Why do you think that AP's close "open" adoptions?

tish

in a nutshell, i think it's usually an irrational fear of "sharing love" with the f-parents; or they never intended to have an open adoption in the first place.

opedial

Many reasons.

-Some may be threatened as some say
-Some may feel not in child's best interest
-Some bio moms may be poor influences (such as drugs alclhol)
-Some a-parents may tire out of the visits
-Some birth parents may not live up to their end, and have no shows or boundary issues
-Some children may not want to see bio mom
-Families may move away making it impossible

There are many reasons, some "legit" and some selfish.

snowwillow20

I'm not an AP, so this would be speculation, but I would think it might be fear of the bmom. She might want her baby back, the aparents might fear the baby would love the bmom more, the bmom might be abusive and I think they might think that they are doing what's best for the baby.
Just speculation.

Laurel J

1) They got what they wanted.

2) For them, raising kids is all about them, not the welfare of the kid.

3) Other (I'm sure there are cases in which an open adoption could be bad for the child).

LindsayM

threatened by the bio parents. you cant compete with a genetic bond.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

lazy and or scared of losing the child's love.

Marsha S

Adoptive parents must look out for the interests of their adopted children and family. Sometimes that means they cannot continue a relationship with a birth family. Relationships are a two-way street and both parties have to make it work. When you get married you promise "until death do you part" -- but sometimes it doesn't work out that way even though you really wanted it to work out. I think it can be like that.

BPD Wife

I can speak from experience a little bit here.

When we signed an open adoption agreement, we had every intention to keep the bio parents and the extended family (grandparents, aunt, and cousins) involved in our son's life. Sadly, our son's bio parents walked away from that agreement. They told the grandparents that they want nothing to do with the child and try to deny he even exists.

Despite that, we still wanted our son's grandparents, aunt and cousins, involved with his life. His aunt and cousins visited once and I kept in contact with them via letters, pictures, etc. A few months later, we were told by the grandparents that the aunt had decided it was not good for her to stay involved in our son's life. I was sad for our son, but I would never pressure anyone into doing something they were uncomfortable with.

However, about a year later, the aunt wanted to come back into his life. At this point, I said no. As a parent who is concerned with my son's welfare, I cannot have someone who flip flops back and forth with wanting a relationship. I'm sure that she feels that it was me who closed the relationship, and in some regards, I guess I did. But only after she made the choice to walk away and told us that she had no desire to know us any longer.

Fortunately, we still have a wonderful relationship with the grandparents. I cannot imagine our lives without them. The only way that I would ever "close" the adoption with them is if they somehow put my son in danger but I cannot ever see that occuring. However, my son comes first so any decisions I would make on opening/closing a relationship would be based on his well-being.

Sophie

I've never been in that kind of situation. I'm guessing that either they change their mind or don't think its best for the child.

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