Would this be selfish? Why do people adopt from abroad?

'Insert name here'

I think one of the main reasons could be that, but me personally, i hate domestic adoption which is just like a 'baby market'

Laurel J

That IS the reason some people adopt from overseas. I know this because many such people are not shy about saying so, often using delightful terms like "birth mama drama."

I find that sickening.

Kazi

We adopted our daughter from China and our son from foster care and I do not believe that adopting overseas was anymore selfish than adopting from foster care. We adopted because we wanted to be parents. Selfish? Sure. Just as selfish as any biological parents deciding to get pregnant. They want to be parents too. We did not adopt from China to keep her all to ourselves. We wanted to adopt children who did not have parents. And as far as I am concerned, as long as there are children languishing in deplorable 2nd and 3rd world orphanages with no one in their native country who are willing or able to adopt them, then IA needs to exist. There isn't too much in the way of culture and tradition being passed around in orphanages, they are in the business of survival.

Penny P

Those could be the reasons behind some people wanting to adopt from overseas. Other reasons could be to give a family to a child who has none. To provide parents and a home to a child who has none. To provide a good future and way of life for a child who lives in poverty. To provide medical care for a child who wouldn't otherwise have it.
Not everyone adopt only babies from other countries. Not everyone adopts only perfectly healthy children either. People who think adopting internationally is easier than domestic are very misinformed. To provide a loving home and family to a child who has none, no matter where they are from, is a good thing. Adopting from a third world country is giving a child a chance for a good life!

cantstopLinnyG

I think it's selfish AND morally wrong to adopt a child from a foreign country. It robs the child of everything- their language, their country, their family, their everything. International is full of corruption, even more so than domestic.

Foreign governments KNOW what kind of money barren American women will pay for child. Because of this, women are raped, then the child is sold to "adoption brokers". Babies are also kidnapped and sold into adoption. Dont kid yourself. It happens. Every day. The "baby was found in a basket on the agency doorstep" is a very common story these twits make up, and rarely is it true.

And, BTW, ap's may think they can "secure the child as their own forever", but they are kidding themselves. The child also has ANOTHER set of parents who are theirs forever.

If someone truly wants to be a parent, they will adopt through foster care from their own country. If they don't have foster care in their country, move or become a mentor.

http://www.youtube.com/user/adoptedthemovie

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions/outlook/2009-01-11/adoption/

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/09/AR2009010903118.html

http://www.emediawire.com/releases/2004/4/emw117838.htm

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12185524

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions/outlook/2009-01-11/adoption/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27859660

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/story/cms.php?story_id=4508&page=0

Just because a child is available for "adoption" in a foreign country, doesn't make the adoption legal, or moral.

MamaKate

Hi, DorisLilian!

Everyone has their own reasons. Some of them are selfish and some of them are not.

"I believe adoption should benefit the child first and foremost!"

YOU are absolutely correct! Adoption SHOULD be about the needs of the child.

However, there ARE cases where international adoption might NOT be selfish. For example: Kinship IA - which is rare but DOES happen is NOT selfish in my opinion.

There is always an "exception to the rule" because every adoption, just like every person, is different and each should be weighed on its own merits.

Randy B

Having adopted both internationally and domestically I can say that for my wife and I adopting internationally had nothing at all to do with keeping birth parents from tracking down a child or having a situation where my daughter could not search for her birth parents. I believe that is a misconception held by many people but I don't believe that is the case for many people who adopt internationally.

We chose to adopt internationally because we were living overseas and we saw the conditions in which orphans were living in and we saw that there was not much interest within the country for adoptions. All of this essentially condemns a child to life in an orphanage if they are luck enough to live through the experience. Had we been home and required to pay the exorbitant prices for international adoptions we would have remained people who wanted to do something about the orphans but who couldn't afford to do anything.

In our case, and in any of the cases I personally know of, the adoption did benifit the child first and foremost. Had my daughter not been adopted by us when we did she would not have survived in the orphanage. She was seriously malnourished and was not going to last long. We were able to remove her from that environment, provide her with the basics of life (and I'm talking food, vitamins and attention not rainbows and ponies) she would have continued to waste away. As it stands, in spite of our best efforts, she has permanent cognitive delays and while she is doing very well in a modified school program she will most likely require lifelong care and supervision to keep her safe and healthy.

Would we go back and change anything if we could? Sure. We'd have gotten her out sooner if we could or at least see to it that she received the basics of life sooner in the hopes that she would not have these disabilities. Since we can't change the past we have always just looked forward to ensure that our children come first. We would still have adopted her without hesitation even if we knew where things would go as she got older. In our case the love is unconditional.

Are there those who shop the international adoption market looking for their child of choice? I'm sure there are, just as there are those who do it with the domestic market. Do the majority of people who adopt internationally do it for the self serving reasons noted in the question? I honestly don't believe so or there wouldn't be so many children with special needs being adopted from overseas regardless of their ages.

Abigail L

My parents adopted me because my grandfather told them it would be an honor to adopt a child from the country I was born in, where he fought in a war. I do not think it is selfish at all. That is kind of an immature train of thought. There are many, many more children without families in other countries.

sian p

I have relatives who have adopted a child from the UK, the system is arduos and lengthy and can be heartbreaking. Every aspect of their lives was put on display to all and sundry to see if they would make suitable parents, and there is beaurocracy beyond belief. It put a real strain on their relationship. From what I have read it seems that adoption from abroad may be an easier process. Aslo here in the UK most people want to adopt a baby, suprisingly there are very few babies who are put up for adoption, in the main it's children aged 2 and above. Personally, I wouldn't adopt from abroad, there are many children in care here in the UK that need stable homes. I also think that people assume children in foster care here in the UK are better care for than say children in a third world orphanage. This is just my opinion though, I have no real facts to back it up.

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

Ah yes.. of course, Lauriel ad cant'stop that IS... MUST be the reason for adopting overseas...

Let's just once again judge ALL Aps (or aps who adopted a certain way) without knowing their situation or their heart. Absoltutely! Let's put them ALL into a neat little "selfish greedy" box.. as if we don't do that enough every day.. after all, dontcha know ALL Aps and ALL adoptions are the same?

course you knew that..

red elephants

I don't think thats the reason for everyone.

We all have different passions in life. Different things we feel connected to and have a desire to work with, etc.

For some they are drawn to other countries and adopt because of that. A friend of mine plans to adopt her next child from Jamaica because its her favorite place in the world. She loves everything about it and would like to live there one day. So for her thats part of her reason for adopting from there and not the US.

For some they feel they are doing something that really helps a child who will otherwise be in an orphanage. Many of which are very under staffed, under funded and are not the place any child should be raised. Compare that to children in the US who are in homes with families while they wait for adoption. A friend adopted from China and the orphanages there are less than what any child deserves. The people working were wonderful but the housing was terrible. Our family donated thousands to the orphanages there when they were out of electricity for weeks and supplies running so low they didn't know what to do. It was dire and for some that is why they want to adopt from there. The need is higher as far as safety is concerned.

For some it may be because those children truly have no one who will take them in their own family due to whatever reason (poverty, death, war, government policy, etc).

Some may adopt because there is very little chance of ever finding a family and they want to protect themselves from that but I just do not believe that that is the main reason.

wartz

There are not enough unwanted domestic babies to satisfy demand.

Not A Supermum!

I would think the main reason is that there are far more orphans in further countries as a result of abandonment, parents death, etc etc.
It's not selfish at all - in fact I think it's selfless.

Chickadoo

I think anyone who adopts is fantastic to be able to do it, I am unsure why people would purposely go out of the country just to adopt, personally I think their are enough children in this country that need good homes first.

hannah

I'm not sure, but I've heard it's much easier to adopt a baby from another country than from ours. Another reason might be that people see babies from overseas as possibly "worse off" than American babies; they want to rescue them from a life that would be worse if they weren't adopted. Again, I'm not sure, but that's what makes sense to me.

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