Would you take this girl in?

Ok i need help. one of my friends asked me if it were me what would i feel like and what would i do seeing how i am a mom and a teen. She got this phone call from an adoption agency and she is 16 with a 2 year old child. she is currently in rehab for oxycotton. Well my friend has a three year old that she adopted.Anyways she wants opinons on what to do. Also by law here seeing how she is a foster child if they decide to go somewhere the girl has to have a baby sitter even though she is 16 and has a child. Would you feel weird if you were her age and have a child but yet still has to have a babysitter? She has another room but it is small and she can support her. Would you if you could and had a younger child in the house as well? How would you deal with the fact that she has a child? would you still have rules for her and her child to follow? Any advice is greatly appreciated

monkeykitty83

Whether your friend can handle this situation is really up to her, and depends on her own resources. But this girl needs somewhere to go, and if your friend can help, it would be a really good thing to do. It probably won't go perfectly, and there will be some bumps in the road, but I think ultimately it as the potential to be a positive thing for this girl.

Some specifics:

As for having a babysitter... the rules are the rules. It may seem weird, but that's the way it is, and it would be the same in a different home. Also, remember this girl has a substance abuse problem-- that makes a big difference in her needs. She probably needs a great deal more supervision than most people of her age, for her own benefit. It's really important to her future and her baby's future that she kick this drug habit.

Yes, she still needs rules to follow. She's only sixteen, she probably hasn't had a lot of boundaries in her life, and she has the drug issue. The rules don't have to be anything too drastic, and she shouldn't be treated like she's four, but she should be expected to help out around the house, be the primary caretaker for her baby when she isn't in school, and not do anything disruptive or harmful to anyone else in the home. You wouldn't let any other girl of sixteen live without rules or some basic chores to do, and this girl probably needs more structure, not less.

As for the baby, remember two things. 1.) This girl is the mother, not the sibling or babysitter, and she needs to be given that respect and recognition. 2.) She will probably need quite a bit of help and support to learn to parent. The goal should be trying to help her establish a healthy lifestyle, so when she gets a bit older and is off the drugs, she can live as an independent adult and care for her child on her own. There needs to be a strong focus on teaching her skills she'll need, and helping her learn to parent her child herself rather than someone else always doing it for her.

If your friend has the room in her home, and the emotional resources to care for this girl, I think that giving her a safe and supportive place to live could help her out a lot.

Brown Sugar

yes, my house is My house. she would have to follow rules until she gets out on her own. her age doesn't matter. it's the fact that she lives under someone else's roof and is not paying any bills in the house. it cost to be the boss!

sweet01dee

I WOULD TAKE HER IN, BUT SHE WOULD NEED TO RESPECT MY RULES AND MY HOUSE.

Nora

She has to consider the child already in her home first. The teen with a 2 yr old and a drug habit could be a danger to her child I would say NO

Fireball

probably not...im sure she has parents to help her out....its not your prob

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