Will I be able to Adopt?

My husband and I are wanting to adopt my friends baby, but I think there might be a problem when we go through the home study about my other kids. I don't have them living with me they live with they fathers. My daughters father had papers drawn up and they went through the courts and are filed, but we really don't follow those papers that were filed, my daughter is 16 almost 17 and I pay support. My sons father and I came to an agreement about my son staying with him and I can see my son and do anything with my son when ever I want. I also can do the same with my daughter. I also pay support for my son. I'm not behind on my support with either child. my son is 15. My husband and I have talked to my kids about adopting the child, and they are for it. My husbands mother thinks that since my kids don't live with me that they will not pass us on our homestudy that you have before you adopt. Has anyone been through this or have thoughts on this subject

sunny

So your own children don't want to live with you, but you feel qualified to raise another woman's child?

I don't know if you'd be allowed to adopt, but I sure hope not. It's not fair to gamble a kid's life (who already lost his/her own family) on a woman trying to make it right this time around.

Get a puppy.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

good grief. i hope not.

BLW_KAM

The reason(s) why your children are living with their fathers could make all the difference in the world.

If there is something in your past to indicate you weren't taking care of your children or were a bad influence on them, you probably won't pass the home study.

If, on the other hand, you made mistakes common to young, inexperienced mothers and you've proven yourself to be a mature adult now, you probably will pass the home study.

My question would be: What do you think? If you were a social worker, would you approve yourself?

Gina M

Actually it is up to the judge to decide on the adoption. Honestly if you don't bring your children into the adoption (because they do not live with you) then they will not be a part of the home study or any consideration towards or against your adoption. My fiance and I just adopted his paternal grandson. The child was no relation to me yet because we could offer a better life together for the child then what he had we were granted the adoption. The home study is for the people who live in the house all the time. Not for people who are rarely there at all. Just rest easy and don't make this too hard on yourself.

reneaumommy

the status of your children will not affect your homestudy. If the children were in an inappropriate placement it would (with their father is appropriate). Also if you were behind on support payments it would be viewed negatively.

Randy B

Everyones personal situation is different and I think if you can articulate why things are they way they are then there shouldn't be a problem. Marriages break down all the time, unfortunately, and peoples lives go on.

The simple fact of the matter is that you are "doing right" by them (I assume) and in the end, they have to live with one or the other of you.

If there are no criminal matters or child protection issues involved then I think they would look more at the length of your current relationship and the stability of that one then of the past. You have to remember, everyone has blemishes in their past and nobodies home study is perfect. If it was perfect I think that would send up red flags more then anything.

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