Why is it hard for some people to understand that APs don't stop being parents just because their child...?

PurpleAngel

It does not matter if your child is adopted or your biological one...you never stop being a parent.

23 year old texas female married

Yes but at 18 an adoptee is also allowed to find their first family and have their adoptive family and their first family. But I agree you are still their parents even when they turn 18!

Cambria

I don't get it at all. I am 26 and my APs are -definitely- still my parents and always will be.

MamaKate

"Why is it hard for some people to understand that APs don't stop being parents just because their child turns 18?"

There are lots of people who think parents (not just APs) "stop" being parents when the child is an adult (over 18) and no longer their parent's responsibility.

I feel that ALL good parents (biological and otherwise) ALWAYS feel like parents to their children - no matter how old they get. The "duties" change but not the feelings. (This is true for parents who have relinquished as well. Many of us NEVER stop caring for our children.)

Mei-Ling

My parents are the ones who have parented me - raised me - but so are the ones genetically bound to me forever.

Flying Monkey #073177

Why is it hard for some people to understand that NATURAL PARENTS don't stop being parents just because their child was adopted?

Goes both ways honey.

Once a parent, always a parent. In ALL cases.

Lori A

i agree with most of the answers. I have 2 kids that aren't mine that I still consider my boys. One lives with us right now and the other I just got home from a baby shower for him and his future wife. I can't turn it off. Neither of these young men had a mother who gave a rats behind, one at a very early age, and the other around 14 like someone else posted. My roll is getting easier with my own 2 because they are starting to take responsibility for them selves, but that doesn't mean I'll ever stop feeling like a mom.

The daughter I surrendered, feels the same way about her parents. She's 36, got kids of her own, is in reunion with both her first parents and still considers them mom and dad. I would be crushed if that ever changed.

Lisa A

You are thinking of foster care, not adoption. Foster children are kicked out and are on their own at 18.

Jennifer L

I've known a few biological parents that checked out of being a parent when the child was 14, or 15.

But I agree with you. Being a parent is a lifetime commitment. The relationship between parent and child changes as the child becomes an adult, but that doesn't mean you ever stop being "Mom" or "Dad".

I don't think whether the children are biological or adopted makes any difference.

sunny

I don't know what you're referring to, but nothing has to be for "life".

We can all chose with whom we wish to associate with. Your adoptive children may chose to have you in their lives or not. No one can control other people, ever.

Contrary to what some believe, adoption is not slavery or indentured servitude.

sizesmith

Our son's bio parents and we all said when he was born that when he turns big enough to do things with friends and at school functions and in public, that he'll have to hide anything from 4 parents, not just 2-LOL.

I'm not only planning on being a parent to my bio and my adopted son forever, but also to the many teens in and out of my home through the years, who in their 20's now, still stop for advice, or a meal, or just to show off their acomplishments.

Also, my brother-in-law, who was placed for adoption 48 years ago, and reunited with our family now, says he has "Mother" his bio mom, and his "Mamma" which is the one who raised him, and we're respectful of his adoptive parents and their families when we're together.

Rivkah

One of my sisters moved out of the house when she turned 17. Nobody has heard from her in 20 years. You should be aware that estrangement isn't confined to adoptive families, and many CHILDREN feel like they stop being children when they turn 18.

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