Would you become an egg donor for a good friend?

Gershom

I would NEVER.

These are my eggs.

That would be MY child.

My children(even before conception) are not for sale or donation.

Problem Child

No, I could never do that for anyone. It sounds like from what you said, that you can't do it either. When you turn her down, don't feel bad or guilty. She never should have asked you for such a thing, it's too much to ask from even a good friend.
It would be like giving away your child, she should understand that. Just explain that to her, and hopefully she won't be so wrapped up in her own needs that she will understand.
If she gets upset, just remember that, for some women, having a baby feels like a life and death issue. It's not a healthy, balanced state of mind, so if she is devastated, just be patient with her and remember that it's not your job to fix this for her.

Isabel A

No. I would never do it. Not even for my sister. Never.

Heather B

No I wouldn't. That would be my child and my kids are not for sale or loan.

I totally disagree with the one poster who said donors should be annonymous. What about the child - how are they supposed to feel about that. Sick.

cguest

She should understand if you are not comfortable with the idea. If she gets mad, then she isn't a good enough friend to be giving your eggs to anyways.

magic pointe shoes

No.

My reasoning is two fold:

1. the same reasons that many gave about how my children should stay with me. I already lost one child to adoption, I will not willingly give away any more of my children.

2. The physical risk to my own body in order to give away my eggs is unacceptable.

Andraya

Nope. Never.

About the only person I would even consider doing that for is my sister, her hubby had the snip snip so not likely that would every happen, tg.

Biologically the child would be yours. If you can't live with that fact then don't do it. Her infertility is not your problem to fix. Sorry if that sounds cruel but it is the truth

yep

No.

TotalRecipeHound

I wouldn't. Not a lot of women would for exactly the reason you describe. It would be a different story, maybe, if it was a sister or close relative.

sandy

i would never be able to do this myself i wish there was something i can tell you to be able to explain to her why you do not want to help her. i sure hope someone else can give you the answer you need. goodluck.

Erin L

I think the question is would YOU donate eggs for your friend, and it sounds like you are NOT comfortable doing it. You absolutely should not do it if you are not comfortable with it, and it is NOT something you should feel pressured into. I have a similar type of infertility as your friend, so I could carry a pregnancy but not have a biological child. I cannot imagine asking someone to donate eggs. I had my best friend and my sister, who knew of my infertility, both offer. We also have close friends who had left over embryos from IVF who offered them to us. In the end, I was not comfortable with any of these "options." It just felt like we would be getting into way too complicated territory. Now that I have identified the ethical issues a little more clearly, I don't think it is right to intentionally create an "adoptee" (the child would not be genetically yours, so it would be raised by non-biological parents, so in that sense an adoptee). Adoption should happen out of necessity because a child needs parents. Anyway, we decided to adopt a child already in the world who needed a family.

Anyway, do not feel pressured to do this!

eta: Anabelle is right. Besides the whole huge issue of giving your genetic material to your friend, there is the issue of what it would put your body through to donate eggs. It is quite grueling and a long process physically. And it could take several donations for her to achieve pregnancy. It's your body and your genetic material. This is not a "favor" one puts pressure on another to give.

Kim

I think you've answered your own question. I don't think you should do it. You have too many concerns about it.

I have (sort of) been in your friend's position. Our reproductive endocrinologist suggested donor eggs. We decided to stop fertility treatments at that point, for a variety of reasons.

However, I would not have asked anyone (even my sister) to be a donor for us. If someone had offered I *might* have considered it, but unless someone volunteered, I would have assumed the answer would be no. I would never have put someone in the position of having to turn us down.

I think your friend put you in a very unfair situation -- and I'm sorry for that. Hopefully she's clear-headed enough to realize that your decision is not a reflection on her or your friendship. But even if this decision costs you the friendship, I still don't think you should do it.

To answer your question about whether *I* would do it -- No... but I don't think anyone would want my eggs anyway. ;)

grapesgum

No, I would not consider it. I could never be estranged from one of my children. And what about the child knowing that he/she was harvested from another woman? Ick.

Annie

if i had any friends at all and she couldnt have a baby i would help but you have to think how good of a friend she is

Freckle Face

If i were single i might consider it for my sister if she were drug-free, but my hubby would never go for it. He would not even consider surrogacy. He does not want any part of me or him inside anybody else. He thinks it would be breaking our vows.

I can sympathize with you having all girls, it would bother me if someone else was raising my only son. As much as you love and want to support your friend, you have to do what is right for you first. Her infertility issues are not your problem. I think an anonymous donor would be more appropriate. good luck

GEE-GEE

Just be honest with her. Just tell her that you would feel too weird. Especially since you are friends and would have to see the baby all the time.

viciouspretzel

I'd donate any part of me to a friend.

welonheadmoo

If you're not comfortable with it, just tell her no and the reason. If she's truly your friend, she won't be mad at you.

Personally, I would for a really really good friend, after doing paperwork to make sure they won't sue for child support or anything like that later on. Who knows, the world is a crazy place nowadays. I am not "maternal" or eager to raise a child, so I would be ok with it.

*dreamer*

I would, without even hesitating. She would do the same for me.

Be honest with her. Tell her exactly what you have said here, if she's a real friend she will understand.

I've offered to be an egg donor to my sister, but never for a good friend.

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