Would you adopt a child if you were in the same position?
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Would you adopt a child if you were in the same position?
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I know its early to be thinking about these things, but i've always considered adoption even when I was really young. anyways lets say, you are from an affluent family, you parents, your grandparents, great grandparents, e.t.c have always been wealthy and you are the only male in the family. You are the one who is supposed to carry on the legacy. Now your parents, and everyone else is expecting you to marry a nice girl and have your own biological children so that they can maintain the blood and so that eventually the children will take over after you die. So would you ever consider adopting a child as your first child. This would mean that the child, who isn't blood related would eventually inherit most of the family's wealth. Would you still do it? knowing that the family would not really be too happy with it??
I've thought about having a biological child first, then adopting but nowing my family, I know that the biological child would be the favorite and would receive most of Additional Details the inheritance. I think it would be better and almost easier to adopt all my children, instead of mixing biological and adopted children.
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julie j
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In all honesty Josh, I would think long & hard about adopting in your case. I suggest this because by your own admission, your family would not equally love and accept this child. They believe an adopted child is not as good as a biological one. You say they would even leave less inheritance to an adopted child. You as a future adoptive parent, should never allow your children to be treated unequally regardless of how they joined your family. The children will obviously experience this and it's not right.
Before your family is approved for your adoption homestudy they will interview you at length. They will find out how your extended families feel about adopted children. It is in the children's best interest to be placed into a home where they will be loved and accepted by all family members, not just you & your wife. If all things were equal, and another family had grandparents that were accepting of adopted children while yours were not, the child would be placed with the other family. Remember, it's about what is best for the child. Hope this gives you some things to think about. Good luck with your future family.
julie j
reunited adoptee |
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Freckle Face
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I agree with Julie. Here's my short and sweet answer. If you are not able to cut your entire family our of your life, then you shouldn't adopt. It sounds like it will probably come down to that to protect your child.
Good luck to you. |
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Wishmaster
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i don't think blood is what carries on a legacy, it is in how you are raised and as long as you accept the child as your own then why wouldn't he/she be able to carry the torch it doesn't make the child any less a part of your family right? I honestly wouldn't care what the rest of my family thought and if my family loved me enough then they would love my children as well adopted or otherwise and treat them as equals and if they can't be treated as equals by other family members then those family members shouldn't have anything to do with my children.
Money can't buy happiness or love! |
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Sophie
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I'd do what's in your heart. But the family is soooo very important for your child(ren)'s lives. Remember that if you adopt, your child would come first... not your family and not yor inheritance. |
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Charlotte B
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its a good idea to adopt kids if you are able to take care of them, and if you can have your own kids you should.
i would suggest that if you do choose to adopt and also have your own kids, you need to have some sort of control from the grave to make sure your kids all have the same share in wealth, your family onthe other hand may have their own opinion and show affection mostly towards blood relatives which would be your own kids.
the solution is simple setup a family trust and direct how the kids should inherit. that was no one would receiev a bigger or smaller share ,they would inherit as you want them to |
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Proud Mama of 4
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This is your life, not your families choice on what you are going to do. Money doesn't matter. Love does. |
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BaByAnGeL
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i think its great. Those children that are waiting to be adopted need a home and a family that loves them too. If you are able to give a child, that is in need of a family, a family to come home to, than i say do it. |
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GEE-GEE
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This is only something you can answer and decide to do. I will tell you that I have adopted twice and love both of them like they were my own.
I actually considered using a surrogate but the price was way too high for me. If you have the money, maybe using a surrogate would be something you could do. That way you can have your own biological children, and won't have to worry about all the drama of the babies mama. You can have the child and you would be the only with custody. Just something to think about. |
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