Would You Consider Adopting?

Linny G

I would not, BECAUSE Im adopted. Never.
If you, as you say, "wouldn't like is for them to just walk out on me when they're 18 and look for their real parents (if they wanted to search for them)." Well, they will. They wont "walk out on you", but they will more than likely search. We want to know our family.

There are children who need Foster Parents. Or better yet, join the Big Brother/Big Sister organization. My daughter is a big sis, and loves it.

Get married and make your own baby someday. You've got time.

Heather Leigh

You have alot of time to research adoption and the issues some adoptees feel. This would be your first start. There are millions of children in foster care that need a safe and loving home.

While I don't think it was intentional, something you wrote was offensive. You said you want a child to be grateful to you for giving them a chance. No child should have to be grateful for something that most children take for granted. I am a adoptive mom to a 14 year old. He was adopted from foster care when he was 8. He regularly has people tell him that he should be grateful (thankful, lucky, etc). And it is hurtful to him that people think he should be grateful when if he were truly lucky his other parents would not have been abusive or neglectful.

Also, I don't see why you would be limited to only adopting boys as a single male. If they were afraid you would molest a daughter, they would not allow you to adopt ANY child.

ETA: Sorry, I didn't actually answer your question... No, I would not consider adopting again. My children are getting to the age that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (so to speak). They are 19 , 17 & 14. I am also caring for my neices and they are 5 & 3. I am planning on being a foster parent on a regular bases though but not until the girls ae reunited with their Mom.

Mei-Ling

"I'd like the opportunity for someone to look up to you as their dad and feeling grateful for giving them that chance."

As for the topic of being grateful...

"So far as being grateful, it is the adoptive parents who should be grateful. They are the ones pursuing the adoption. They are the ones who got what they wanted. No child would choose to be separated from his biological mother. That he may have to be separated from her is a different thing altogether. That is an intellectual, adult decision, not an emotional/sensual baby experience. Although grateful for many things his parents may have done for him, no child should be obligated to feel grateful for having a loving set of parents. That should be his right."

http://about-orphans.blogspot.com/

If you want a child to feel grateful (for example, if you work 9+ hours a day to provide food, drink, and shelter) for the basic necessities of life that ANY child would be grateful for, then absolutely.

But if it's just for the notion that you want a pat on the back for "saving" a child? Nuh uh.

[The only thing that I wouldn't like is for them to just walk out on me when they're 18 and look for their real parents (if they wanted to search for them).]

Shouldn't you be putting your would-be adopted child's needs above your own?

Not saying they will or will not search for their OTHER parents, but that they might.

Shouldn't you be thinking about supporting that decision and encouarging an adopted individual to find out their other heritage as well? It's not like they will love you any less.

DevonChaos

I myself am adopted. I wouldn't ever adopt. The first time I saw a blood relative of mine was when I gave birth to her myself. The first time I held her I knew that I was only going to have my own birth children. After years of not having anyone around me who was actually related, I found out what a real, honest to god family was. If I weren't able to have my own, I might have tried to foster, but never would I adopt a newborn.

AND as for you thinking that they would walk out on you at age 18 to find their own parents... How SELFISH! I know you aren't very old, but everyone who is born has the right to know who their real parents are. You may have raised the person, but they have a whole history that existed long before you knew of them. Chances are, they would still have a relationship with you, and hope to have one with their first parents also.

AND as far as you wanting a girl... if you want children for a non-selfish reason, it wouldn't matter the gender. I have 2 boys and 3 girls, and really, they are just kids at the end of the day. Humans. Just like we are. It shouldn't matter the age, color, creed, or gender. Love sees none of that.

magic pointe shoes

Once upon a time when I believed in the fairy tales of adoption being a win win scenario, yes I considered adoption in a ridiculous "someday I will do this" way that isn't taking any depth to thoughts or investigation.

But now that I've had personal experience with the ugly side of adoption that exists in practically every adoption there is. I now understand how completely not win win adoption is, but based on an incredible amount of loss that is easily dismissed by society.

So no, I would not consider adoption anymore. Instead I will put that time, effort and money towards resolving why relinquishment and abandonment is necessary instead of just plucking children away and leaving the rest to suffer.

BOTZ

No. Never.

I wonder how many times this question will be asked.

I'm curious...why do you want to know what other people would (or wouldn't) do?

And, why a daughter? If you don't even have a girlfriend, how are you going to relate?

Get a job. Get a girlfriend. Make her your wife. Make a baby.

Trust me -- it's better. For the kid and for you.

I promise.

Torrejon

I am able and I would be willing to care for a child who needed a stable, secure family. But, I would never, ever adopt...attempt to claim to be the mother of the child!

Jill_01

Absolutely!!
And we're looking into the foster to adopt program now. :)
There are so many children who need homes.
And we have an open heart to accept them into ours.

Cool Hal

I would rather remove various internal body parts with a butter knife than remove a child permanently from there parents.

The two main problems with adoption is 1) it is final and 2) it is about the needs of the parent(s)

In your example you obviously cant have children (being a man) so how do you get one - you adopt.

You say you wouldn't want them to walk out on you to look for there 'real parents' right let me educate you. I am adopted my I dont have real parents - I have the ones that adopted me, whom I love dearly and I have my biological one (whom I have not yet met). But that it my right if and when I decide to meet them - not my adoptive parents - there are answers that they cant give me about my medical history genealogy etc....

I know you are young but you probably need to think about how your questions affect people who are adopted

Lyndsey b2b 150510

I dont get why people are saying this is a horrible thing. what about kids who dont have anyone. its not always about plucking them away from the family they are in. its about giving a child with no family a new start. I myself cannot have children, and would love nothing more than to be a mother, and i feel that by adopting a child who has no one i am giving them and myself something, a family.

i think its a lovely idea that you have and i hope that one day you are satisfied with the choices you have made and life you have had whether you have biological children or you adopt.

and to everyone out there that has said this is horrible, shame on you. this guy has a heart and wants to help needy children. and if a child is plucked away from a family it is with good reason. do you think they should stay in a family that is harmful to them??? or should they have a chance to have a happy life!!!!!!!

scarletgreen22

I definitely plan to adopt, im only 22 and definitely don't want children now or any time soon but when I do decide to have a family I am going to adopt.
Personally I don't want to have children, as in become pregnant, its just not something I want. But i do want children and as you said you are giving a child a better life,a family and a chance to be the best they can.

Moonkeybiskits

Definitely! I never particularly wanted kids but I always said if I did have them I'd be perfectly happy to adopt.
It has always caused me a lot of concern to think of all the poor wee souls out there whose parents are total ba$tards and who have no chance unless they get put in a loving family.
I think you are very mature and caring and if you can't adopt a daughter then it would be a sad verdict of the way some people's minds work...if a couple split up and the dad takes the daughter no-one will accuse him of being a paed without good reason so I hope they would give someone like you the same opportunity to be a good dad to a kid in need....good luck!

MissK

I would like to have two and adopt two, just because I want several kids but I don't want to be pregnant several times. Maybe that makes me selfish... but I would also prefer older kids who have less chance of being adopted, and sibling groups, so maybe it balances.

Mummy of 3 sick kids ;(

no i wouldnt
i dont mean to sound stuck up and stupid
but i have a 9year old who is quite a handful and i have just had twins who are 3months old they are obviously diffiult
we plan to have one more in 2/3 years time and therefore we wouldnt adopt as 5 children would be hard and it wouldnt be fair for the adopted child as my 4 kids might have a clloser bond ithink it would also just stir things up and we dont have that much money and we might not be able to afford our 4th child . i know that sounds bad but you know what i mean :(

if things were different ie if i couldnt have hildren then i would defiantly thing about adopting

x

allchildrenareangels

yes

bluefrenchie

Of course it would be legal for you as long as you have a good situation in life (you know money and space in your home) and past a test. When I'm alot older I would probably adopt if I weren't married or something because one: I'm terrified of giving birth and I think it would be nice to give a child/children a home.

Zeena

I only plan on having three children at the moment (bio) but, when they are older I might consider adopting a foster child.

And people, he said ADOPT.He didn't say what kind of a child (baby or foster care) so what the hell is up with all of the thumbs down for people saying they would? get over yourselves and your self pity.

Lee Lee

Yes i would consider it. I think though that doing it because you want them to think you've done them a big favour isn't right. Perhaps you didn't mean it to come across like that, i don't know so sorry if i've offended you.

I think more and more about these awful stories in the paper about Baby P and all the other little abused children and i just think about how i couldve loved them so much and given them a chance in life. I see my own 18 month old running around and it really gets to me when i see these cases in the paper. Children put their trust in adults and i would love the chance to try and give a child a better life.

You sound like a nice guy!!

Dave B

You may well change your mind as you get older? Don't know if children that are adopted will look up to you, if they remember their previous experiences they could well have a lot of problems that come with them. If you look into fostering you will find support and training to help. There are lots of rules and checks that have to be made, you don't want a child that has been through a lot and may have had to move from their family having more problems because of a mismatch in a placement. When you see current UK news you can see one extreme of when things go wrong, the authorities have to be so careful. There are lots of other options to help children other than adoption, would you make a good social worker? that would be a challenge. Less time would be a bubby for a child and take them out maybe once a fortnight for two years and many other possible opportunities. All need training, commitment and dedication.

Ashaley M

well i will if i cant get pregnant or if i had taken along time for me to get pregnant then yes i will

i wouldn't because you can be on the waiting list up yo 6 years but i already got 1 kid now and pregnant so i don't have to do adopting!

'Insert name here'

I don't think a single dad can adopt a daughter. But there are still plenty (if not more) boys. I have also thought about this and would like very much to as well. Good luck!
PS i really want to adopt from abroad.

Mommy of Kaylee and Anthony

That would be nice, but I have heard lots of people who get turned down for multiple reasons, like being single. A certain life how you are to live.

I would actually adopt as many kids as possible, and give birth to as many kids myself as I could...if money and room weren't an issue for me. I love kids and feel that if you have the better in interest for them, you can really raise a genious.

You'll meet someone eventually!

ashleighhhhhh [:

yes i would:]] even though im practically 16:]
i think you have to pass a test in order to adopt.. but i can still see why they would be suspicious if a single guy adopted a child:]

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