Why do people think adoption was created so infertile couples can have a baby?

Bo Peep

I believe with all my heart that you can be a replacement family - you can take the place of a family that for whatever reason is missing, you can offer the love and support that should have been present in a child's life. However, a child cannnot be a 'replacement child'.

When we adopted our beautiful daughter, we were sitting at our 'matching panel' meeting where they decided if we were right for each other and the person chairing the meeting introduced us by saying that adoption was a "positive choice for us." Meaning (I suppose) that it was not a 'last resort' or a 'better than nothing' decision....

We planned to adopt long before we had our bio children, and we could have (presumably) brought another child into the world but I just knew that there was a child out there who needed us - and we found her. She is the air I breathe - my heart - my world. Without her our family would have a major piece missing.

However the phrase 'Positive choice' has troubled me...does that mean that they consider that for infertile couples adoption is not a positive choice?

We didn't go into adoption to be our daughter's saviours...but everyday she grows more lovely and it hurts my heart to think of her being stuck in fostercare without the love and support of a family around her...Today in her family she is thriving, flourishing even - and it is a joy to watch her grow.

I have to say that sometimes, people who know she is adopted, say to us, 'she's so lucky to have you' but I absolutely shudder at this....

When you hold a newborn in your arms, or watch your toddler take his first steps, your first thought is not, 'he's so lucky to have us'.

When I look at my daughter I thank God for the joy that she is to our family and for the blessing she is to me...For our family adoption was all about her - giving her the home and family she richly deserves and which, through no fault of her own, was not available for her when she was born.

EDIT: I should add that I think adoption can be a positive choice for many infertile couples too - being a good parent does not depend on whether or not you can give birth.

Marie C

It wasn't originally created for this purpose. Adoption was meant to be a solution for ORPHANS, whose parents had died. Unfortunately, it has morphed into something else over this last century. I hope and pray that eventually, people begin to understand once again that adoption should be about what is best for the child, and nothing else.

wynn

I thought adoption was to provide homes for children of all ages who have no home.

tish

it wasn't... adoption was about providing parentless children with homes; not childless parents with kids. but somehow, it morphed into that. especially when the cash started flowing...

Silly me, as someone who suffers from infertility, I never knew that I WAS ENTITLED to another's child. I guess I'll run right out and demand one from a young, pregnant teenager (sarcarsm, for those who didn't recognize it).

MamaKate

Because somewhere along the line (about the 1930s) adoption became a BUSINESS rather than about helping CHILDREN.

Mei-Ling

*wince*

I bet a lot of people who adopted because of infertility will want to bite your head off now...

And as much as you have a point with this question... there's something called 'tact'. O.o Use it.

Independ"ant"

Because they are desperate and delusional and will do/think anything that will get them a baby.
Its worse than those self centered AP's that adopt and still collect money from the govt and justify requesting it by saying its going to pay for a-child's college. I'm sure they'll want credit for that as well.

AdoreHim

I never said that adoption was created so we who cannot have children could have a baby- however it is a great way, don't you think. How else would we become parents. And even if that was not true - is so much better than aborting the child, BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE. Questions like this make me very angry

painfully_honest

Why are you assuming that all people think that?

Gaia Raain

Adoption isn't just for infertile couples! You forget about single men and women who either can't, or don't want to get into a relationship; people who want to save the world one child at a time; people who want a "rainbow family", etc.

Don't you know these people are ENTITLED to someone else's child, regardless of ethics??? Psh, horrible people like you are keeping needy orphans around the world from being adopted into rich American families where they'll get college educations and pools and ponies!

Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot

I know a couple that had two bio kids within about three years of being married. They wanted a huge family, and she's diabetic and had really nasty pregnancies. Her second was born special needs, and they realized they COULD parent a child with special needs, so they went on to adopt several other special needs kids. They did also adopt a baby privately.

shuffles

I'm not sure your motive for the question but it was not created for infertile couples but don't you think that infertile couples should be allowed to be parents? Sometimes couples who choose to adopt because they can't have a biological child can make better parents than couples who don't have any reproductive issues because having a child is a very concious and thought out choice for them not an unplanned accident. Food for thought!

Sure, that's an assumption many people make. People are really ignorant, and unashamed of their stupidity. I think its great for anyone, gays, environmentalists concerned with creating less carbon footprint, or anyone who can certainly provide a loving home.

iiLoveMuzik

uhm.... isnt that good though why are u saying it liek its something bad aalot of ppl go adopt so they can get money... and thats when they end up treating a baby like ****....

n e advice?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApRWgUj1L3_5nynmcZmzjgvty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080716101537AATzX3k

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