Would you adopt a child of another race?

Warrior Mom

That's a good question, and one that every couple should give a lot of thought to before they decide to adopt. Because, at the heart of your question is, "How desperate are you to have a child? What are you willing to do to become a parent?" Desperation should not be the motivator for any adoption, period. Desperation can cause people to use bad judgment, and make poor choices, because they are only focussed on easing their own pain. If a person wants to adopt a child of a different race, it should be for the right reasons. Being desperate and "taking what you can get" is not a good thing for the child or anyone else.

My other concern is also for the child. Adoption is hard on all adoptees. Period. No matter how much the adoptive family loves them and feels like they are their own, the CHILD still feels adopted. They notice every little thing that points out that they are adopted. Racial and cultural differences are impossible for them to ignore. It just adds to the complication of their lives as adoptees.

However, I do not have any personal experience with adoption of children from other races. I cannot give any personal observations. I do feel that adoptive parents would certainly have to be aware of the child's heritage and culture, and demonstrate a respect and value for that heritage and culture.

Jennifer L

We adopted transracially, so yes.

eve

I have a child of a different race and it sounds absolutely awful to think that someone would adopt any child (no less mine) as a "last resort" or even that they see it as something they'd be "willing to do." Adopting a child is not something people should do because they are "willing." I adopted my son because i wanted so badly to have a baby and the fact that he looks different from me is certainly something that I know matters in some ways to society and the world and will have an impact on him -- but it is completely irrelevant to wanting him. Anything that is done with a child's interest in mind and heart should be looked at very differently than anything sounding like a "last resort." It just doens't work that way.

Racky

I would definitely adopt a child of another race - and not as a last resort. A child in need is a child in need. And what an honour to be able to give a loving home and embrace any child...

peaches6

Absolutely! Children or children regardless of color and there's plenty to adopt.

Freckle Face

Yes, we have. We would never consider judging anyone based on their external physical appearance. And i would never correlate "last resort" and child in the same sentence.

forever5

If I was looking to adopt, the race of a child would not matter. It doesn't matter what the race color or creed of a child is, they all need love.

babywait

I am currentlly adopting from China and it is not a last resort

Rachel Q

I would happily adopt a child from another race

Erin L

Well, I have. My daughter is Asian and I'm Caucasian. My husband, however, is Asian also, so it's not completely a transracial adoption. I really do think it will help with my daughter's identity formation that half of her extended family looks like she does and culturally exhibits some of the values and traditions of the culture in which she was born. But, her adoptee status is visible when I am with her, so she will always have that to deal with, and she will always be a minority at school, and in society, so there are always issues. I don't think it's wrong to adopt transracially, but it requires a commitment to face the issues it involves.

eta: It absolutely wasn't a last resort. We always planned to adopt an Asian child.

life goes on

yes but think of the child would it be secure living with a different race than theirs,
please think it over

Lil L

I would not hesitate. My husband though, is more concerned on behalf of the child.

Gina

I would definitely. Every child needs love no matter what they look like!

Sherry D

I did 19 years ago by choice. I was single and wanted a baby. I adopted a healthy black baby boy and I'm white. If you are thinking about crossing races it should be because you want a child not a particular child. There's nothing wrong with wanting a child that looks like you. But if that is what you want, don't cross races. He's fine by the way. I'm white but started attending an all black church when he was born. He doesn't have any issues about race or adoption for that matter. I think it made a huge difference that I was the one who looked different, not him

Brit

i'd adopt any race and not as a last resort. all children deserve a loving family.

Mama2FourPrincesses

Yes, however I thought hard and long about it. Not for my sake...for the sake of the girls. I had read so many stories of adoptees resenting their bland white parents for not understanding their cultural identity as different.
I wanted to provide the BEST for the children. After speaking with other adoptive parents and multicultural families, I know that I am the BEST because I have love. I am willing to learn. I am open to reaching out to others in the community who share their biracial heritage. AND I am an adoptee, so I will understand their longing for identity that comes with not living with a birth parent.
Any parent thinking of adopting across color lines needs to make sure they have prepared their hearts, lives and emotions of the scrutiny that exists in our still very racist world. http://www.adoptive-parenting.com/white-parents-adopting-black-children.html

GEE-GEE

Of course. Race does not matter. So right away. Love has no color.

MEEEE

I would never adopt a child as "last resort".

I plan to adopt either way, weather I have biological children or not. Race is not at all an issue.

Still Me

Last resort????? No, it's not a last resort! Anyone adopting a child (or anyone having a child) should do so out of 110% full unconditional commitment!

We have adopted transracially and for us, it is no different than adopting within "our" race. (Historians have proven that we are all from one race anyway, so the idea of "our" race seems silly to us.) Some different issues to handle, to be sure, but that is a part of parenting, dealing with the various issues that pop up. With adoption, some of those issues are known ahead of time, and some are not -- just like with parenting biological children.

moca_1

yes

I <3 Hollister

it doesnt matter about race if u feel oyu love the kid than u adopt them color size shape and other stuff like that doesnt matter

lighting goddess

if i was adopting i would be happy with a child...the color of my childs skin would be as important to me as its gender or height or eye color or toenails...

people are people....and having a child is a bond that easily overcomes such delicate issues such as race.

i do feel like if i had adopted a child of another race it would important for that child to be aware of his or her heritage and background...i would want my child to be proud of who they are and where they come from...but i would also stress that we are not defined by these things. we are defined by whats within us.

Jules2u

Yes! It wouldn't be a last resort decision at all. A baby or child just needs love and family, no matter their color.

Kimmy C

yes i would...my friend is white,...her boyfriend black and she wants to adopt a asian baby...there is nothing wrong with race difference

maca

personally,yes i would.but i would consider where you live and attitudes in the locality/school etc.kids can be very cruel and i know of a child who was adopted by a couple and was singled out for being "different and unlike her parents" totally unreasonable but it sometimes occours.unfortunately the world still has bigots.

Randy B

I've done it twice and I've never thought twice about it. My 15 year old is east Indian, my 13 year old was born to us and our 2 month old is First Nations (native American). I see my children, I don't see colour, and we have never had a bad experience from others. My kids are healthy, well adjusted and thriving both at home and in school.

I honestly think it's only an issue if we adults make it an issue.

Reppin Lockleaze

yeah i wanna adopt from Vietnam

TobinMax

Certainly. In fact, we are in the middle of an adoption right now. There are a variety of issues facing families interested in transracial adoption, particularly if the adoptive family is white. I think the best resource on this is a book called "Inside Transracial Adoption." There are a number of things families should know about transracial adoption before making this decision. It is easy to say that race does not matter. The authors of "Inside Transracial Adoption" would present a different viewpoint--that race is a starting point for identity and heritage. Pretending it doesn't exist or is meaningless can do great damage.

Many adoptive families have begun blogs about their experience in transracial adoption--particularly from overseas. I would also suggest doing a blog search on transracial adoption to see the experiences of others.

You can read our own adoption and family blog at http://www.themonbergs.com.

sdminor11

It would not be my first choice. But if you just want a child to love and a child to love u it really doesnt matter. Do what you feel is best for yourself and the child

srrac

i would consider it right away if i felt like i had a bond with the child.

Santa's Lil' Helper

I adopted my second cousin. She is a mixed raced child.
We did not adopt her to create a "rainbow family".
We did not adopt her as a "last resort". We adopted her because she was family and needed a home and we wanted to provide that home.

My husband and are considering adoption again. And because dd is biracial we think it important to adopt either another biracial child or and African American child. Having a child with the same skin tone as my husband and I was never important. We never planed on trying to pass this child as our biological child.

People have good intentions when the want to adopt children of another race but we all know as the saying goes: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." I think often people do not really think through all the issues that may arrise...not for them BUT THE CHILD.

We have taken the time to educate ourselves and incorporate her African American and Native American (it helps that my husband has Native American ancestry)heritage into our family. Why my husband and I look Caucasian we come from a very diverse families and have diverse friends. I think this is key to why she is is content. I think it is irresponsible for Caucasian people to think they can adopt and child of another race is they have no family and friends of other races.
The child will feel like they stand out.

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