Why is anyone AGAINST opening adoption records?

shejam6

i think you are right.,..if i was adopted i would want to know. i have the right to.. it is my business to know.. if my birthparent dont want to be found.. i really wouldnt want to look for him or her. but would like to at least know their name

Cam

I also agree that adoptee's should have access.

But birth moms are allowed options that can deny this to their child placed for adoption. Some just don't want to be found.I also think some adoptive parents prefer this as well so not to ever feel threatend.

Sadly, the person most effected by this is the adoptee. I personally don't think either party has the right to deny information from any adoptee. For better or worse everyone deserves the right to know where they came from.

amyburt40

First adoptee access is not about foster care. Adoptee access is for infant adoption. Foster care adoptees are usually allowed access to their records.

In two state courts, the privacy issue was thrown out on its ugly rear end because in adoption, natural moms are giving up their rights to include familial privacy. Also in adoption another human being is born with the same rights as everyone else in this. It has been statistically proven that 99% of natural mothers and fathers want contact from their children in five states now going onto six.

The reasons why adoptees' records are sealed is to protect both adoptive parents and agencies. Adoption agencies treated our mothers horribly. They continue to shame and humiliate them. Do not answer for the mothers. They will speak for themselves. They have spoken overwhelmingly clear on this issue. It is not them that impedes adoptee access. Why are adoptees treated as criminals all because of the status of our birth? Agencies don't want us comparing notes. My adoptive parents paid good money. I paid good money and my own natural mother paid good money. How about following the money trail in adoption? You will find the corruption follows the buck.

Gershom

Why would anyone be against this? because they don't understand the laws, their origin, and how they came to be sealed.

they don' t understand that opening our records isn't about reunion, its about restoring our rights as citizens of this country. That treating us like criminal children for our entire lives, is nothing short of discrimination.

Contact preference forms can be entered into files to let us know if our families lost by adoption want to be contacted or not.

Someone said that we need to stick by the laws we commit too, adoptees haven't commited to ANYTHING. We didn't chose to be adopted, we didn't go into any legal contract. We haven't signed any papers, it was done against our wills, as infants and small children.

Records weren't originally sealed from adoptees in the first place. They were sealed from the public first to protect the adoptees from the public shame and stigma of being an illegitimate child. Then they were sealed from the parents of the adoptees, and then eventually the adoptee after the pressure of Georgia Tann * a new book is out about her if anyone would like to read her horror onto adoptees * in short to hide coverups and illegal child trafficing.

Mothers were never promised secrecy majority of the time, I know this from my own mother, i've seen her records. There is nothing about secrecy on them, but the state says she was promised it. AMFOR also has a page of mothers that have signed a petition claiming they were never promised secrecy.
Harvard University did a study on mothers who have surrendered in Maryland, 100% of them wanted reunion.

And even if they WERE promised secrecy, an unlawful promise of secrecy to a human being over another human beings HUMAN rights, isn't justified. It can't be legally upheld and states are starting to recognize that.

Why would anyone be against opening records grump? Ignorance and hidden agendas.
Can you imagine the class action lawsuit adoptees could have once we DO get access to our records. How many adoptees will THEN finally be able to PROVE the outright LIES on our birth certificates? How many of us have different birthdates, times and places and parents of birth on our original ones? Records of birth haven't been denied to, and falsified to a group of people since America had slaves. Eventually they won their freedom back however and we will too.

Anyone who is against this imo has hidden agenda and must be profitting too much off of the industry to want adoptees to have the truth infront of them. If the millions of adoptees in America were able to access their records, see the truth and unite for the unethical practises of adoption, then how would it be allowed to continue? Opening our records threatens the 4 billion $$ a year profit.

Doodlestuff

The people most against opening adoption records are adopting parents and agencies. It is not the birthparents, although it is true that some do not want to be found. As far as the rest, I can't fathom how they can have an opinion when most have never spent any time learning anything about the subject one way or the other.

Shayna W

I agree i am an adoptee an am 21 i was told once i turned 21 my records would be released to me WELL GUESS WHAT WRONG i came to find out they lied to me the whole time cause when i tried to get tehm i was told i could only have medical records an that it would cost money. Why on earth would they want me to pay for MY history ugh i think its wrong to hide the information,

concerned

Thank you, Lillie. You deserve a standing ovation for that answer.

The official reasons are all crap. We moms were never guaranteed privacy or anonymity. And most of us don't want it, either. Most of us WANT to be found. (Sorry LC, I'm too lazy to pull up the link to the stats, but the stats ARE out there... google it.)

And as for the abortion argument... the idea that if women don't have the option for confidential adoptions, that more will get abortions... this has been proved to be false in the states that are opening records. In fact abortion has DECREASED or stayed roughly static in open-records states.

So... I agree with what some previous posters have said: it all comes down to money for the agencies and the insecurity of some (not all) adoptive parents.

It's disgusting, and I am sooooo incredibly sick of people who are NOT natural moms talking all about us, our reasons for relinquishing, and our stance on open records.

Yes, there are a FEW moms out there who don't want to be found. However, I don't see why that should negate adoptee rights. There are some people I don't want to talk to, and you know what? If they contact me, I tell them "Sorry, don't want to have anything to do with you." Why can't the same happen in situations where the moms don't want a relationship? Or in situations where the moms contact the adoptees and the adoptees don't want a relationship?

This myth that we need the government to protect us from each other is so damaging and SO insulting.

Possum

Adoption records in Australia have been opened since the early 90's.
There has NOT been an increase in abortions.
There has NOT been anyone harassed or hurt - by an adoptee or a first mother.

In the US - records are closed and remain closed simply because the NCFA lobby heavily - on behalf of adoptive parents and adoption agencies - to keep them closed.

It only benefits THEM.

Torrejon

My biological parents told everyone I died at birth as a cover story for relinquishing me for adoption. Then, they spent years using that false story to get sympathy from their family and to scare others who were expecting, telling them: "Be careful. You could lose your baby just like we did." As you can imagine, they were very upset when I had my records opened and found them. They complained bitterly about being embarrassed when the truth became known throughout the family .

Therefore, in my experience:
These are the sorts of people who want records sealed for ever. And these are the reasons for wanting records to remain sealed.

momof2

to protect someone involved.
Some birth parents don't want to be found.
Some adoptive parents have chosen not to let the child know.

I think a resolution should allow for the adoption agency to send a letter to the party at question asking if they want to contact the person looking for them. then open that record once permission is gained.

I'm not real convinced that it is the right thing to do to keep records closed. A person should have a right to their familial history. Esp with genetic health related issues so prominent in our society. Doesn't seem quite right does it.

pbj

I do not think there are many places that have no way of opening adoption records. This is how some states allow open files and this to me seems to be a good compromise.
the adoptee, the adoptive parents and the biological parent all have the option of filing a form that says they grant permission for the files to be opened. As soon as these three (the only three that should be allowed to have a problem with it) have all sent in the proper permission to be contacted forms Social Services will send out the file and any updated information to all three parties. And truth be told 18 is probably a very good age limit to use because kids younger then that really do need to grow up first before they can properly handle this information. (of course some kids are ready sooner and some never are but 18 seems like a good age to argue in favor of from my stand point)

There is no reason to be against this if the adoptee is old enough and wants it, and the birth parents are not against it.

However, the birth parents have a right to remain anonymous. This may be difficult for the adoptee to understand, and it may be painful. I honestly hope that this is not a situation that I will need to deal with.

Abby_Normal

First off I would like to point out that while I don't know the exact percentage of the women wanting to know the children they surrendered involved in the Harvard study, I do know it was a study involving women only "In the decades between World War II and the Supreme Courtâ€™s Roe v. Wade decision" (a direct quote). There were a large number of women who didn't want to be involved in the study, so maybe its 100% of women who agreed to be involved. Anyway, that study has no relevance in today's society.

I feel adopted children should have full rights to their biological families medical history but giving them the rights to any other information against the wishes of the birthparents would be an infringement on their rights to privacy.
Some people don't want their pasts brought up and others, well, as cold as it may sound, just dont care to know.

For whatever reason, some birth parents don't want to be found. I think there should be a go between to see if their feelings change later. As an adoptive mother, I made it my business to get medical info from the birth parents as well as a picture. I made it clear if the child chooses later on to meet them, then I will support him.

Ryan's mom

I think if it is a closed adoption and the birth parents do not want to be found then the records should be sealed. Maybe the birth mother was raped and doesn't want to re-live the event, or some other catastrophic event. Some children are bitter towards their birth parents for giving them up for adoption, even though they could have just as easily gotten an abortion, or kept them and lived in poverty.

Lisa

Hello I am an adoptee!!!
I think the only reason is some birthmothers feel shamed. Maybe it is a lifelong secret from all. That would be hard to hold in by yourself.

The problem is many birth parents don't want to be found so if you open it up they can be found and the child can interupt their life. The same for the opposite. the child may not know they are adopted or they do and don't want to meet their birth parent then her comes this lady one day saying i am your mom.
Now i think adopted kids need to have access to medical records and medical history of their birth parents and family but with no names

I think that if both the adoptive child and birth parent make an inquire then the records could be opened if only one makes the inquiry then they should remain sealed

I know people on both ends of this and the birth parent i know even moved out of state they don't want to be found they don't want in 20 yrs for there to be a knock on there door that is why they gave the child up
Then i know birth children who are mad at their birth mom for whatever reason and would be pissed if she showed up

Truth

Because when an adoptee finds their parents there is joy, but there is also trauma on both sides. Memories come back. You never find what you are expecting. Etc. If one party is not emotionally stable it causes a lot of damage.
Also people give up babies so they can move on. If the baby surfaces after they married someone who thinks they were a virgin at marriage, well, it's just a little akward.

Wanda

Some people who place a child for adoption want to remain anonymous. If they are giving the ultimate gift of placing the baby with someone who they think can support the baby better, then why not allow them the anonymity?

The reason those outside of the adoption triad have an opinion is that you never know when you might find yourself within it. Perhaps me or my family member is raped - adoption instead of abortion is chosen - she wants to move on with her life. Then 18 years later a reminder of that tragedy knocks on her door.

When we enter into any agreement - we should be bound by it.

Nora

to protect the privacy of the birth parents.

lillilou

For some, its easier to live a peaceful life, without access to that information or desire for that information. If you know its inaccessable, you dont have to decide whether or not you should pursue it. Sometimes, we just have too many choices. Lets you focus on the present.

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