im pregnant and putting the baby up for adoption...?

Sarah

"Allowing" her to make keepsakes....for goodness sakes, people, this is the PREGNANT woman talking here. She's not necessarily QUOTING the adoptive parents!

Anyway....I'm in the same shoes you are. I already have children of my own. I'm pregnant with my third, and the father bailed extremely early. That situation in itself is very difficult. I already love my child dearly, but I'm also afraid that I wont be able to take care of this child the way he should be taken care of. Adoption is not abandoning, and abortion IS murder.

So go on with yourself and make that pillow!! I have a pillow from when I was a baby, and I cherish it. Great choice.

LinnyG

"The adoptive parents are allowing me to make her some keepsakes so she'll always have something from me" Seriously? They are "allowing you"? Do you not see what they will be like as parents to YOUR baby?

Oh my God. I am so sad for your baby, and for the child you already have. He will never trust you and always fear he will give him away, too. Please reconsider keeping your daughter.

Trust me....as an adoptee, I can say I would have rather lived with my single Mom rather than lived with strangers who have "stuff". All a child wants is her mother- NOT strangers. You can keep her, and there IS help available to you.

Most first Moms never recover from surrendering their children. Mine did not. Most adoptees never recover, either.

Please learn about how adoption loss will affect you and your baby girl...AND your son. It is NOT fair to either of your children.

http://www.cubirthparents.org
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
http://www.youtube.com
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

eta: No one said it was an easy decision. Its brutal. But I can almost guarantee you that the pap's who want your baby & the agency or lawyer never gave you the links I gave you. Why? Because they are written by people who have been through the PAIN- not the gain.

Oh, and someone needs a link to the meaning or "coercion". For realz.

http://www.reference.com/browse/coercion

scrumpkin

Am I the only one that finds it sad that the adoptive parents are "allowing" her to make keepsakes?

Pip

Personal opinion is you should raise both your children together and RIGHT decision would be to do exactly that. As your mind is made up I am willing to share poetry I have written but not willing to share all here so contact me. Here's some and my adoption reality:

For My Son

A tiny boy born on a summer's day,
Too young to know the sun's bright ray,
Too young to know his first mother's love,
Too young to know his second mother's need.

The years go flying by to fast,
He's growing into a fine young man,
Loving his mother and his family,
Wondering about his first mother.

One day he is old enough to search,
In his heart he needs to know her,
The truth he needs to know now,
Of why she let him go his other mother.

Five years later his mother finds him,
His questions he can now ask her,
To get to know his roots at last,
From his first mother who loves him.

So Many Times

So many times I want to tell you I love you,
The times I wanted to hug and kiss you,
The pain is so deep inside me aching,
But my head tells me to be happy.

So many times I have hated myself,
Wanting to shout and cry out loud,
Wishing I could turn back the clock,
Wondering how I let this happen.

So many times I have dreamt about you,
Hoping that you are happy to be alive,
Then knowing about your life and family,
Still trying to find that inner peace for me.

Mother?

Who am I to the world?
Not a mother I am told,
Just an ordinary woman,
What am I, if not a mother?

No child for me to raise,
For me no one to praise,
A wife is all I am now,
What am I, if not a mother?

The ache in my heart,
My world blown apart,
Emptiness filling my life,
Not to be a mother ever.

Loneliness that I can't express well,
A void not filled for me to dwell,
Sadness always part of my life,
Not to be a mother ever.

Time to move forward firm,
To a happier future I turn,
Nothing I can change in my past,
My truth is I am a mother.

I do not know what my future holds,
Only that my past must fold,
I now know who my son is,
My truth is that I am a mother.

ETA What a surprise getting a TDs for answering the question. I can give a website but this questioner would have to be a member to see the poetry which is why I posted some. So ..... there is poetry on http://www.touchedbyadoptionforums.com - click on Touched by Adoption Forum then you can register to be a member or go directly to http://www.touchedbyadoptionforums.com/forum to register. Your membership will be approved and the only reason for doing it this way is to stop spammers. Everybody happy now?

Oh and incidently I also think it's incredibly sad she is being "allowed" to this .... very patronising of the adoptive parents

Angela

I love you so very much
And want to provide everything you need
Which is why i abandoned you
To total and complete strangers

You'll live without your OBC
And you'll never know who you truly are
But that's okay because it what's best for me
And that's all i really care about.

ETA: If you don't want our opinions then don't post your stupid bad mothering questions online. Any real mother would do everything possible to keep her baby. Especially if she already had another child. I know this because my son was unplanned/unwanted but i didn't abandoned him. I did the adult thing and parented him. Stop doing what is best for you and do what is best for your daughter, "mommy."

MoM oF tWo

Maybe you should write a letter instead she can have when she is older.

Sorry if this is rude but how can you have a baby and then give your next one up? I hear about many women who give up their first child, but to keep the first and give away the second how can you even consider it?

ADD* Single moms do it ALL the time! The men will legally have to pay support which will financially help and whether they have visitation is up to them to decide. That is NO excuse! How do you know this couple isn't going to get divorced 6 months from now? Then your child could grow up with a single parent anyway! Maybe you should have thought things through a little better before getting pregnant again.

Allanas

The whole point of poetry is that it comes from the heart. Copying something from a website is pointless.

And really? An embroidered pillow?

If you're mother just got diagnosed with cancer and she was going to die in October, what would you want to remember her by?

A pillow?

No!

Make her a scrapbook. Include pictures of you, your parents, your siblings, you as a baby, you as a teenager, you pregnant with her...

Keep a journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings during pregnancy. Include all aspects of your life, your childhood, your hopes for the future...

Your baby wants YOU!!!
She wants to know YOU!!!

Not some silly poem.

Johnsmuffinpie

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:vS835mmErGsJ:poetry.adoption.com/+poem+from+birth+mother&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

I find it ironic that the same people that scream that almost all birth mothers are coerced into giving their children up think it's fair to judge and coerce this young lady that feels like she is doing what is best for her child. Is coercion only ok when it suits YOUR agenda? I'm sure she didn't come to this decision lightly. My birth mom didn't feel she was ready or able to care for me and I know she did the right thing.

niceman

i want to adopt a baby pplssss help me email me here siakol_3560@yahoo.com or lilblue_213@yahoo.com im from philippines pampanga angeles city im willing to help

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