Why do some choose to blame their problems on adoption?

Lori A

Sorry again, but it added much pain and self esteem issues to my life. It contributed to a substance abuse problem that I may or may not of had any way, but most certainly occupied many years of my life.

Why is it you can't get past everyone blaming? Why can't you see that by telling their stories the people who are obviously from the other sides of adoption than you are simply trying to get the word out there that adoption needs reform. That it is in fact too late for them and they do not do it for themselves?

My question to you is do you want to see adoption stay exactly the way it is? I don't. I want it to change. I want fewer and fewer children to suffer. what do you want?

Heather B

They don't that I'm aware of

No hurry along and go hurl abuse at rape victims and child abuse victims for their 'whining' (sarcasm)

Happy Christmas

PhilM

Just so you know...

You can't say a bunch of offensive things and then say "I am not trying to offend" and be believed. You are trying to offend.

So what do you blame your nasty attitude on? Who screwed you up? Or do you take responsibility for being an awful person? Is this your choice?

My problems are many and varied. I am responsible for some of them. Others are responsible for others. For the most part, I have chosen to work through my problems.

But adoption is harmful. I am not blaming it for my "problems." I blame adoption for hurting people. Whether or not they develop problems from that hurt, the hurt is real.

If you can't deal with that fact, that's your problem.

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

1. Yes, All adoptees blame ALL of their problems on the fact they were abandoned by their natural parents and have dealt with grief/loss and Identity issues their entire lives but that in no way affected their lives in a negative way....their problems were just....there.

2. All adoptees would still have problems...............no matter what.

3. Yes, adoptees do avoid responsibility at ALL costs.....it is in their nature. <choke>

4. NO OFFENSE taken <cough>.

5. Adoptions has been wonderful...........all of the people I know who have been adopted are very COLORFUL people...before, their lives were so, so....black and white and grey.

6. Don't be sad OllieO....truly.

Now.....someone on here has agreed with you.....are you happy now.

You need to build a bridge and get over your issues and stop trying to convince everyone all is Falalalala in Adoption Land, it isn't. If you had a wonderful adoption expereince then kudos to you, but many have not. Their grief is real to them, so understand and leave it be.

Mei-Ling

Nope!

In my case, I gained one thing for everything I lost. But IMO, I shouldn't have had to lose anything to begin with.

Lose Mandarin - learn English
Lose Taiwan culture - gain Canadian culture
Lose Taiwan parents - gain Canadian parents

I really don't see the "better off" notion here. I just see a balance of the two.

[Is it not true that you would still have problems?]

My main 'problem', as you would like to classify it as, would be that my mother "abandoned" me and that I have low self-esteem because of it. This is where you say, "But Mei-Ling! Your adoptive parents wanted you SO MUCH, they chose YOU!"

But that logic only proves that I had to be "unchosen" first. Perhaps this doesn't bother you, but it sure as hell bothered me.

If I had not been adopted, I wouldn't have that particular problem as I would still be with my mother.

I would have complained about other things in life, no doubt - but nothing so heartbreaking as losing my own mother and then only to be told by strangers "get over it! After all your adoptive parents wanted you, what is your problem!?"

So yes, I do blame certain things on adoption and I have every right to. Losing my mother just happens to be ONE of them, and it WAS caused by adoption.

But you go back under your rock now and pretend that adoption is perfect, okay?

sunny

You're 'saddened'?

You really ought to get some help for that. Being sad for strangers' problems, real or imagined, is not good for your health.

Aren't you blaming bad adoptee's problems for your saddness?

How much of you life does this take up?

There are some really good pharmaceutical products that might help you focus on your own issues, or talk therapy, too...

I wish you peace in all your worries for the 'other' adoptees.

Anha S

I smell desperation and grasping at straws. Its kind of stank. I own my own crap. I don't own what someone else did to me. Am I trying to muddle through it the best way I know how? Yup. Too bad its not the ponies pooping candy floss way of coping, because I have a sneaking suspicion that its easier living in denial than it is facing up to the thorn in my side.

aloha.girl59

Wow, Ollie. Can't even take Christmas Day off from hate?

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

I don't. My being adopted has nothing to do with the fact that i can't budget! LMAO

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