Would like varying opinions on adoption?

After peeking in on YA for a little while, I've noticed the varying opinions and experiences with adoption. My experience both as an adoptee and adoptive parent has been nothing but positive. I would like to gain a better understanding of all angles of adoption, as I realize that my experience is only one out of the many.

1. For those that were adopted, do you feel a void or sense of abandonment? (I'm asking, as I have never felt that void and I would like to understand where that stems from)

2. How do you feel that being adopted changed the person that you have become?
Additional Details
Thank you all for the replies. I am not in a reunion, although I have met my b-family, which was a good experience. I just want to have all the knowledge possible on the different emotional aspects of how others have felt. I figure the more well rounded knowledge I have (not just from my own experience) can only benefit my own family, as I intend to adopt more children.

almost human

1. For those that were adopted, do you feel a void or sense of abandonment?

I didn't grow up feeling a void or a sense of abandonment either. but I grew up painfully aware of how different I was and how different our family was.

I thought this difference was superficial, until I got to know my friends' families well - and THEN I felt a void, seeing what other families shared on so many levels. Then, when I had my own children, I knew there was a major part of my life that was - erased - but very real, and very very important.

I never knew abandonment had anything to do with my psyche or personality until others close to me pointed it out. And then they left. Which nearly killed me.

2. How do you feel that being adopted changed the person that you have become?

I used to let people run over me because history has proven that my will meant little. My power came from endurance and the conviction I was good and good prevails. This is due to the abuse that I suffered, an abuse I am sure my first parents would not have inflicted upon me.

But now I know I am human and I know I was once a vulnerable child who was disrupted at one off the most critical formative moments of her life. It affected me deeply in ways I have yet to understand. It is immeasurable and hard to isolate, but I know that the disquiet within me has nothing to do with the essential me, but everything to do with what I had to overcome and deal with.

Adoption made the essential me stronger and more thoughtful at a disturbingly young age, but it is a bitter sweet strength. No child should ever have to go through that. There are better ways to save children. Better ways to make them grow stronger and more thoughtful.

Today I have become a reluctant educator and critic of adoption. Adoption didn't change me.
But it changed my life.
Radically.

rachael

1. i have never felt abandoned. but i have always felt the 'void'
my bparents had very legitmate reasons for giving me up. i dont know if all the talks bmom had with me while pregnant stuck with me, but i knew it was for the best. when i found them i got confirmation of that.
but i always felt like a huge piece of me was missing. i longed to have them back in my life.

2. adoption changed me mostly by my interests. my afamily was not into sports, music or art. these things held my interest. but it was not promoted in my life. so i feel i missed out on alot of my potentials.

overall-my personal adoption story is positive. i harbor no hard feelings and i have reunited with both bparents. i have ALL my family and i could not be happier. but it doesnt change the loss i felt, the confusion on who i actually was or should be or my lack of a sense of 'home'

AdoreHim

I also am an adoptee and an adoptive parent. I am so glad to meet someone else who has lived an experience like me, and had a positive experience.
1- I am adopted and never felt a void or sense of abandonment. Some people here, have told me I am in denial. But I am not, I had a happy adoption experience, if I hadn't , I would not have made the decision to adopt twice.

2- I think I am the same person that I would have been if I had not been adopted, but I know that God used my adoption to draw me into a relationship with Him, and for that I am thankful

Carnie C

* 1. For those that were adopted, do you feel a void or sense of abandonment? (I'm asking, as I have never felt that void and I would like to understand where that stems from) *

Nope, never felt it. Always been pretty secure with who I am.

*2. How do you feel that being adopted changed the person that you have become?*

Absolutely! Our lives are defined by both -- nature and nurture. I am who I am because of the values and experiences I had growing up -- which would've been different had i not been adopted. However, I am thankful I was adopted.

Are you in reunion?

Wish I could be something

It hurts me. I am happy i had a great adoptive mother but i their is this bond you share with your bio family. I dont know what that feels like. I always felt alone...

If i wasnt adopted i would be in trailer park on drugs with 5 kids....
It was the best thing that ever happen to me

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