Why don't people consider adoption more often?

sk8ermom

Actually the "fly by night" ones seem the best and most ethical because they are started to actually help people. Eventually greed steps in. I love "Little bit of Heaven" and "heaven Sent" but one of the worst ones I have seen (eithics wise) is Bethany. A large well known agency.

People need to give more concideration to keeping their children. I am working with a mom right now that really, really, needs to parenting this baby. She is a great mom to her other kid and I hope she see's that she will do fine with this one too. Don't forget the option to parent.

To those that think it is more "humane" (WTF?) to kill the child. Holy Crap! And why would you think just bible thumpers would disagree. Wow!

kidmindi

I am an adoptee and an adoptive mom. So my answer comes from those points of view.

Being adopted is not easy. I, personally had a lot of emotional issues stemming from being adopted. I had self esteem issues, abandonment issues, and trust issues just to name a few.

Having talked to my own first mom and other first moms, I know that first moms also carry a lot of pain and have emotional issues from surrendering their children.

So when a woman is faced with an unplanned pregnancy, she has a lot to consider. Does she think she will be able to raise a child (or another child) at this point in her life? Does she think she can live with having an abortion and any emotional issues she may have from the effects of having one? Does she think she can live with relinquishing a child and always wondering where it is and if it is ok?

All of these things are serious things to think about and all of them have their own difficulties. Each woman, faced with an unplanned pregnancy, will have to weigh all of her options and decide which is best for her and her child.

Adoption IS a choice for unplanned pregnancies, but not as easy as it may sound to the general public who have not experienced adoption first hand. It is not the warm fuzzy, win-win situation that the media portrays it to be.

R.E.

Easier said than done. Take a little venture into the adoption industry as a birth mother, you'lll have your answer.

Also, why should a rape victim be forced to carry a pregnancy, go through labor (which CAN kill you), then relinquish their child to a stranger? Am I the only one who sees this as re-victimization of the victim?

P.S. I am an adult and have several adult friends who have NO desire to reproduce. So, that pretty much debunks the everyone wants to pass on their genes myth.

And Anthony- I am not a doctor, as I'm sure you are not. And I can think of a handful of situations in which your statement regarding abortion NEVER being necessary is inaccurate.
Severely diabetic women.
Multiple pregnancies in which several things can go wrong
Separation of the placenta which can cause bleeding and death.

It's not your uterus, stay out of it.

tish_part deux

let me guess, you've never been pregnant or made an adoption plan.

EOM

ETA: anthony, let me guess, you're not a gynecologist.

EOM, deux.

Dan B

then maybe you should give your own baby away. or is that not a good idea anymore?????

grapesgum

"Why not consider adoption?" Adoption is extremely painful for the mother and child. The dark ages of employment discrimination against single parents is fading far into the past. For the most part, single parents are perfectly able to feed their babies so have no need to give them away to strangers.

"How can we encourage women ..." I do not. I discourage women from considering adoption. It is cruel to the mother and the child.

There are no good adoption agencies. Any organization whose goal is to separate families has flawed ethics.

You are correct. There are no easy answers. People can have a wonderful life if they give parenting a chance and if we, as a civilized culture, provide adequate support to natural parents. Sadly, instead, we pounce on pregnant women who are experiencing difficulties and try to force adoption as a way to feed the baby hungry adoption industry.

If you think that women should have the right to choose abortion, why are trying to cram adoption down their throats?

smarmy

You're either incredibly naive or you want a baby. Adoption will always have a place, it would just be nice if it went back to what it was intended to be, instead of a billion dollar industry that supports separating children from their families. Why not support family unity instead and give these children (who do grow up) a shot at identity, ancestry, medical back grounds and the same civil rights as any non adoptee.

Tarra

Dunno. Your opinion definitely counts and I think it's fair to share as long as it remains an 'Opinion'. Personally, I'm beyond pro-choice. I'm pro-abortion over adoption. I think termination is the most sane, and humane. but then - only my opinion. The bible thumpers can take a flying leap if they don't care for my opinion. :giggle:

Pip

"Why don't people consider adoption more often?" - Why should they? Why not encourage them to parent? If they don't want to parent and want to abort why encourage them to surrender? Nobody should be forced to surrender their child if they don't want to go through pregnancy or be a parent?

"Seriously, if someone is undergoing an unwanted pregnancy, why not consider adoption?" - Seriously, do you know how many unwanted pregnancies happen? I don't know the answer to that and I doubt very much if you do. Again why "encourage" someone to go through pregnancy just to supply a couple with a baby. That is cruel and unless you know what it is like to surrender a baby you shouldn't be encouraging adoption.

"I am no pro-life advocate. I seriously think women have the right to chose particularly if her health is at risk and certainly victims of rape and incest should have that choice. Nonetheless women should have the right to chose. How can we encourage women who are in the predicament of unwanted pregancy to chose adoption or open adoption?" - You've answered your own question, women have the right to choose so NOBODY has the right to tell ANY woman that adoption is better than abortion. Anyway open adoptions can be closed so unless it becomes a criminal offence to close an open adoption the natural mother doesn't have a chance. I do know what it is like not to raise my only child for no better reason than that's what my parents wanted but I would rather have aborted than deal with the pain of not raising my son.

Aislin

How about you carry a pregnancy, give birth with all the risks it entails, give the child to strangers the moment its born, rely on only the word of strangers for the safety of your child, be only told what others think you need to know, be told you aren't a mother over and over and then you get back to me one why.

momo.

Because I don't like the idea of someone raising my kid. If I can't have my kid, then no one can. I got an abortion and I know where my kid is. But if he was put up for adoption, I wouldn't know where he is, or even know his name. I wouldn't have closure with adoption.

And once that I found out the "open" adoption was a lie, the choice of adoption went out the window.

Bethany

Frankly, there's no way I'm putting my body through the stress of a pregnancy just so I can hand the baby over to someone else. No way, no how, not happening.

Then add to that the emotional pain of giving someone away whom you've carried for 9 months?? I don't know how anyone does it.

A woman should never be forced to carry a pregnancy to term. Period. A women should never be encouraged to surrender her child. Period.

Women should be talked *in*to parenting, not talked *out* of it.

a chick

Why would anyone really want to pass on their genes and that be the end of it?

There is a progression in pregnancy... to start it's mostly the mothers body...arguably an 'annex' or worse. It ends with the birth of a life, to whom the mother (and Father) is inextricably connected.

In times gone by it was nature / natural to have babies. Then it became more complicated as families faced the need to support children which are not fixed by just food... but income, relationships and social status... Not to mention the choice to 'terminate'.

Blobs of cells are easier to abort than giving away a fragile human life, part of the parents family!

Adoptees should adopt the parents too, maybe vulnerable parents and children would gain from having 'stable sponsors' , who might act as surrogate parents / grandparents / financial support, and the adoptors have a meaningful relationship, providing a stable grounding for the little life.

It'd be good for the baby, it'd have the relationship with it's parents, and have the support of a Government Approved Surrogate Step Family.

DragonWarrior

Because maybe they dont want this reminder of their discrepancies showing up again 20 years later looking for their mama..

Anthony

Your idea would and should be the only alternative if we can overturn Roe vs. Wade.
There is no medical need for an abortion. Even former former surgeon general Everret C. Koop admitted that there has never been one case of a medically nessesary abortion. Nor has there been one performed to save the life of the mother. Not a single documented case. Koop was no pro-lifer either, just a man telling the truth. Therefore there is no need to keep abortion as a medical procedure.

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