Why is it so hard to believe that there are MANY pro-adoption adoptees?

Sophie

I agree with you. There can be rants and raves from anti-adoption people ALL THE TIME in here, but when one adoptee says they are happy with their life, they are shunned by the unhappy folks in here.

And it really isn't about the happy vs. the unhappy that gets me, it's the double standard that unhappy adoptees insist that the happy ones really aren't happy.

Anha S

I'm sure there are many happy adoptees, and many people who love love love adoption. But the way you scream, and stomp your feet like a toddler having a tantrum about it makes you look anything but happy. You rant and rave against the bitter angry adoptees, and whoa, what do you end up looking like, but a bitter angry adoptee who eats your own because you can't hack people having a different experience and understanding of it than you do.

I accept that people like you exist, why can't you accept that people like me exist, and its not some kind of personal affront to you specifically Ollie, its a problem with a system that allowed for my legal kidnapping and then coersion and brow beating of my first mom. Any system that allows for that needs to be changed.

Heather B

That's great! everyone's entitled to their beliefs.

However I do wonder why you have to come and SHOUT SO BITTERLY about how HAPPY you are LOL

almost human

That's fine, and I'm sure there are.

But it doesn't negate that the system needs to be fixed.
Why is that so hard for the pro-adoption adoptees to accept?

Another reason I take exception to shouting from the mountaintops how happy you are with your adoption is because I used to be pro adoption myself, until:

I was 44 years old and I got documents when my parents died and I requested my adoption files so I could thank my foster mom for her excellent care.

Nothing added up - what I'd been told by my parents - what my parents had been told by the adoption agency - why the adoption agency were so non-forthcoming and shady when I asked questions.

It took me four decades to question anything about adoption. And once the answers to even one question turn out to be shocking, little structure is left for all the rationalizations that support adoption as it is practiced today: it's like a house of cards falling.

Brainwashed people don't ask questions, Ollie. I was brainwashed before and now I stand in the harsh light of day. If you cared about improving the lives of other children, you'd take a moment to question adoption practices and want to improve it too.

But you're too busy trying to glorify everything that justifies YOUR life. You got your pool and pony and rainbows, but what about the kids rotting in foster care while people spend $40,000 to get infants from other countries? Why don't you spend all your energy getting THEM pools and ponies and rainbows?

That's why we're here. Stop vilifying us all as haters. Start looking in a mirror my dear.

PhilM

I have no trouble believing it. However, even if there were a lot of people who were "pro-discrimination," I'd still be against it. Even if there were a lot of people who were "pro-child abuse," I'd still be against it.

As for why I don't believe YOU, it's because you don't give evidence or arguments. You simply engage in name calling. (Which sounds remarkably like a few other people I can think of...)

Gaia Raain II

I know there are adoptees who believe adoption is good. I know some personally, in real life. It just seemed like a major coincidence to me that a bunch of adoptees who write the same way you do, and say the exact same things you do, showed up right after you started freaking about needing to be really vocal that there ARE happy adoptees!!!!!!!!! A bit too much of a coincidence, in fact.

Look, if it's not true, what do you have to worry about? You sure seem to care a lot about what others think. If you're so happy and secure, why do you spend so much time and energy worrying about what others think of you?

DevonChaos

I totally get that some people are fine with adoption. I can even believe that there are adoptees who are fine with it. What I can't believe is that the ones who are can't understand that they people who are having a hard time with it have legitimate feelings.

Brainwashed follower? Well, I can tell you I thought I was alone in my feelings until coming here. Minority? Fine. Great. I hope that more people are happy than unhappy. I really hope that most adopted people feel great about it. I really hope that very few are unhappy.

Lori A

When you admit that it is possible to have had a good life through adoption with good parents, good home and still feel that adoption as a whole is something that needs reconstruction.

Why is it so hard to believe that being angry at the industry doesn't mean being angry at your parents?

I'd like proof either way as to who is in the majority.

Independ"ant"

Ollie...is being in the minority a bad thing?. The most intelligent people with common sense in this world usually are.

I see your Aps did a bang up job of raising you.
Keep posting.

I Love A Child With Autism!!!

Just because there are adoptees that are pro-adoption should not negate the fact that there are adoptees who are against it as it stands now. Why is it so difficult for you to understand that all people, including other adoptees, have the right to their own personal beliefs. Stop preaching to the choir here and realize you are not helping by these baiting questions, you just have a tendency to piss people off. If that is your goal, great you have done your job, but if you really want to have a real dialogue with other adoptees you are totally going about it the wrong way. Sounds to me you are much more of a right fighter than someone who truly seeks to understand others views!

Mei-Ling

I'm brainwashed?

Hardly. I just happen to speak my truth, which also happens to go directly against yours. Which seems to unruffle you. :

It's not hard at all to believe there are many happy adoptees. It's when you come to a place that has anti-adoption vibes and get on your soapbox, declaring that anyone who isn't happy with the system must be in denial... that's the part which staggers me.

It's like declaring you hate Lord of the Rings movies, then going to an online community which supports the most devoted fans. Pointless.

Rowan

Ollie if thats the way you feel great. But i'm wondering why you are trying so hard to convince some group of strangers on the internet.

myst1998

LOL LOL LOL

What, the pro adoption adoptees on here? You think THIS is all the world is made up of? You don't think this might not be the only place we have met people that are anti adoption and adopted? Oh and you think you have to be an angry person to be an adoptee? I have met very many happy adoptees who are very happy with their experiences, love their families but are not happy with adoption... complicated but true... oh and they are happy and oh their adoptive parents feel the same.

Poor little Ollie, so insecure about being in a minority party she needs to try and make others feel the same.

Chuckling. Not gonna work sweetie darling so maybe quit while you (think) you are ahead :)

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

Why is it so hard for you to believe that there are MANY anti-adoption adoptees?

Get over yourself ollie and go see a therapist about your buried issues

Indiana

it's human to think everyone thinks the same thing sometimes.
but i agree with you

LaraSue

I think it is too much kool-aid drinking.

AdoreHim

I think the reason we see more con about adoption here, is that a lot of people who are pro-adoption may not think about coming to a site like this. A lot of people think that this is for "help". I am one of those adoptees that are very thankful for being adopted. It saddens me to see those that are not happy with adoption. Something that has tried to pull me away from this site more than once, is the emails that I have received from people who don't like it that I had a good adoption experience. I had such a good adoption experience, I chose to adopt 2 children myself.

Leilani

i did not understood a word you said..sorry i guess im dumb..

magga

honestly, i couldn't follow this at all.
hah. :)

ballsonmyface

I don't know abortion seems like the way to go. I guess my only issue with it is that I don't like giving women the choice but killing babies is pretty sweet so I can live with it.

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