Why would it be in the child's best interests to remain in foster care?

Gaia Raain

If the foster parents are loving and kind, aren't going anywhere, and the child is doing just fine where she is, why subject her to a huge transition at this point in her life?

We recently went to committee for a young girl who I wish could have stayed in foster care a bit longer. Her mother had given birth to five babies, and the older four had already gone to permanent placements. Two of the older siblings were in an adoptive home. The adoptive parents wanted this little girl, but were having some medical issues associated with a complicated pregnancy and weren't able to be a resource for this little girl. I don't understand why they couldn't just wait for the family's medical needs to get ironed out. The foster mother was loving and kind, and the little girl was just fine where she was. I believe she would have been better off with her siblings' adoptive parents. But then, I'm not the caseworker, and I don't know all the details.

There are many reasons why some kids might be better off in foster care than in adoptive placements. #1, for me, is if the foster parents are unconditionally loving, treat the child as their own, and have no plans to go anywhere, and if the child does well in that family. Why move them? Why not grant the foster parents guardianship and let them raise the child? But that's not the way the system works. Foster care is too expensive for the state to pay for, so they'll take kids out of happy homes and gamble on an adoptive family to save money. *sigh*

princesshavaii88

Adoption isn't that easy. I was put in a foster home when i was 3 weeks old, my biological family couldn't take care of me. I have been with the same family since then, i am now 20. When I was 4 years old, my biological father who was in prison, signed papers that would let me stay with my foster family and move to another state with them, they were my adoption papers. He signed papers that let me be put up for a adoption. I then had to go through several case workers, and had to go back to my birth state every year. I have always considered myself part of the family I am now, never a part of my biological family. In many cases the foster kids go back to their birth parents, not up for adoption. I luckily after several years of paperwork was adopted when i was 13 years old. It took them 9 years since my father let me go up for adoption. My biological sister who was also taken away by the state, wasn't so fortunate. When I was in the second grade and she was in the third, she was taken away, back to our birth state. The reason as you said did have to do with behavior, she was very violent. She on a few occasions, did try to severely injure me. She was tossed like a rag doll from one foster home to another, she finally found one that she stayed in for many years, and she was never adopted, but she was part of their family. When she turned 18, the age you get kicked out of the system, that family kept her. The only reason i can figure why they denied the adoptive parents was because they were not qualified. Many families are rejected for several reasons.

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

I am sorry Kazi, but I cant think of anything

Corn is not dog food! No wheat!

Sometimes kids and situations just "click".
Meaning, the kid could be doing really well in the situation she's in, and while it's not the best, it's working. She could be in a place that's convienient to her care. Doctors, tutors, family, etc.

It could be that she just got settled somewhere and WANTS to stay put for a while. At 8 she'd have some say. Maybe she likes her school, or something.

It could be a nice way of "letting down" the adoptive parents. As case workers who work with children, they get a feel for who will get along and who won't. Maybe the case worker feels she won't do as well in that home as opposed to another, or where she is now.

Maybe the case worker sees another child that will fit the adoptive family better.

toyzealot

It could be dependent upon the background information of the potential adopters and whether a CASA may have been involved? Hard to say based on what you've written. The child may have had some reservations about leaving the foster care program. CPS and CWS do try to take in to consideration what the child has to say particularly if they are able to articulate how they feel.

monkeykitty83

If the child wasn't sure she wanted to be adopted or seemed to be expressing mixed feelings-- even if she was doing so only in private settings or in therapy-- her social worker may have felt it was better for her to remain in foster care rather than making an adoption decision for her. Adoption is permanent, and an eight year old is capable of expressing preferences about where she wants to live. I didn't see the show so I can't say for sure, but that would be my immediate thought: perhaps the child was expressing negative or uncertain feelings about the adoption when the cameras weren't on her.

* from the Great White North*

I am a foster mom with 2 adopted daughters. Sadly it is not always that easy. In order to adopt my 12 year old we had to jump threw many many hops. This poor little girl came with a ton of problems and they had to make sure we could handle it. Even tho her sister was already here with us.
They probably wanted this child to stay in foster care so they could keep an eye on her for a while longer.It could be that the prospective parents were not suited for her.

littleJaina

The only thing I can think of for an 8 year old was that there was a problem with this particular family, not with adoption for her in general...

Even if a child has severe medical problems, they can still adopt them out and just let them keep the states medical insurance, so I can't see that being a reason.

I could imagine many reasons for a 17-year-old not to be adopted. For instance, if they are in a foster family that already considers them to be "as good as" adopted, then by formally adopting them, they could be shooting themselves in the foot. Even though help for transitioning foster children is below abysmal, they do get a few things. For instance, in many cases college is next to free for them through federal grants if they fill out a FAFSA. Of course, this doesn't help many foster kids because they have to figure out how to survive for three months between high school graduation and going to college - as well as how to cover general living expenses like medical insurance, clothes, transportation, etc while in school. However, if you have a 17-year-old foster child that you intend to keep as part of your family, I can see why some people may choose not to formalize the adoption arrangement.

With an 8-year-old though, I just can't imagine. That's 10 more years of leaving this kid at the mercy of the system! I have to really hope that the adoption was only denied because there was something seriously wrong with the adopting couple.... otherwise, shame on that caseworker!

jfcruzr

Either they thought the child was not "adoptable" or they thought the parents weren't

Tsunami

she could be happy where she is and doing well. its alot of things that can come up maybe her real parents are working to get her back and then if she were adopted out it would be gone forever. there are times when the kids can go back if all is ok and doneright.

Whoa Buddie?!

in my opinion, the caseworkers were probably being bxtches. all in all, it wouldn't. trust me, i've known people who come and/or went into foster care. my mother had worked in a place lik that once. its really hell.

Nurse JC

The process of adoption is crazy - one of my friends went through the process and it took about a year and a half. Every little tiny thing had to be right.

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