Why do you think it is that anti-adoption (excluding foster adoption) folks are not admitting that there are?

Randy B

I don't have to admit it. I've been blessed enough to be living it and my children are doing well also. Thats not to say that it's the same with everyone experience though and I think that in society we tend to only complain about the bad things we see or feel and we are less likely to celebrate the good. Kinda like the old squeaky wheel getting the grease.

PhilM

Are you willing to admit there are good outcomes from abortion?

I don't deny good outcomes. I deny that they are relevant in determining the moral justification (or lack thereof) of adoption.

cantstopLinnyG

you must not ever read here.

Flying Monkey #073177

I can't admit to any good because in my personal experience the bad has outweighed the good in almost every way. I'm not here to yammer on about what I THINK might happen for others. As I have stated time and time again the ONLY voice I have is my own and the ONLY truth I know is the one I have lived. I am only qualified to speak of my own experience and that experience is about as negative as they come.

Anha S

a good outcome in no way negates the beginning. And good outcomes are in no way a reason to ignore the bad ones.

DevonChaos

The outcome may be good. The beginning of the adoption may have been a total sham though. Just because a child comes out the other end of adoption and is happy and healthy and strong, that doesn't mean that it is all good.
What if there was coercion? What if the child was given up when the first parents really wanted to parent? Does it negate that just because the child is happy? Not at all. A child could be kidnapped, and have no idea about it, and grow up to be a brain surgeon, have a happy family, and love life. Does this mean that in this instance kidnapping was okay? Nope.
Same goes for adoption. Just because the child ends up in a good place doesn't mean that adoption was necessarily the best choice. Who knows what would have been if they had been parented by their first family? No one. You never can tell.

Good outcomes are great. I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear that someone is okay with their adoption situation. This doesn't mean that they ALWAYS would have been worse off had they not been adopted. In some cases, where there is abuse or neglect, the child should be placed with people who will treat them properly. This isn't always the case though.

birthdad in hell

I am anti adoption industry not anti adoption.i have admitted more than once that each case is different and there are justifiable reasons for relinquishment. now with that said i ask you and all others that post why if adoption is so good are the majority of adoptees either in reunion or trying to be? why so many books on adoption and the issues it creates if it's such a good thing?

SJM

I don't care how many good outcomes result from adoption. Every bad law ever made anywhere at anytime had a good outcome for someone, or it wouldn't have been enacted. Good outcomes have nothing to do with bad laws. Whether people feel good or bad about adoption has nothing whatsoever to do with sealed records and civil rights violations.

Mei-Ling

I don't deny the good cases. Why? Because:

We're SURROUNDED by them. We don't need to BRAG about them.

I don't forget that they exist. I'm WELL aware that they DO exist. I'm not blind or stupid.

I question the ethics of good adoptions. Just because someone had a good experience doesn't mean their adoption was ethical.

It's like someone who was adopted from, say, Korea. Their parents may have been poor and they were pressured into relinquishment. Their child is adopted overseas. The child grows up happy and loved. It does NOT mean the relinquishment was ethical.

I had a good experience, a great childhood, and awesome parents. My experience WAS GOOD.

But I still question adoption because of the BASIS upon which I got my good experience. The world is not black and white.

Gershom

because i don't see "good" happening from adoption.

:)

23 year old texas female married

Being anti adoption, we don't believe that all adoption outcomes are bad but we want people to stop trying to pressure young women, single women, and any woman that is pregnant to put her baby up for adoption.

I am sorry you can't have kids of your own. Blame it on the environment that you were brought up in. Blame it on the bottles you drank formula out of because apparently some plastics contain the chemical bisphenol A that might cause infertility.

But honestly I am married I am 23. I have not ever sought to put any of my 3 kids up for adoption. But I have been asked more than half a dozen times if I want to place my children up for adoption. With my second child I was asked right after giving birth. With my third right after I announced I was pregnant at church. And other times by complete strangers at the grocery store.

I am glad now that people thought my first daughter was a Porcelain doll when she was an infant. I don't understand why they thought that but ok at least they weren't trying to adopted her. That didn't happen until she was 6 months old. A woman at the grocery store at Save-a-center Metairie Louisiana on Clearview. Yes I remember the location.

kateiskate

Maybe because we lived the negative side of it??

You're an adoptive parent. You didn't experience loss. You gained a child.

I lost a set of parents, a culture, a country, a language, and a sense of identity. No one likes to acknoweldge that. They like to tell me I should be grateful I wasn't aborted or dumped in a dumpster.

No one needs to go around reminding people the good outcomes of adoption. There is too much money in adoption at stake for the agencies to let people forget the good that comes from adoption. I am just here to share a contrasting opinion.

Garri M

They haven't seen the good adoptions.

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