything in between. The child has 'history' from before birth - the child is entitled to it all)
I also believe that unless the child is in physical danger - then contact with the mother and father (and extended family) should be maintained at all costs. This will only help the child with their sense of self worth and identity.
(something that I have struggled with throughout my life - even though I grew in a very loving environment)
Because - really - adoption SHOULD be about the BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD.
(and back to the OP - adoption agencies make too much money out of infant adoption. Sadly - it ain't going to stop - any time soon..............) |
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Superfluous
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The Village called. They're looking for their idiot. I gave them your address. :) |
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Joy M
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I don't think adoption should be banned.
I agree that infant adoption very much like baby buying, that it should not be an unregulated billion dollar industry, but a social service.
I don't believe names should be changed unless the child self-elects to change the name, I don't believe records should be sealed, nor should adoptive parents pretend that they are the natural parents.
I think if adopters cannot accept the fact that they are adoptive parents and need to pretend, they shouldn't adopt.
I think adoptive families should be given extra support for the entire childhood of the adoptee, I think adoptive parents should actually be required to be educated on possible issues for adoptees.
Children should not be used as fertility cures.
We are not capable of healing infertility, don't expect a baby to be your fairy godmother.
Potentional relinquishing parents should understand the neropsychological damage done to an infant when infant loses mother, the lifelong issues and pitfalls of adoption as well.
There should be no pre-birth matches, and women should care for the children they are relinquishing, ie they do in Australia.
That being said, there will always be a need for some children to be raised away from their natural families, adoption can be a secure alternative for abused children, and all children deserve safe homes.
I realize that adoption does not guarantee this,but I still think adoption has its place.
Although I completely understand why you find adoption so offensive. |
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♪♪BandMom♪♪
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I think you are very, VERY wrong here. It's not child stealing since the birth parents put the child up for adoption in the first place - for many different reasons. I don't see how you can feel that adopting a child is being selfish. I think it's very loving and one of the most giving things a family can do. They are giving a child a home, a family, something that child wouldn't have otherwise. My brother in law was adopted - and I thank God that he was. His birth parents were hardcore drug users, dropped him off at different people's houses and left him there for days or weeks without so much as a phone call to see how he was or let the person taking care of him know where they were or when they'd be back - no diapers, no formula, no change of clothes. My mother in law adopted him (it took almost 4 years, tons of paperwork and numerous court dates), gave him a loving home, two brothers, a sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews... He's 17 now, a great kid, a great student, a great friend... If he had not been adopted, but kept by his birthparents - who knows what kind of horrible life he may have had - if any. They signed over their parental rights willingly. And yes, it did cost my mother in law and her husband a lot of money, but they did not buy him. The birth parents didn't receive any money. The money they paid was to the court system. Anything that goes through the courts costs money. Not just adoptions. Banning adoption would leave countless children without families and everything that goes along with being a part of a family. What's right about that?! |
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Sabrina K
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Don't know if you're for real or not? I don't agree with any of your statements. Ridiculous.
My partner was put up for adoption in Korea. Luckily a loving couple here adopted him and gave him a happy, loving life, with brothers and sisters to boot.
I adore him and can't imagine him not being here and me never having the chance to meet him. |
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in COGNITO *
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Statistics show that Adoptive parents are better equiped parents than any other. We tend to spend more time with our children, have the financial means to provide for all of their need, have been checked out from top to bottom and Choose to be parents. Do you think abortion would be the more "selfless" act for the b-mom to chose?
My sons b-mom thanks me regularly for taking him (eventhough I keep telling her I'm owned NOTHING). This is a vialbe option for mothers who can't care for thire babies. And that's not always financial. She had a LARGE annuity from her dads estate, but knew that he was going to be sickand she wasn't done partying.
Yeah I was being shlfish when I was looking to adopt, But I'm also being selfish when I take a shower and eat and buy my shoes. "Selfish" doesn't equate to "wrongness". If you are doing it for "Selfless" reasons then your hear probably isn't in it. |
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waiting arms
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Perhaps your strong dislike of adoption comes from a very sad experience for you or a loved one, but is absolutely wonderful. To say that adoption is the most selfish thing you can do and that adoptive parents want to buy babies is misinformed. First of all to recognize that you are unable to give your child the life he or she deserves is the most UNSELFISH thing you could do. You are choosing to think of the welfare of your child, how could that be selfish? Second, adoptive parents don't BUY babies. There are expenses yes, but never are you buying a baby. Last but not least, to say adoption is child stealing is just cruel. And NO, it shouldn't be banned. To adopt or be adopted is nothing short of a miracle. |
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TERESA K
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Not sure why you are so against this? So many babies would spend their lives in a care instiution without adoption - that I think would be cruel especially when there are so many people out there willing and able to give children a happy and safe loving family home who are you to say this is wrong?! |
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NC Princess has had a princess♥
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How dare you make such an ill mannered comment!
I think adoption is a great thing!! It gives families the option to take care and love a child that is not their own. Some women love kids and can't have any so that gives them an option! It gives kids a chance to be loved when their birth mothers can't take care of them!! It's a hell of a lot better than abortion. Adoption gives children a chance!!
You need to re-evaluate your logic buddy!! You obviously don't used the good sense you were given!!:)(: |
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Elizabeth
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lol wtf? This doesn't make sense. THOSE KIDS ARE ORPHANS! Meaning they don't have anyone else... therefore it's not stealing. Just mind your own damn business and let people adopt children. This has seriously been the most SELFISH question I have ever heard. |
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Karen K
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Get a life Paula....most adopted children don't have the option of living w/ their birthparents. |
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christina37isfree
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People adopt children because their biological family is unable to take proper care of them or because they end up in the system and are bounced around from home to home. I would love to adopt, because I am no longer able to have children of my own. It does not make me a selfish person it just shows that I have a lot of love to give someone else. I think you need to quit being so bitter about the entire thing and maybe research how kids who are now adults feel to know they were adopted, I am sure not all had a good life but a good percentage of them did. |
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mamulechka
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Adoption should not be banned if the other parent agrees to it. If the decision of course is forced upon them like all the unwed mother who were in their teens in the 50's, yes, it's child stealing, and it's tragically wrong.
But a child who has lost his parents, has drug addicts for parents, or who's mother doesn't want him...well, isn't it best that those children actually have a family, rather than grow up in orphanages? |
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The girl by the name of Nigel ♥
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no adoption is the other way around ... it saves kids from not having a familly
but then again i do kind of` agree that children are not items but people and should not be Sold
i like the idea but ur rite they should have different systems like not Selling the kids
but think about this if the kids couuldn't be adopted then what would happen to them if their parents dont want/cant take care of them they'd be on the friggen streets
thanks to adoption kids can live normally and not in centers
l absolutly love adoption |
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sassy.nurse
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This is the most stupid and closed minded question that I have read so far! Obviously your heart has waxed cold! I adopted a baby girl, and I only pray that her attitude does not turn out like yours! No to banning adoption, but yes to banning idiots!!!!!!! |
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nica51029
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i disagree. i do think that adopting is a way of giving these children a good future, though some people like you see it as something like buying a secondhand shirt from thrift stores out there. and it's not child stealing either, it's the parents' fault.they make these kids without even thinking if they have the capacity of giving them good lives.the birthparents are more selfish than what they seem to you. |
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Brown Eyed Girl
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Just who are they stealing the child from? Lots of children in the US and in foreign countries don't even know their birthparents and have been dumped - literallly dumped somewhere. Adoption gives lots of children a chance that they may not have had in the first place. It makes me sad to know that you feel this way, I know quite a few people who were adopted, and I can't imagine my life without them. I would never go for a ban on adoption. |
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CrazyTrain
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I think it's time to ban YOU!
Where shall all these children go if their birth parents do not want them or if they are medically/mentally/physically unable to take care of them or they have been abused and/or neglected and keeping them in the home would only cause harm????
Should babies/toddlers/ older children etc etc etc..... be walking/crawling around on the street by themselves?
SERIOUSLY!!!! If someone doesnt want a child.......what other option does a child have if "adoption was banned"...??
PLEASE STOP POSTING ANYTHING ON THIS SITE CAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY IGNORANT AND I TRULY HOPE YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY CHILDREN OF YOUR OWN |
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Melissa
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You are an IDIOT !!!!!!!!
While there is a blackmarket for babies, LEGAL adoption is a very unselfish act (by the adoptive and biological parents).
What's the matter...we're you adopted? Adoption is better than throwing an unwanted child in the dumpster.... |
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scorpio_queen_2003
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look you are obviuosly doing this for fun. go play with the traffic
and who says adoption costs? i dont remember my parents paying for me! |
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Sherri
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I think that you are a horrible person for saying that adoption should be banned. Myself and my two sisters and brother were adopted. I was three years old and if I would not have been taken from my biological family and put up for adoption I would have probably died. I went through so much abuse when I was with my biological parents that I could not imagine what would have come of myself and my siblings. I am thankful everyday that I was adopted into a family that took very good care of us and they did not adopt for your so called selfish reasons. My adoptive parents were not able to have a child of their own so they took us in and I am so glad they did. You are cruel and wrong and you need to rethink the whole ban adoption thing. |
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Crystal
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Wow! I guess you are assuming that everyone who is adopted has at least one loving family member willing and able to care for them. Would it shock you to learn that that is not always true? |
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Proud mommy of beautiful savanna
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if i could smack you up side the head believe me i would, that is by far the WORST thing anyone has ever said on this... maybe if you knew a little more about what you just said you wouldnt be saying what you are. the reason adoption exists is so people dont have to KILL a living human and can give that baby a better life with a family that may have been waiting for 3 years
....
... |
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Malaika
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Hi Paula, what do suggest should be done with children who are left orphaned?
Some people are willing to adopt children which includes feeding, clothing, bathing, financially and emotionally supporting including paying for university fees. If you could point out what exactly is wrong with this i may feel inclined to listen to what you have to say.
May i also point out that children are NOT bought, unless you are referring to child trafficking?
People who agree with Paula and are giving thumbs down to the majority of the answers, what is your reason behind this? |
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