Would an egg donor have rights to a child she didn't carry?

cmc

You should have a lawyer draft an egg donor agreement that your cousin would sign. That would specify that she gives up all rights etc. There are other things it should cover such as what happens to embryos that are not used (frozen, destroyed, donated to someone else or research). Also if you use an anonymous donor you usually buy special insurance to cover any medical complications. This is probably a good ides too. Maybe your fertility clinic (you'll need one for the egg donor/IVF) can refer you to a lawyer. Our clinic also required that both the recipient of the egg and the donor have a psychological screening to recommend if they were suited for this.

Lori A

I do believe so. There will be papers to sign of some sort. Where is the male part of this group project coming from?

This has despiration all over it. You really need to step back and take a look at what you are proposing for the childs sake.

monkeykitty83

You're concerned your cousin will "pull something"? You think she'll donate her genetic material for the money? Your only qualification is that she look like you, even though you think she's potentially mentally unfit to donate an egg, and you're worried about custody battles over a child who hasn't been conceived yet?

You see NO reason why entering into this situation might be a bad idea?

There are enough ethical issues surrounding donation and surrogacy without bringing tangled family custody into it. Do yourself a favour, and stay out of this messy situation.

Felicita1

The egg donor does not have rights. However, that child will belong to your mother and is your sister until she signs away her rights.

If you don't know if you have eggs, get tested. Just because your cousin "looks a lot like you" doesn't mean the baby will look or act anything like you. If it is important to you to have a child who is related to you (and for most people, they'd rather have one of their own than some stranger's), then check out your own fertility resources. Even if you do not have a uterus (don't know if you do or not), you may still have viable eggs that can be extracted.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

"I thought I was going to have to traditionally adopt"

you don't HAVE to do anything. again- this kid will be your second choice.

be careful not to remind them of that fact TOO often.

Erin L

OMG - There are so many issues I want to address with you in this question I don't know even where to begin . . . your obvious looking down on adoption as second rate and something to be hiddden - ie. "thought I was going to have to", wanting a donar who looks like you, etc. . . . Not caring about anyone elee's rights or feelings - your cousin's ("I think we can get her to " but "she wouldn't be able to claim rights, would she?" you don't know if she'd "pull something".) I know you want a child and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's ALL ONLY about that for you and you can't even SEE how anyone else might be affected and want to become a parent in a way that doesn't step on anyone's rights. Do you know what a woman goes through to donate eggs? -their body, hormones, injections, emotions, if it came to pass, having a biological child in the world. Doesn't that come with rights? How about the child? You need to be able to put another human being's wants and needs above your own to be able to parent - I don't see evidence of that.

I think you DO need to think about if it's a good idea. As far as the legalities, I honestly don't know. It's new ethical territory that law hasn't really caught up with. But, while the legal issues may be fuzzy, the ethical issues jump out loud and clear.

Moris

Oh god, that's some Jerry Springer sh*t.

But to answer your question, the donor has the rights up until she signs the papers off to release the child from her custody.

Heather B

No, I don't think she could.

Way to go with messing with a child's head though.

single_lesbo

Yeah, I think if you pay your cousin a bunch of money, she will help you have a perfect baby. Congrats on really figuring this whole thing out!

Grow up first, then have children.

saphire_gem94@rocketmail.com

I dont think so. She's donating it so its like saying you donate something and you take it back wich is wrong. But, she is your cousin and no matter what that child will be around you somehow.

Working Mum

i would say the egg donor would have rights and you would have to adopt off her not your mother

Serenity71

Think carefully about this. There are people who do donate eggs -a lady my DH works with has three children from doing this she doesn't have legal rights since she signed papers at the time of donation. But she has pictures of all three kids. (She doesn't refer to them as her's, she looks upon as them as friends. And she just loves the fact that these kids are alive and well. ) Even through donors they can match you.

The point is this needs a third party involved to make sure no one gets hurt. It can be a very fragile situation even if the relationships are close.

Talk to a fertility gynecologist first and see if you can physically carry a baby to full term, (Even though you don't have egg's, that doesn't mean everything else might not be working.) If you can carry the baby why not do it!

Lori;s right in asking what about the male donor? Is that your partner?

Good Luck!

Bee ~Brit Mum~

In the UK at least (I presume it'd be the same everywhere though) the donor has no rights (I know as I've been looking into egg donation myself recently). They in fact counsel the donor on issues such as the realisation that they are in no way the mother of the child, legally or emotionally. However (again, in the UK at least) recent law changes state the child can legally acquire details of the egg donor once s/he turns 18, if s/he wishes. So if the donors identity is something you were planning on keeping secret from the child for whatever reason, be aware that if your laws are the same this may not be possible once the child reaches adulthood.

I know you don't want advice on the situation but I can't answer this without saying my thoughts on this. I look nothing like my parents, my son looks nothing like me, it's completely irrelevant how your child looks. I'm sure the fact that the egg would be from someone within your own family means something to you - but this is family that you clearly don't trust, so does that really mean that much? The egg is just one cell, your mum would be carrying and delivering this child and that is what means the most. If you have no other female relatives that you trust enough, then would using a donor through an agency be such a bad thing? You will never meet or have any contact with this woman and it will be so much less messy. You'll keep it between yourself and your mother and won't have any of this worry. Just because your cousin couldn't legally do anything, doesn't mean she couldn't make your lives difficult if she was this way inclined - if she is as untrustworthy as you make out then what is to stop her from telling your child she is his/her 'real mother' when s/he's old enough to understand - or what about when your child is a teenager and you start having your standard puberty fights, and this cousin of yours is suddenly their with an open door and lax discipline and all of a sudden becomes the favourite when you become unpopular as all parents do at one point or another during the teen years. How would you handle this? Just because she can't do anything legally doesn't mean that she can't make things hard. You'd have none of this with a stranger donor. And, having just done my research as I said, they do a LOT of background health checks and thoroughly check the family health history of the donor also, so you would not be in danger of receiving a 'defective' egg from someone you don't know. Please just bear all this in mind. It's of course your decision to make but personally I would stay away from this cousin of yours with a bargepole if you trust her so little. Egg donation is also a big thing for a donor, and if you think she would find it difficult to accept not being the parent in this situation then you do also need to bear her feelings in mind, would you want to leave a family member feeling bitter all her life for you having something she doesn't? Just think it all through very carefully. If you are completely opposed to the idea of a stranger donor, perhaps your partner has someone in his family trustworthy that would donate an egg with no complications?

Edit: Just looked at your profile and I see you're in school. Perhaps you should consider finishing your education before you even think about stuff like this, for the baby's sake not yours. I fell pregnant at 19 and am studying alongside raising him and it breaks my heart that I couldn't give him as good a start in life as I might have been if I had of been in a good job already. Stop thinking about yourself. You sounded young by the way you spoke about your cousin and you seemed to have a very immature understanding of what is involved in this kind of thing, 'I think we can get her to donate...', etc. but I assumed you must be a fully grown adult just by what you were asking, but I see my first assumption was in fact right. In the UK, you are not allowed by law to adopt before the age of 21 and most agencies in fact say 25 for the reason that maturity and life experience is required.

You should contact an attorney. You may need one anyway.

Annabelle

the last I heard about this (which was an article I read a few years back so take it with a grain of salt) is that the laws have not caught up with technology so that the "mother" is considered the person who gives birth in the eyes of the law (ie your mom) but not your cousin. I think most people sign legal documents ahead of time to avoid these kind of issues.

ETA before I get 500 thumbs down I am not suggesting that this is a good plan

jewels

It depends on the state you live in and basically comes down to what the law says. In Texas, only people that can donate their own egg can even consider surrogacy. In some states the egg donor is the legal mother. In some states the person carrying the child is the legal mother. Rarely ever is the actual potential adoptive mother ever considered the legal mother initially when the baby is born. I mean think about it. You didn't donate any DNA to this baby, you didn't carry the baby. What legal right at all would you have to the baby after it is born? It would end up being just like a "traditional" adoption. Your mother or your cousin would have to terminate their rights AFTER the baby is born and then you would have to go through the normal adoption process. Why on earth would you be considered the legal mother if you took no part in conceiving this baby? It's so ironic that this will turn out to be just like a "traditional" adoption!

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