Why is pro-adoption the default position?

Mei-Ling

Because of society's mindset that promotes only the good side.

Adoption - means you want a child to have a family.

Anti-adoption - apparently means you want children to languish in orphanages instead of looking into WHY those children up in orphanages and then HOW we can START thinking/doing (of) ways to prevent it, a little bit at a time.

Laurel J

Adoption is trumpeted loudly as positive because we know damned well negative things lurk behind it, and we don't want to think about these things.

It's not nice when children are born out of wedlock (although this is changing, the stigma is not gone yet). It's not nice when someone who wants kids can't have them; that isn't "normal." And it's not at all nice when a child is unwanted or removed from a family where it is wanted and plopped down in another family and asked--legally, if my birth certificate is anything to go by--to pretend nothing happened. We have this idea that bad things don't happen to good people, so we twist things around so we can believe there are good reasons for this or that someone deserved it. But we also believe children are innocent.

It's kind of messy, and it makes people wonder, "What if it happened to me? Am I really so interchangeable? What is a family, a parent?"

So we slap a coat of rainbow paint on it and holler about how wonderful it is. If it were prima facie wonderful, nobody would shout so loudly.

Sofiakat

i think it is because mothers are vilified. They are either too poor, to young, too old, to irresponsible, etc etc... So when you believe that you are "saving" a child, no explanation is needed. What a crock.
I think for most it is just plain arrogant ignorance.

opedial

It is when people make oversimplified statements about anything that this will occur.

The "pro-life" movement states that they are for life. So I guess that makes those who disagree with their movement pro-death. I personally use pro-choice and anti-choice, my own terms of propaganda.

So yes, some say your are either pro-adoption or anti-adoption. Well I can't be anti-adoption because I am an adoptive mother. But I am not Pro-adoption because I don't think all adoptions are necessary and see many negative aspects of adoption industry.

So there is that middle gray area in any subject that people don't get. It is double speak propaganda that actually fuels the question answer areas though. Without the double speakers, well then we are all just intelligent adults having a conversation about how change should occur, and we can't have that!!!

So, I only have one (propaganda filled) thing left to say: You are either with me, or against me!!

Kazi

I think it's a matter of intent, and in most cases the intent behind adoption is meant to be a good thing. Parents adopt because they wish to be parents. This is a good thing. Children will have families. This is a good thing. This is also the bulk of what the general public knows about adoption. The intricate layers of grief and loss and lack of equality are not as known and therefore people without a relationship to adoption would be unaware that they exist with the obvious outcome be a request for an explanation. I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. If they are asking, it means the wish to know and they are listening. Ultimately they may not agree, but at least they'd know these issues exist.

SJM

Because special interest groups have twisted the meaning of words so thoroughly that those of us who believe in the permanence of family bonds have been forced to the fringe and labeled "anti-adoption". In fact, we can't even call it a family bond because the family has been erased and replaced. We are forced to invent new language to communicate the meaning of something as basic as the family in order to distinguish it from the social unit that results from adoption. It's a fiendishly good trick that's very difficult to expose.

MamaKate

Dear Phil,

I'm not sure "pro-adoption" IS the default. I have yet to see anyone running about professing that ALL children should be adopted. Just as there is no one here saying that there is NEVER a case where adoption IS in the best interest of children in certain situations.

It is obviously an extreme view, as is "anti-adoption", and I think almost everyone falls somewhere in the middle.

I think many people jump to say they support adoption and are "pro-adoption" because it sounds like you should. I also think that most of these people are ignorant about adoption and if posed with questions such as, "Do you think that adoptees should have the right to know who their first parents are?" and "Should a fit parent place a child for adoption because they are having financial issues?", most intelligent people with any hint of compassion would lean more towards the "adoption reform" crowd.

Adoption is not black and white - it is many shades of gray...

Lucy da cat

cause denial is a powerful thing....

Mystical

because we are use to hearing all the good things. I am 38 years old and never knew they're was any such thing as an anti-adoption movement. I still don't agree that all adoption is bad nor that it is all good. I do, however, feel that it is a better choice than other options like foster care, orphanages, abortion, etc.
The fact is that when your view is not mainstream you have to either be silent or defend it. It's like that in everything.

Indian-vision(un-blocked)

I agree with Kazi. Its the "intent" behind adoption. Due to which its always considered a good thing in most situations and countries.

Sure you can celebrate the fact in India people do not like adoptions and think its a bad thing. And those millions in the orphanage,who cares about them !!

Feather in the cap for the anti- adoption activists.

gibberish

The pro adoption position is the majority position. That is a fact and has been for hundreds and hundreds of years. Do you know that MOST individuals believe in supporting mothers who make the most difficult decision in their lives to give up their child for the good of the child! Yes, MOST. Thus, the burden rests on the minority of anti adoption believers to justify your position.

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