Why do some children in foster care remain with one family while others get moved around?

My son was removed from his first family at 2 months and placed with a foster family that raised him until we brought him home at 2 years old. He was only with the one family and he was adored and loved there. They have remained a part of his life.

But then I hear stories of children who seem to only stay with families for 3 or 6 months at a time or have been with more than 10 families in 5 years. Why is that?

Our child's caseworker told us it was often due to a "personality conflict." But what does that mean? These children are in pain, neglected, perhaps even abused, is it really any wonder that they may have some behavioral issues?

And shouldn't foster parents be trained in dealing with behavioural issues? Do they really think that shuttling these kids around from home to home is going to improve their esteem or their behaviour?

If a foster family has a high turnaround of kids, should that not mean they are not fit to be foster parents?

I would think it's in a child's best interests to remain with one family until they can either be reunited with their family or adopted. It is very clear that my son benefitted from being a part of one great family before he was adopted by us.

Thoughts?

P.S. I'm not trashing foster parents here, more the process.

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

Often times it is the inability of the foster parents to understand the children. Children act out, their behaviors are explosive, harmful, disruptive and it is hard to deal with and parent children with these behaviors....I have seen it and when you are in the trenches with these youngsters 24 hours a day....it is just plain hard.

Sometimes, even often times, f/parents do ask children to be moved and then the next ones come and they are...moved...and then the next and that is suspect. Foster care units do take this in to consideration and talk with the parents and try to understand why and then maybe even pull their licensure.

There are awesome f/parents too, more than not. They will chase these kids to the end of the earth and do everything to break through the hurt and trauma and try to assure these kiddos that the world isn't always painful....

Sometimes too, f/parents foster so they are in the place to adopt a child should that child become legally free and with that mindset they do not want to "put up" with the behaviors that these children do display....sadly....because as we have grown to realize multiple placements mean more attachment issues, etc.....

Hope this helps....

Neil

You're right. One good place for two years is much better than several places, good or bad, in those two years. What happened with your son is how it should be.

Why one kid lands and stays in a good place while another bounces around is largely (but not entirely) a matter of luck. What's also true is that some kids, even in infancy, are just easier than others.

silverfish

well my mom is a foster parent and we have seen that stuff many times. right now we have a girl who has been with us for about a year and a bit and another foster brother thats been ehre for only 3 mnoths we also have had a girl for jsut 3 days. forst kids get switched for many reasons. many kdis develop things as they grow and maybe its not the foster parents fualt that they get switched but there own. my foster sister got switched to our house last year, she didnt get along with the kids there and they would bother her and she would hit them in return only because she was raised with her parents hiting her.so she got switched to our house where we dont have kids her age or younger to bother her or that she can bother. my foster brother got switched to our house because his foster family were getting old and thought it was to retire. i think many families have there diffrences and the social workers want to make sure there at the right home. but i know that they try not to switch there homes because they udnerstand how much it effects them but sometimes they have to do it because they could be happier at a diffrent place or they might grow better at a diffrent home with diffrent people. many foster parents have been trained to handle kids and foster parents have many levels of training and every year they take a course to go up another level. but many parents may have better expeirnce or went to school for a career in special needs or pre school or counceling or some sort of thing like that which is ALWAYS better so many kids who develop a personality that need that extra in there life are sometiems switched to a home that has that.

mscrawdad

Interesting question. You wouldn't believe the number of reasons there are for children being moved from home to home! Every time the bio parents move to a new county, the children have to be moved too. If the children are under a protective order from the courts they are moved if it is suspected the bio parents know where they are.

Also, the agency workers are so overwhelmed with workload that it is impossible for them to know every little thing in every child's background. So they may inadvertently place the child in a home that is inappropriate for that child for numerous reasons. Say, the foster home is only set up for children without special needs and the worker doesn't know that and takes a child to them. The foster parents may agree to take them on an emergency basis until another placement is found and end up with them for months.

When they site "personality conflict" it could mean a million things. It is a term meant to protect the child in many cases. Say they place a 10 year old boy in a home with younger children and he becomes agitated easily with the younger children. Now they've learned that this child would be better suited to a home with older children or with no other children, etc. It could also mean that the child is unhappy and complains about the foster parents or vice versa.

The foster system is quite broken. It needs to be revamped from the bottom up. And the fault doesn't lie with any specific group. And until we reach children in need before they are damaged beyond repair no foster system will help them.

Bizzi

Because their are absolutely no set federal/human rights standards for foster care..

It's up the the discretion of the individual business.

It's like what the ombudsman (in my area) said.. he knows how many erasers they use or pencils paper but he's not allowed to check on the children...
Or investigate complaints...

Msrichards

This question is for the person was in foster care that posted all of the times they were moved. I am part of a Christian organization that is partnering with a private foster care program to create a school specifically for foster children. It will be a school 5K-12th grade. The idea and basis for the school is that no matter which home the child is placed in, their school remains the same until they graduate. Transportation and clothing provided by the organization. We fell like this would create at minimum a stable and familiar environment for the child that would be permanent. We believe that even if the child is placed back with their biological family the child could and should remain at the school until they graduate. Do you think that this could help? I would love your input. Blessings

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